Moving On To Better... (I changed)

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

About my growth after rough times, finding my spiritual side more.

I realized, lately, that I have changed over the last few years now and I’m glad. I’m proud of my growth. This growth has cause me to grow from and move on from people in my past life - even from celebrities like Mariah Carey, who I basically used to always worship. I am sure her fans harassing me and Adeline at one point helped me to move on from her, too, but it’s mostly her music, her personality, and me changing. I don’t dislike her, but I don’t love her anymore, either.  
 
I always used to try to hold onto everything from my past - big mistake. I recently saw an old “friend on Instagram and decided to request her, but she was too good to know me anymore. I admit it hurt a bit, but more because she was still mutual friends with my ex-bestie, Shannon M. For some reason the subject of Shannon M. stings still. I thought about it later, after letting it ruin my peace for a day, and I doubted she paid attention to her being on her friend list even - she didn’t interact with her from what I saw, anyway - so I DID feel better there.
 
Looking back, whether they would have talked behind my back or not, who cares. Who cares, who are they, anyway? The horrible, personal attacks I could say, aside - I realized my life is about me and moving forward. As I said, I have changed, and these people no longer serve me, nor do their words or opinions. I don’t have to be phased be anything they think or say. That’s just negative energy, I already let them give enough of that to me, but I *can* stop it. I *can* control my reaction to things and to all the other things I no longer like. 
 
I can let go. I’ve learned I seem to have to be upset, first. Then I move on. It’s the Cancer in me, my emotions react first, then my sensible side takes over. I have to take charge of my initial reaction, those emotions need reeled in. I’m already learning to clean away the negativity of each day and start fresh. I use selenite to aid with that. Also, I take time to focus on and to be thankful for what I was given (instead of just focusing on the bad) that day.  
 
It may sound silly, but with every month’s full moon, I work on Elsa’s advice of letting go. Routine is important and while negative thoughts may enter my mind now and then, negative thoughts I haven’t filtered out yet, but I will in due time, so that’s okay. I may always be a work-in-progress, but that means I am also constantly bettering myself. I’m better than who I was and I will make sure I’m always going to be better than who I currently am.  
 
I still have old friends like, Kim K., in real life and made new ones, like Adeline. They’re both down-to-earth people and keep it real as can be! I couldn’t appreciate them any more, even if things haven’t always been perfect with us. “Life is messy,” Chloe Caroline taught me that. 
 
Speaking of, my new famous loves are Chloe Caroline, Madi B. Webb, Mia Osman, Shayna Taylor, Qveen Herby, and the Trump Women + Kayleigh (Ivanka Trump, Lara Trump, Melania Trump, Kayleigh McEneny, Kimberly Guilfoyle). Positive, amazing women!  
 
I used to think I was thankful or praying, I said it but never went through the motions. That has changed! If I say online that I am praying, then I actually say a prayer to the Universe as I or after I type. I learned that it’s all about intentions. You must set your intentions as you do your actions, for them to matter - and I was not putting much effort into the actions in the past. 
 
Journaling has helped me manifest daily and get a routine, too. I feel routine is important for health. Even though a lot is wrong physically, I am feeling better. I’m out of bed every day and doing things. Do what you can. Crystals have given me faith and more of a connection to the universe, especially wearing many of the crystals as jewelry. Meditating and incense have helped given me peace and open up my mind more. I still love music, but I’ve turned to uplifting lyrics. I made a “positive playlist” for the first time in my life. Half of it is Qveen Herby 
 
As I said earlier, I can, we can control our reactions. We are magnetic creatures. I learned that we can attract and pull towards the positive things and go away with the negative, which doesn’t match our vibrations. Envisioning things helps. Challenge your thoughts. When negative ones come up, counteract them with positive ones. If you say something bad about something, someone else or especially about yourself, then follow it up with something positive. Things are always coming and going, until the very end. 
 
Always remember to ask yourself, does it add to my energy or take away from it? If it takes away from your energy, then stay clear from it if possible! Sometimes we have to do things. In that case, hopefully we make the best out of situations. 
 
“It may not always be the best, but go ahead and make it worthwhile and kick it to the moon, stars, and beyond miles!”
 
If it’s not worthwhile, if it’s not worth trying, then don’t waste your energy on such negativity. Try to stay focused on the positive, you deserve it.  Sometimes in life, there are situations we can’t deal with and we are better off just walking away from (by all means possible). And quitting, halting something ... that’s okay. “You didn’t fail if you tried, you survived. That is the ultimate move in the game of life. 
 
 

 


Submitted: June 02, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Jenni Littzi. All rights reserved.

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