The Prince and The Dog Whisperer

“That’s impossible!” Ivandog shouted at Bert. “I could have sworn that I buried that bone right here and now it’s gone!” “Maybe you buried it under the tree sire?” Bert replied. “Not now Bert I’m trying to find my bone. Wait a minute, what If I buried it under the tree!” Bert rolled his eyes but smiled “What an excellent thought sire.” Just as Ivandog started to head towards the tree he heard John yelling for him from the castle. “Of all the times to call a dog.” Ivandog mumbled. “Come on Bert let’s see what’s going on.” Ivandog got on all fours and ran up the hill; Bert followed but at a much slower pace. “Ivan!” John shouted. Ivandog ran up to John with a smile on his face and his tail wagging faster than ever. Bert sat down and sniffed the ground. “Come on boy we have a surprise for you!” John shouted. Ivandog followed the prince into the throne room where his father and mother were sitting as well. Ivan sat next to his parents and watched John sit with his family. Bert followed and sat down next to Ivandog. “I wonder what it could be.” Ivandog thought. “Maybe it's a new toy to play with or maybe it’s a new brand of treats, or maybe I’m going to get some bacon!!” Ivandog’s mouth watered at the thought of bacon and treats. Suddenly a tall Australian man stepped into the room. He wore a green shirt and had a weird hairdo he also wore cakey pants and brown shoes. “Is this the surprise, a man wearing strange clothing?” Ivandog whispered to this father. “I don’t know but whatever it seems rather strange.” He replied.  The man walked up to the human king, queen prince, and princess, and bowed. “Good morning your majesties I am Christopher but you can call me Chris. I have come all this way from me home country of Queensland, Australia, I heard that you have some dogs in this castle is that right?” The royal family nodded in agreement but had looks of confusion on their faces. “My specialty is talking to dogs I can understand everything they're saying and translate it for yah.” Both royal families look confused. “You can talk to dogs?” the King said while chuckling. “We hired you because we thought you were some sort of comedian, not a dog whisperer. Do you expect me to believe that you can talk to dogs?” The King laughed and so did the rest of his family. “I’ll prove it to yah.” Chris said. He walked over towards the royal canines and looked them over one by one. “How about you start with Fredrick I’ve always wondered what he has to say about me!” the king said sarcastically. “Alright, I’ll start with him.” Chris replied. Chris walked over to the large German Shepard almost intimated by his size. “Wow, he’s rather big.” Chris said. “Yes. He’s currently the largest of his breed.” the king replied. Chris sat down next to the massive dog that towered over him. “Go ahead dog bark for me.” he said. Ivandog, Emily, and Bert all lightly chuckled. Fredrick barked three times and licked his lips. “This should be a good one.” he thought. “So what did he say?” the king asked jokingly. “He said that you are a wonderful owner and he appreciates all that you do for him.” “Really?” the king said in shock. “That’s not even close to what he said!!” Ivandog whispered to Bert. “Father just said some rather colorful words that even I’m not allowed to say.” “I know.” Bert replied. “This man tis crazy sire.” Ivandog nodded his head and couldn’t believe that the humans were buying it. The king turned to look at his faithful companion and patted him on the head. “Did you say that Fredrick you silly old dog?” Fredrick looked over at his family and nodded his head. “Father wants us to play along.” Ivandog whispered to his mother and Bert. Fredrick barked again with a wide grin on his face. “Wow, I think he might be able to understand dogs.” The royal family looked astonished and started demanding that Chris translate for the other dogs. Ivandog, Emily, and Bert all started barking and played along with whatever Chris had said. “Bravo, Bravo!!” John shouted. “I never knew that someone could understand dogs!!” Chris bowed as the royal family clapped amazed by his “gift”. “Humans are so gullible.” Fredrick whispered as he sat down next to Emily. “Well Mr. Christopher seeing how you made not only me but our entire family happy we might be willing to hire you full time!!” the king said with happiness in his voice. “As long as you’re willing to translate for our dogs.” Fredrick couldn’t believe it. “I knew that our owners were gullible but, I never thought they would be this gullible!” he thought. Fredrick looked at his family and they looked back at him. “Really mate, you would be willing to hire me to translate for your dogs?” Chris replied. “Why of course, you have proven to us that you can accurately understand them.” The king answered. Chris jumped for joy and smiled at the royal pooches. “Well, you highnesses I best get ready for tomorrow you can just call me your royal doggo translator.” The human royal family clapped again with smiles on their faces. “How was this a surprise it was just a random crazy man who is trying to rip our owners off?” Ivandog whispered to Fredrick. “Don’t worry son it’s just probably a bad joke that will die down within a few days…hopefully.” Fredrick whispered nervously. The next morning Ivandog woke up on the end of John’s bed and stretched. After a long night of being stuffed with food, it felt good for him to finally rest but, now that it was morning he was eager to start the day. Ivandog jumped down from the bed nearly face planting into the carpet. He walked out of the room and headed outdoors to the lawn. Once he was out of sight he stood up on two legs and walked across the lawn. Bert had placed large posters for him on the trees and Ivandog was pretending to attack them with his wooden sword. “Take that you fowl fiends!!” he shouted.  The prince continued to pretend to fight the enemies on the posters and even hit a few of them with his “mighty” sword. “Excellent sire!” Bert shouted. Suddenly, Ivandog heard footsteps and quickly threw his sword into the bushes and sat down. John had just come around the corner looking for him. “There you are, boy!” John shouted.  “What are you doing with those posters on the trees?” Ivan ran up and knocked over John. Bert came behind him and started licking his face. “Silly dogs get off of me!!” John shouted while laughing. “You know I was thinking what about playing a game of Frisbee!” Ivandog jumped for joy in an attempt to distract John from the posters on the tree. “Come on let’s go!!” John shouted. Ivandog started following behind him but looked at Bert and winked. Bert quickly tore down the large posters and carried Ivandog’s sword back to the castle. Once Ivandog followed John into the middle of the lawn, he noticed that there was another human there. It was… Chris!! “Oh no not him again.” Ivandog thought. “Hey boy, I invited Chris here so he can translate for me!” John said with excitement. Ivandog barked and growled then he quickly ran towards John. “You know John I think Ivan just doesn’t want to play fetch.”  Chris said. “Really?” John replied. “Yeah, he just said that he thought this game was stupid and overhyped.” “I never said that I love fetch!!” Ivandog thought. “Is that true boy do you not want to play fetch?” the prince asked. Just as Ivandog tried to reassure John that he enjoyed the game, Chris slightly stepped on his tail which made him growl and bark even louder. “See your highness, Ivan is tired of playing repetitive games like fetch he instead would like to go for a swim.” John looked at Ivan with a look of sadness on his face. “It’s alright pal we could go for a swim.” “No, I hate swimming!!” Ivandog thought. “I can barely even doggy paddle!!”  John grabbed Ivandog by the collar and led him towards the outdoor pool in their yard. Bert watched as Ivandog was taken down to the pool and noticed that Chris had a smirk on his face. “What could he be up to?” he thought. Bert saw Chris walk back into the castle and followed him. In one of the more decorative rooms, the King was watching the television to catch up on some more recent news. Fredrick was lying down in his bed and watched Richard converse with the butlers while he flipped through the channels. Fredrick eventually stood up and walked over to his loyal owner. Fredrick sat down next to the couch he was sitting on and watched the news along with him. “Interesting isn’t it Fredrick.” Fredrick nodded his head and yawned.  Bert watched as Chris walked into the room and started having a conversation with the king all while Fredrick looked at him rather confused about what was going on. Suddenly, Chris poked Fredrick in the eye with his fingers behind his back and he let out a thunderous bark. The king jumped in shock at hearing his companion let out such a beastly noise. “What happened?”  The king asked. “Oh, nothing Fredrick just said that he wants to be left alone and that he’s tired of hearing your annoying voice.” “Why how rude… is that true Fredrick?” Before Fredrick could show his owner that he meant no harm Chris told the king that there was a flock of birds flying outside the window so he looked outside. Chris quickly pulled one of Fredrick’s ears which caused him to growl and bare his teeth. When the king turned around he saw Fredrick looking at Chris, teeth bore. “Fredrick!” He shouted. “How dare you behave this way; bad dog!” Fredrick lowered his head but slightly looked up at Chris. Chris smirked once again but Fredrick just whimpered. “Aren’t you lucky to have such an intelligent dog whisperer around?” Chris said. “Oh yes indeed, it’s rather odd for Fredrick to behave that way I wonder what’s gotten into him?” the king replied. Fredrick barked a couple more times at Chris. “What’s he saying?” Richard asked. “He said that he hates that you’re trying to control him and he wants you to stop oppressing him.” “That’s not at all what he said.” Bert thought.  Richard continued to scold Fredrick and even grabbed him by the collar and dragged him outside of the room and slammed the door. “I apologize for Fredrick’s behavior he usually only acts like this around his brother.” “No worries mate, sometimes dogs can be rather moody and it’s great to have someone around to reassure yah of when a dog might become aggressive.” Chris replied. Bert couldn’t believe what he had just seen. The Mighty Stud had just been kicked out of a room and Chris was to blame. Bert wondered why Chris was telling all these lies about dog translations “I have to get to the bottom of this.” Bert whispered. Just as Bert started to leave the room Chris grabbed him by the collar. “Where do you think you’re going, little fella!” Bert whimpered and shook like a freezing little bird.  One of the castle’s maids noticed what he was doing and had a confused and worrisome look on her face. “Hello, there mam don’t mind me just letting this little fella outside.” Chris lightly put down Bert and stroked him on the head. “You best be on your way little fella you wouldn’t want to get hurt.” Chris said in a rather suspicious voice. Bert stared briefly at Chris but quickly dashed towards the pool. “I’ve got to tell sire what I saw!” he thought. As Bert got closer to the pool he saw Ivandog running towards him soaking wet. Bert stopped in his tracks before he ran into the soaked prince. “Where you were Bertie I almost drowned!!” “I apologize sire but, I noticed that Chris was behaving rather suspiciously.” Bert replied.  Just before the prince could respond John ran up the hill. “There you are boy, oh and I see you found Bert! Maybe he would like to come for a swim as well.” Bert shook his head and backed away while Ivandog did the same. “Come on pal we were on the shallow side of the pool so, it’s not like you were going to drown plus, Chris said that you wanted to go for a swim.” Ivandog shook his pelt and walked right up to John; he then proceeded to give him the puppy dog eyes. “Oh well… you do smell like a wet dog maybe I should dry you off and take you back in how does that sound pal?” Ivandog jumped for joy and followed John up the hill. Once they arrived back at the castle John dried Ivan off and dressed him back up. “There you go buddy... no more stinky wet dog smell huh?” Ivandog licked John on his face and followed him to his bedroom. Once John started to check out what was on T.V. Ivandog left the room and headed for the kitchen. He watched as all of the royal chefs prepared delicious food that according to his father was for “people only”. Despite what his father had said Ivan’s mouth started to water at the smell of hamburgers and steak. His stomach also started to growl as he watched the hotdogs be grilled to absolute perfection. Before Ivan could go in and get a piece of the action Chris picked him up and placed him on the rug in the dining room. “Geez, pal you might want to cut back on the treats your quite the heavy little pup.”  Ivandog barked loudly upset that he missed out on a delicious feast. “Relax pal your owners will be down for lunch any second now.” Chris said angrily. Ivandog growled and sat next to his food bowl. He watched as Chris left the room and briefly heard him mumbled the words “stupid mutt” under his breath. Ivandog sat patiently as he watched his mother and father enter the room. They both looked equally miserable. As the human royal family sat down for lunch the dogs were given their usual meals. Gourmet dog kibble mixed with turkey, steak, chicken, and a bit of vegetables. Once the humans started to eat so did the dogs but, Ivandog was still intrigued by the magical scent of his owner’s food.  Ivandog looked around scanned his environment to make sure that neither his parents nor Chris was watching him. He quickly but quietly sneaked underneath the dining table waited for the food to drop on the ground. “I know that most common house dogs do this but, as long as I get food it’s worth it!” he thought. Ivandog continued to wait until he saw John’s hand lowering a large red meatball underneath the table. Ivandog grabbed it out of his hand and started to devour it. “Mmm… so delicious.” He thought.  As Bert entered the room, he noticed that Ivandog was underneath the table. Being a much smaller dog he quickly crawled under the table and saw the prince finishing a meatball. “Oh, sire you should get out of here!” Bert whispered. “Don’t worry about it Bertie and try your best to stay quiet Chris could be”. Before Ivandog could even finish his sentence Chris pulled the puppy from underneath the table. “Well, what do we have here?” Chris said in a sarcastic voice. The royal family saw their plump yellow dog with tomato sauce stained all over his face. “John!!” the queen shouted. “I thought I told you not to feed the dogs from underneath the table you know Ivan’s on a diet!” “I know mom but, I didn’t hand him the meatball he just kind of stole it from me!!” John replied. “Well there’s only one way to settle this, Mr. Christopher could you see what Ivan has to say about this?” the queen asked. “Why of course your majesty it would be my pleasure.” Chris replied. Chris looked at Ivan and slightly kicked him. He barked a couple of times at Chris and continued to growl. “He said that he tried to eat every single meatball before it was even served today.” “What!!” the royal family shouted. The princess started to gag. “You mean to tell me that the very meatball I’m eating was in a dog’s mouth!!” the queen shouted in disgust. “Well according to Ivan yes.” Chris replied. The royal family stood up and all went into separate directions. The princess and queen went to the bathroom while the king and prince threw their meatballs away. “I NEVER did that!!” Ivandog thought. “He’s lying, he’s lying!!” Ivandog saw his parents looking at him from the other room they looked angry and disappointed. Ivandog tucked his tail between his legs and lowered his head. John walked over to him and grabbed him by the collar leading him towards another room. Bert followed after him. John led Ivandog to his room; there he wiped the sauce off of his face and told him to stay put. John then proceeded to lock the door. Ivandog scratched and whimpered at the door until John came back t and told him that his father wanted him to be kept in his room until lunch was over. Ivandog lied down on a rug in the room and covered his face with his paws. Bert stood outside the door and attempted to communicate with him. “Sire don’t worry it’s going to be okay.” When he didn’t get a response he knew that the prince was deeply upset. The prince was almost always upset when he was hungry. “Aright Chris you have gone too far! It’s time I try to expose you for the phony you are.” Bert mumbled. “Don’t worry sire I’ll prove your innocence!!” Bert ran as fast as his little legs could take him. He heard Ivandog’s parents having a quiet conversation. “Do you think we should go check on him?” Emily asked Fredrick. “No dear,” he replied. “As a growing dog he should know that he isn’t allowed to search for food underneath the table not only is it a sign of disrespect but he knows that he is on a diet. Not to mention they didn’t say he couldn’t eat lunch, they just didn’t want him in the room until they finished.” Emily looked at the supposed “dog whisperer” as he sat down at the table eating lunch with the royal family. “He’s up to something,” she whispered. “You and I both know that he has been creating false translations that the humans believe.” Fredrick continued to eat his food but thought about what his mate had said. “You know I got kicked out of the living room today.” Emily almost spit the food out of her mouth. “Seriously you never get kicked out of a room!” “Chris made it seem like I was irritated by Richard he even pulled my ear and poked me in the eye!” Fredrick whispered to Emily. “You know I was lying down on Laura’s bed today and Chris grabbed me by the tail!! Once I barked at him a couple of times he told her that I had said that she needed to throw away that hideous dress!” The two dogs stared at each other and then looked at Chris. “Do you think we should tell the council about this?” Fredrick whispered. “No Fredrick, we most specifically you, got us into this mess and now we have to get out of it.” Fredrick was surprised that he was being blamed for this but when thought about it, he did realize that he was responsible for the whole incident. “I shouldn’t have played along and I shouldn’t have told you and Ivandog to do so either.” Emily licked Fredrick on the cheek but they both noticed that Bert was heading towards Chris. Bert ran over to Chris and wagged his tail. “Hello, there little fella?” Chris said curiously. “Is this dog a member of the royal family?” “No,” John replied. “That’s just Bert, he and Ivandog just like to hang out.” Chris picked Bert up and held him in his arms. Bert gave Chris a slobbery wet lick on the face. “Oh, eww!” Chris shouted.  The royal family looked confused at him. “I mean… hello there little puppy how are you.” Bert continued to lick Chris and even snatched a piece of chicken out of his hand. “Hey!!” Chris shouted. Bert scurried off with the chicken wing in his mouth and Chris gave chase. Fredrick and Emily also pursued after them. Bert ran into the library and started climbing on the top of the shelves. Chris tried to climb the shelves in an attempt to get his poultry back from the pesky dachshund. Bert eventually climbed down and ran through the hall. “Give me back my chicken you stupid dog!!” Chris shouted. Just as Chris started to come to a halt he noticed that Emily and Fredrick were right behind him. Chris chuckled and started to back away. “Good doggies, good doggies!” he shouted. Chris started to run down the hall and eventually wound up back in the dining area. “Talk to them!!” the Queen shouted. “Tell them to stop chasing you.” Chris barked a couple of times but the dogs continued to chase after him. Once Chris tripped Fredrick pounced on him and growled. Emily was standing right next to him and Bert sat down with the chicken wing still in his possession. “Get off of me you mangy slobbering beasts!!” he shouted. Richard stood up and whistled as loud as he could. Fredrick ran over to his owner and sat down. Chris got up off the floor and snatched the chicken wing out of Bert’s mouth. Now it was all covered in dog slobber and it smelled horrible. “Thanks a lot, you little sausage you ruined my lunch!!” Chris shouted. Richard and his family walked over towards the so-called “dog whisperer”. Chris gulped and smiled. “So, if you could truly talk to dogs wouldn’t you be able to tell them not to chase you?” “Well uh, I guess I couldn’t hear what they were saying.” Chris lied. The royal families looked at each other and then back at Chris. “Fine, I admit it!!” Chris said. “I can’t talk to dogs I was just pretending like I could so that I could keep getting that sweet paycheck. I can’t stand dogs; I’m much more of a cat person.” Well Mr. Christopher I think it might be time for you to go. Fredrick will escort you out.” Richard said sternly. Fredric growled and chased him out of the castle until the royal guards dragged him out. “Fredrick, Emily we are all very sorry.” Richard said. “We did have a feeling that he was a fake but, I guess we were wrong.” Fredrick and Emily smiled and licked their owners. John and Katie came from around the corner hugging Ivandog with all their might. “We are so sorry buddy!”  Ivandog wagged his tail and accepted a much-needed apology.  “I can’t believe we threw out all those meatballs for nothing!” John said to Katie. Ivandog looked over at Bert who was sitting down on the dining room rug. He ran over to him and sat beside him. “You know for a squire you did pretty well and I just wanted to uhh…thank you.” Bert smiled at the prince and wagged his tail with glee. John and Katie both ran over to the dogs and hugged them both. “You put on quite a show didn’t you Bert!” John said. Bert licked the young prince and jumped around. “Well now that we dealt with that who would like to finish lunch in peace?” Richard asked. Everyone looked at each other and smiled. Later on in the day, Ivandog continued to practice sword fighting. “You know Bert I learned a very valuable lesson today.” The prince exclaimed. “And what is that sire?” “I learned that whenever Prince John calls you for a surprise don’t expect anything even remotely exciting.” Bert chuckled. “Me to sire, me too.”