Exam rules are utter nonsense

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Robert's experience with exam rules and regulations.

 Robert had been training for this day for years. After leaving his phone, his wallet and a picture of his beloved St Bernards dog at the door, he went through the metal detector section, where they told him
there was too much iron in his blood and that normally they shouldn't let him in, but using his charm and a lot of begging, he got them to make an exception just this time. After that, he moved to the next section of the check where he was sensually and slowly patted down 5 times by a man who kept moaning and saying "You're not a bad boy, right? You're not planning on cheating today, right?". After that legally ambiguous section of the check, he finally made it in the classroom, sat down on his chair and waited. About 3 minutes in, a professor came up to him and told him to close his legs to prevent signaling the answers to others via genital wiggles, and also told him his pen had to be blue or black becuse the test corrector is highly autistic and red ink drives him into a berserk state, in which he commits murders and listens to Coldplay. Afterwards, the professor handed to Robert a paper full of instructions regarding the test and left. One of the instructions was "don't breathe too loudly". Suddenly, Robert heard a deep, robotic voice from the back of the classroom say "Aww man". It was of course Darth Vader, who left the classroom disappointed. After about 5 minutes, the test arrived and Robert filled out his name, last name, favorite food and virginity loss date, completed the test and folded his solution sheet in an origami swan shape, as the instruction sheet demanded. Finally, he left the classroom and as he glanced at his desk while retrieving his belongings, the man who patted him down was sniffing his chair, for cheating juice Robert told himself. 2 months later, the results arrived for his test and he failed it, because he broke the "no comic sans font handwriting" while taking the test. He put his head in the toilet until the bubbles stopped coming up and as his soul exited his body, he realized what a load of gabage exam rules are.


Submitted: June 21, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Jimrous. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Meaghan Kalena

This was way too funny. It actually reminded me of the type of stories I used to write as a child. Wacky, funny, and totally zany!

Tue, June 22nd, 2021 2:11am

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