A Smokey Haze

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is a short story I've been working on for a while. It's about questions and theories of the universe.

In the midst of my mind is everything yet nothing. All of life's problems in one single vital organ of my body. My brain. It’s like a never ending loop of lies, truth, hurt, and chaos. In all the mist is a smoky haze of the unknown, not knowing what will come next and what won’t. What could be an end to a journey and what maybe a path into a new journey unbeknownst to me. It could be life itself trying to lead me in the right direction and to the right choices but along the way, you never know what obstacles you may face. What truths will reveal themselves and what lies will become the truth. What is the next step forward towards destiny and to the core of life itself?

 

The path you choose to take is not your choice, but the universes, will you be led in the right direction and make the right choices or will you be led in the right direction and make the wrong decisions and wrong choices, what will your fate be dependent on your choices. What could you possibly know what will come next? What is life itself? What is it trying to tell you. Well, what I can say is that life is tough and unfair but it's your choice whether you know it or not. Walking into that smokey haze not knowing what could happen in the next second of your existence? Could it be the end of your life or a light to guide you through the haze?

What is it about people that just draw you towards them for any given reason and why does it happen? Is someone or something trying to tell you something that you didn't see for yourself or is it just your subconscious leading you on your journey.

 

There will always be that one special person in the haze which will guide you in ways you can't possibly imagine,  but in reality, that person is there to help you or lead you into a trap people like to call “love”? A quote here makes you think deeply about life choices “I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul” in the midst of secrets, darkness and shadows, that special person will never know how much they actually mean to you. In the darkness is always light, but is it light for you, or for you mind to keep you from falling deeper and deeper into the darkness that consumes you your entire life for the rest of your life? “When getting trapped in a deep state of mind, that deep feeling you have inside you is fear, fear that things won’t turn out how you hope they would, but if you just trust yourself, have faith that things will work out for you, and as soon as you stop looking and wanting for what you think you want and just let life take controls for a little while your calling will find you” ¬ A friend said this with such deep and intense thought that it’s so true because if you think about it, you get stuck in a deep state of mind, that everything around you seems to cease to exist and that you fear of what is to come and that you’re constantly trying to know what is going to happen that you don't live in the now and that you don’t think about what you want because everything and everyone is constantly trying to tell you what you want, not you yourself. 

 

The constant pressure of life and all that comes with it consumes you and there’s nothing you can do but to survive. The constant threat of life and pressure from other and the disappointment you recieve when you try to be genuine with the people you truly love, the people you truly care for and all of a sudden, it all just dies and everything becomes lost in the smoky Haze of ourselves that we call life, but that's just part of the journey of life. We do what we can to live our best life but sometimes it gets too hard that we just need to take a moment and think about what comes next and what we decide to do. What we consider the right decision in life and what is considered wrong decision to others could be the right decision to yourself and that single decision may just be the very decision that saves you from judgement, anger and hatred. It could just very well save you from everyone around you, but if it doesn’t. It will save yourself and will hurt everyone around you.

 

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and beautiful parts of us”, now if we think about this carefully and what it means? Is it saying that in order for us to find the best and beautiful parts of ourselves that we have to get hurt by others? Do we have to open old wounds in order for them to heal, or are the wounds healed by others that don’t care about you, that don’t want anything to do with you or are just using you for their so called reputation?

 


Submitted: June 02, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Tom de Beer. All rights reserved.

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