Psycho GFs

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

New girlfriends have a habit of harassing me when they get the guy and the last one was a real trip.

Psycho “new” girlfriends instead of ex girlfriends harass me or obsess over me, it’s the new ones that did it, even though they now had the guy. I don’t understand it. I may have sorta started with Ericka because she was the other woman, but she continued and continued and continued after that. And she was the third new gf to harass me in this way. There was Sarah P. after my first boyfriend, Jeff G. and Farrah F. after my second boyfriend, Corey S., but those are other entries to get to someday.  
 
After everything was done with the breakup with Jesse H., I mostly stayed in bed crying. His mother and sister, who I helped fly down to see him, because I was moved that she didn’t get to see him since he had returned from deployment, had deleted me from social media and ghosted me after that. It hurt that they kept another ex if his around, but now would not acknowledge me from this day forward and I never understood why we couldn’t be cordial... what did he say to them? It’ll always bother me. My sister-in-law at the time, Brandi L. would be my current partner in crime to figure out why the breakup happened at all the way it did. 
 
Not everyone is like their zodiac sign but I am. You can read about Cancers and it’s all me - including all the emotional crap and ... being vindictive. 
 
I still knew something was off and I couldn’t let go, I had to know the truth, so I thought to create a Facebook profile he’d accepted, but Jesse suddenly was accusing me of being a hacker, like he never knew me before, like I had those kind of skills. How easily they just forget how they did know you. 
 
And there it was, less than two weeks after he dumped me, proof he even called her the evening after I left his place. Of course who she was, she was tagged on his page. There was even a comment from his sister, (who ghosted me along with his mom, but keep that ex, who cheated with 7 military men buddies while he was deployed), commenting this new girl was so pretty. It hurt so bad, I went out of my way to plan to get her to Florida to see her brother after hearing stories from him. 
 
She looked the opposite of me and that really upset me, because Jesse always has a thing for blondes, later I even learned his ex wife claimed he “made” her go blonde. He would obsess over how he said my looks complimented and contrasted his darker features. So why would he cheat on me and leave me for the opposite? I was more lost now and left with more questions. 
 
Brandi L. messaged the new girlfriend  Ericka E. on Facebook, not that I can remember all the exact words, but they went at it for awhile that night. I do remember at first she was rude then apologetic for “taking” Jesse. That was until the next morning and I guess that’s when things wouldn’t be the same, they would never end on here part. I wanted to get out my frustrations and yell I KNOW THAT YOU LIED AND CHEATED and release all that he didn’t allow me to with the truth before. Brandi was doing this for me but the bickering wouldn’t end here. 
 
I did something strange and befriended Jesse’s crazy ex wife, why? Because I was so lost and angry at this point, you ever wonder if maybe you were wrong and the person before you had a point and you wish you knew their side now? I wanted to compare patterns with her to prove he was this horrible person, but to be fair, we all have our dating patterns. I also ended up befriending through the ex wife, Shannon B., her brother and a friend Jordin, who was ex military, and would end up helping me later on with Ericka. For this, I’m thankful for meeting Jesse’s ex wife. While we dated, I had to guide him to spare him from still getting used by her, but being her “friend” online and seeing her life firsthand, I invited her down at one time I when felt for her, but eventually she went psycho on me for her other friend, so I gave the attitude back and said goodbye finally. The DRAMA! I don’t regret this off meeting, thanks to Jordin’s help when I got serious and went for a restraining order, and you’ll see why I felt the need to involve her Seargent, Seargent Neal. 
 
At one point, Ericka said her and Jesse broke up because he went through her phone while she was in the bathroom and got jealous of a work buddy, but that he didn’t understand a woman in the military. I actually said something to get them back together. Go figure, I’m always saying what’s best like a counselor, but she got mad at me first about something and said she was now going back to him just out of spite to get back at me. Okay, whatever. By this time, I think I finally was done desperately emailing him to get back together. I was pitiful. 
 
Now that we were back hating each other, for some reason Ericka came back again claiming to have broken up with Jesse and related to me and was writing me nicely, but then she was writing me as a supposed new girlfriend of Jesse’s named “Mandy” who went to USF, who now hated me and harassed me. Go figure. Tell me this is not ultimately insane, writing me as two people, both nicely and with hate? This went on for awhile, months, and I guess she couldn’t take me not knowing she still really had him so one day, as Mandy, she wrote me in third person, like ... What if she’s been playing you this whole time and she’s really with him, etc. She had to be gleaming and honestly I wasn’t shocked for some reason, but I knew then that this chick was not your normal stalker girl crazy. 
 
Throughout all of this, two months in after the break up, I made a major suicide attempt and Ericka was informed and yet she continued with these actions both before, during, and after, knowing I was suicidal during each phase. The whole ordeal of suicide is a entry of itself. I know I shouldn’t have been looking at her social media, but I was extremely weak, a prisoner to myself and my past, and I knew Ericka was talking about me and would not only make posts about me on social media, she would dedicate “about me” sections all to me. She would talk about how fat I was, which at the time I had only put on 25 pounds, max. Jesse’s sister, Jesse himself, struggle(d) with weight, so how could they sit back and allow the bullying to continue? Did they not notice? How not? My mom would text Jesse a few times, if he didn’t block her the first time, as he never had the decency to reply, and she would practically beg to have Ericka back off. Nothing ever changed. I thought he hated drama, what happened? Did he not know any of the truth? How could he not know?
 
Two years or more later, I had enough and with Jordin’s help, who worked at Jesse’s old base and she knew who he was, I contacted Ericka’s Seargent, Neal. He suggested that we girls sit down together and I told him, while open to it, I thought we were past that. Sargent Neal was very helpful and didn’t seem shocked by her behavior. The problem here at the time was I couldn’t get a hold of her address yet, which was Jesse’s new one, so they couldn’t serve her. I went to court three times, the papers were filed but never served.
 
Finally, by social media, I knew she already left to Japan, so I let it go, but I ended up with a call from her Seargent saying JESSE called him stating I needed to drop the RO as it’s holding her back from her getting her orders to leave. I told him that’s funny, because I’m almost certain she’s already in Japan and the papers never were even served - but if she is here I’ll do that sit down in a heartbeat! I also said I doubted that was Jesse who called, but now I don’t know, would he call and lie? Did I give him too much credit before? Why the lie anyway, was she afraid of having it on her record? She deserves it. Of course, I never heard back, because she was no longer in the USA (thank you, god). 
 
Things were mostly quiet, a couple months later they broke up (shocker, long distance and she was never his ideal match and cheaters never win, can’t start that way) and she wrote me on Instagram one last time to say, at least she knows he’ll never come back to me. I said, that’s fine, as long as he didn’t end up with her. 
 
Of all people, I hope it hurt. 
 
I probably was really insane after our break up, because my health was already failing me again and things are going wrong on EVERY level and he became the last straw to break me, sadly. He was the best thing to me, yet he treated me the worst of all his girlfriends. They lied, cheated, used him - yet he did these things to only me - according to Ericka he used me, too. He wanted to leave me with hate, leave me thinking I was used, until he found someone better, once he settled into Tampa. I wish I were strong enough at the time to just walk away. I wish I walked away any time he made me cry from his jealousy arguments and accusations. 
 
So ... that was my first (and only) love. 
He couldn’t *let me* let go. 
It wasn’t all bad at all, but this was about HER. #3 
 
I have no idea why I got this pattern in life, the new girlfriends. I wish I were stronger at the time, that I could avoid and ignore things better. Social media can be great or so evil in the wrong hands. It comes down to controlling our actions and our responses, because that’s my options. If I stayed away from their social media, deleted their messages, and even went for a restraining order earlier, I would have had my peace back quicker. I’m learning to mind my business more. 
 

 


Submitted: June 02, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Jenni Littzi. All rights reserved.

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