wild's son

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


It’s just like him.This landscape, beautiful in its harshness.Spartan but not uncaring, just…uncompromising.He is fierce; in his lovemaking, in his defense of his lifestyle, in his decision not to bend to finding work in town.He is wild and beautiful.A hawk diving for its food, a cougar on the hunt. He lives in these hills like a creature untamed.His house is built of rock and logs.His meals are fresh trout and wild venison.I wake and he is already gone, looking for what animals came by last night, if the forest service has been at the lookout tower, if hunters have disturbed the elk that graze in the high meadow.I know he will come back with fresh mint for tea, wild currants and a bouquet.Always a bouquet.And he will tell me all the names of the flowers and which ones are edible or medicinal. We will wander and he will teach me how to read the land, how to read the sky.He will ignore the candy bar I sneak out of my pack for lunch.Or that I take notes and draw images of the tracks, the landscape, him.A novel in the making. It was the story that drew me, it is the man who keeps me here.

 

Could I do this?Could I live as wild as he does?He says nothing.I am like the fox who sits outside his house and watches.He doesn’t feed it but it stays and in his way he loves it.He brushes my hair, he makes necklaces of the rounded stones in the river.He wanders to town sometimes for thread and mail. Winter will come. I know she will be just as harsh as this landscape.Am I ready?


Submitted: June 15, 2021

© Copyright 2021 skye cobalt. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Hans Sigurd Lillegard

I like the ending and am pulled in with the description in the first paragraph. I have to wonder if you want to predict the paragraph endings with a word or two. Good short stories never end...this is one. I wonder about his internal characteristics...what is it in him that drives the fiction? Do you want to develop tension in the work say a question at the end of the first paragraph? Your description of him is pretty dense, does it need to become more lyric? Do you need to show or predict the ending ahead of time in the end of the second paragraph? What about the animals he tracks...is that asking to be a secondary theme?

Tue, June 15th, 2021 8:15pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Hans. I would like to develop this story into more detail but that 300 word limit...

Wed, June 16th, 2021 7:43am

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