Great Gifts

After years I returned
To see that person once again,
The one I disdained before and since
That time have no reason to revoke that sentiment,
Even with the passage of time.

I am able to talk to his surprise,
A gleeful acceptance of my gesture,
And of course that is. But in this place
Where the church-goers pace is slow and steady,
They always remain but one personality
That never has the time to change.
However, I have changed clearly.

Years later, I have not lost
My deepest resentment for him
And the careful consideration of his next journey
And how he might worsen the lives of others
As I consider he did for me
And offered me no hope to move beyond that.
Yet here I am fully capable
Of discussing anything besides.

It may be that the greatest gift,
Which I have not received often that I can remember,
Is when someone gives the essence of a changed heart
Blooming fully in view of the audience
So as to delight them that such a change could happen
In front of their eyes.

That is a gift that somehow,
Despite him never appearing to give it
And obviously not acting as if he has
(Although I am not obvious why I did),
I was able to give that gift
Without his consent,
And certainly without his help;
And that is somehow something I gave him
Despite my hatred for him
And my firm belief that, no matter how far
He takes his own existence,
He will never meet that match
With any fervor,
While I have met it through accident, mercy, and begging
And the horrible revelation of wasted life.

I don't know if that makes me pity him
When he doesn't have that Same
Luscious gift to give,
When his life is seemingly complete
And mine is definitely improving.