Can You See It Now?

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


This has been the first Monday of the week.  Tomorrow will be the second one.  The fourth came on Sunday this year.  Like a person with a social life, I invited friends over to watch all the celebrations on TV.
 
One guy showed up whom I had never met.  He was a friend of a guy I did invite.  He came through the door as he was explaining that our mutual friend was spending the day with his kids and grandkids.  This was an interesting little man.  He had the thickest glasses I ever saw.  It did not help much.  He screamed when he saw Oscar and told me there was a rabbit in the house.
 
"I have snacks on a tray in the bedroom."  I should have taken him by the hand instead of pointing.  I thought he had following my pointing finger.  He ended up in the laundry room trying to find the door.  When he got to the hot-water heater he yelled, "Ouch."  He turned around and opened the other door and found himself in the bedroom.
 
"Crazy layout of your house lady."  He saw chairs set up with a snack tray on each one.  "You got anything to drink?"  He said as he found the chair he wanted and sat down.
 
I am thinking this man has not yet told me who he is or anything other than the fact that he knows my friend.  "What do you want to drink?"  I was standing in the doorway towards the kitchen (the one I thought I was pointing at before he went into the laundry room).  I watched this guy pick through the snacks.  He would try one and spit it back out.  I had paper towels laid out as napkins.  He finally found the snack he liked and popped it into his mouth.
 
"I love Newtons."  He said as he proceeded to take the Newtons off the other trays and put them on his tray.  "I like beer or wine.  Whichever you got."
 
"I have water, fruit juice, orange juice, two percent milk, coffee, or tea.  Take your pick."  I stood there in awe of what I was watching.  I had my tray set up right next to the bed so quickly snatched my Newtons and hid them under a pillow.  "I do not have a drop of liquor in the house,"  I said as I laid my glasses down on the end table and proceeded into the kitchen.
 
"Are you one of those tea toddlers?  I hate that.  They should have told me you were one of those.  Don't bother to get me anything, I am going home and get me a beer.  You are on your own."  With that, he walked past me in the kitchen and headed to the front door.  He was out the door without another word.
 
"Yeah! I said to myself.  One of my helpers pulled up and came running into the house.
 
"Jane, you got any juices or something.  I got all the preparations for our cookout and forgot to get any juices.  My sister does not allow her kids to drink soft drinks."
 
"Sure, I will put some in a sack for you, if you will go in the bedroom and straighten up a bit.  I had a guest who made a mess in there."
 
"Be happy to."  My helper headed for the bedroom as I got his request sacked up for him.  He came darting through the room a few minutes later, grabbed the sack out of my hands, and darted out the door.  I decided I was tired from all the prep work and all.  I was going to take a nap.  I did not pay attention to any changes as I stretched out on the bed and promptly fell asleep.
 
When I woke up, I picked up my glasses off the nightstand.  I remembered the Newton I put under the pillow... It was gone.  I looked around for the remote.  I picked it up and pushed the button.  The same person was on all the channels.  I decided it must be something political.  Everything is political nowadays.  Then I decided the remote may not be changing the channels.  I opened the drawer on the nightstand and put new batteries in the remote.  I tested my thought about the channels.  No, the same idiot was on all the channels.  I did not know who she was but she sure had a lot to say.  I could not get the volume up to find out who she was.  Frustration made me push the button on the TV to try and turn it off.  It would not turn off.  Frustration had turned to aggravation.  I then realized my helper had moved the TV.  Why had he done that?  I could not figure that out.  I finally got up to move it back where it was.
 
I started laughing so hard I almost lost my balance.  I took off my glasses and looked at them.  I had on the Son of a Siberian Sea Cook's glasses.  I had been looking into my mirror and trying to change the channel.  Nothing had been moved, the TV was still where it was supposed to be.  I was in the wrong chair as well.  I thought a minute, that means that nasty, ill-mannered little man had my glasses on.  I wonder why he did that?  Then it dawned on me that all the cookie-type snacks were gone.  Everything with nuts in it was scattered all over the tables.  The paper towels were gone.
 
The phone rang.  I was still laughing when I answered it.  "Jane, do you have my father's glasses?  He came home and went straight to the refrigerator and drank a whole thing of the breast milk I had set up for the baby.  He also came home with his shirt full of cookies.  Just tell me you have his glasses.  He is running into things.  He just started yelling when he walked into the shower.  He could not get out."
 
"Tell your sweet husband to come and get them. I would also ask that you return mine."
 
"Did you have a good fourth of July?"  She asked.
 
"What I could see of it."  That was my only reply.  I don't think she needs to know about the TV thing... Do you?


Submitted: July 06, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Texasjane. All rights reserved.

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