So Where The Fuck Is She?

So Where The Fuck Is She?

-

Scrambling my brains into an omelet

I wonder, still, "who is to eat it?"

I sit around, pen in hand

Lost the world, I'm not a man

No woman I ever lost would ever want me back

And the women I got rid of

__I never needed to begin with

The sorrowful world

It shrinks and then grows

There's nobody, whom I can hold

I scream in horror

I drown in pain

It's all my fault

I can't go on

My life's ripped up

I can't live on

With a world of shame

__shattered into pieces

Love falls on the ground

And without a word

It makes no sound

Thee empty hours don't tick and talk anymore

I've lost my grip on love's door

It will not open

__"oh, what a world!"

But I won't die here, all for nothing, yet

It's just that all The Powers That Be

Cannot bring love back to me

And looking in the trash

__for some kind of sign

Sure don't help

__me get out of my mind

I'm trapped inside a head that's dead

And I've fallen by the way-side

I do that again and again

I live, milking the rats

Since that's all the milk

__that I can have

Mortified time

Destructed tomorrows

Self-obliterated worlds

And self-imprisonment

I can be the subject

I lose whatever I get

I can't see the signs

But I know they don't point to "yes"

I'l forever remember the noise in my head

As they blare at full volume

__just trying ta kill me, dead

But the truth is nowhere to be found

I could not care for crying clowns

With their sad faces, all around

And bubbles of sound

__I will pop with a pin

I walk around, for hours on end

Not knowing when the beginning ends

When this disaster

Comes and destroys us all

I'll remain undisturbed

__by a woman's love

And be able to buy myself

__whatever I want

But self-pleasure ain"t ev'rything

It's just better than the gold-digging bitches

That, in my past, have clung onto me

Where ever they've gone, I do not care

I want a woman who's not after my money

Call it "selfishness"

Call it

__maybe

____"indifference to a woman's wants"

They are not needs

__so what the fuck!

But I can't crawl out of bed alone

So one of these days I'm gonna have to fold

But I can't be bothered with

__a woman's shopping list

Not right now

I'm still shopping, myself

It's not like a woman in the world

__wants me right now anyhow

So I can't complain

__about where my money's going

I just can't stand the lack of love

That comes with the lack of a relationship

Where the lack of intimate moments

Damage my existence

And puts me out of life's bonus

Called "intimacy"

That I seem to no longer be experiencing

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06-02-'21 #2

D. L. Cannon