Chapter 21: Poltergeist

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 178
Comments: 3

 

The ghost began to wander as the streets of that metro went alive with people. Entering its favorite cafe, it sat near the counter. Few customers were there. A waiter served a cup of hot coffee to a customer. He slowly picked up the cup, and sipped a bit. Within a moment, he spat it out on the floor.

“What the hell?! Is this a coffee? It’s salty,” he complained.

“Get out. No need to come here. How dare you complain about our food?” The waiter rudely pulled him up by the arm.

“What?! Is this any way to treat a customer?... I’m not gonna pay,” the customer protested.

You have to pay, and I'm gonna make sure of that.” The waiter dragged him to the cashier. The ghost got up, went near that rude waiter, and spanked his butt. Yelping in shock, he looked around in anger. The next thing he saw was the same cup of hot coffee, smashing into his face. As it began burning his face, he ran towards the wash basin crying, just to bang into a pillar, and fell on the floor squirming.

This will keep you cool enough for a few days, idiot. The ghost flew out. It wandered through some shops looking at brand new goods, stood at a bus stand watching people boarding buses, and lay down in the passenger seat of an auto rickshaw, listening to its favorite song.

Then, it remembered the school nearby. In a few minutes, it was inside the school compound. Children were playing in the playground. While wandering through the corridors, it heard a child crying as it went past a classroom.

“C’mon dumbo Dinesh. Give me your geometry box. I want it.” A bully had held the collar of a crying wimpy kid.

“Sorry, I can’t. My parents will scold me. Let me go, Pavan.” Dinesh begged.

“You piece of…” Pavan was about to punch, when a fiendish shape appeared above  Dinesh’s head. It glared at him with a vicious smile. Seeing that, Pavan’s face turned pale. Leaving Dinesh’s shirt collar, he took a few steps back.

“Boo!” The ghost scared him, and Pavan screamed loudly, falling down. Dinesh was looking at him in shock.

“What’s happening here?” A teacher appeared. She looked at Dinesh, and then Pavan, crying on the floor. As she came near Pavan to help him up, she was shocked to see Pavan’s wet pants. A small pool of urine was formed beneath Pavan.

“You idiot! Are you a little kid? Who’s gonna clean your mess now? Come to the principal’s chamber now.” While beating him, she dragged him out of the classroom. The ghost laughed and left.

There was a lake next to the school. The ghost went there, and sat on the shore for an hour. Let me see what movie they’re showing today. thinking, it went to a nearby movie theatre.

As the ghost entered, it saw lots of people waiting in queues. It went near the screen displaying the schedule, and was happy to find its favorite actor’s movie.

As the ghost was floating through queues, something stopped it. A pervert was trying to touch a girl from behind, while she was trying to avoid him haplessly.

The ghost thought for a while, then went near the pervert. When he tried again to touch her butt, the ghost pushed his hand. The next moment, the pervert’s hand was on the butt of an old lady, who was standing in front of the hapless girl. Everyone was in shock, including the pervert. The old lady hit him with her purse.

“You shameless pig! How dare you? Didn’t your parents teach you to respect ladies?” As the old lady continued to beat him, others joined her. The security hardly rescued him from the mob, and handed him over to the police.

The ghost enjoyed the movie, sitting in the middle of the aisle. When it came out, it was evening. The sun was getting ready to set. It went to the nearby park, and sat there on a bench, watching the children play.

A man came near the bench, and took out a cigarette pack. Though smoking was prohibited there, he put one in his mouth. When he was about to light it, a kid came, and told him not to smoke. Threatening the kid, he shooed him away. He took a lighter out from his pocket, and was about to light the cigarette, but it went out. Same happened, when he tried again and again. Irritated, he started cursing.

“Sir, you can’t smoke here. This is a public area. If you wanna smoke, please go out.” A lady security guard warned him while approaching, accompanied by the same kid.

“What?! Do you know who I am? I’m a close friend of the MLA Fernandes. I can get you fired. BEHAVE PROPERLY!” She was in shock, but the next moment, turned to the other side, giggling in embarrassment. The kid laughed too.

“What the?!... YOU IDIOT! How dare you! I’ll show you who I am.” His hand reached down to his trouser pocket to pick his mobile. Shocked, he looked down to find his trousers around his ankles. He immediately pulled them up, while looking around, feeling a mix of both anger and embarrassment.

“Pratik, some guy was trying to smoke in the children’s play area. He threatened me when I warned him. Now, he is behaving obscenely. Send help.” She called her colleague.

A bunch of security guards came there within a few minutes, and held him down as he resisted. Later, they handed him over to the police. The ghost was literally rolling over the ground laughing. It stayed there, till the sun set. Then it disappeared.


Submitted: November 08, 2021

© Copyright 2022 Poetshri. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Genzu4750

I get the sense that the events that happen are purposefully out of proportion, such as the customer spitting the coffee out on the floor and being comedically abused by the ghost, which I found pretty funny. I thought that the events and orders of humans are so blown out of proportion because to a ghost it would all seem so small and silly.
I will say that you should be a little bit more careful about the way that you abbreviate words.
Such as the man in the cinema 'who I'm'. This is incorrect. I can't tell you why or how, but as someone who is critical when it comes to English, I can indeed say that it doesn't work. Whilst 'I am' does work.
Also, whilst 'you've pay' isn't wrong, it doesn't read as smoothly as 'you have'.
So, maybe keep the abbreviations to a minimum?
I will also say that the actions transition not as smoothly as they could otherwise, I would suggest keeping things simple. I was very upset from the start, especially with 'The ghost began to wander as the streets of that metro went alive with people.'
This should have been something more like 'The ghost began to wander as the streets of the metro became crowded with people and drowned with noise.' to engage the reader that tiny bit more.


###please clarify to me what the intent, if any, was behind the ghost disappearing at dawn? As I didn't fully grasp that, thank you####

Mon, November 15th, 2021 4:57pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for your valuable comment. Yes, I'm trying to rectify the problems with the abbreviation. The customer incident that comes in this story really happened six years ago. I was one of the witnesses. I was shocked when I saw that happening. I will look at the actions transition. You are right about the 'The ghost began to wander as the streets of the metro became crowded with people and drowned with noise.' Thank you for that. The ghost disappeared at sunset, to its place.

Mon, November 15th, 2021 9:22am

Jonathan E. Lee

I just thought I'd share some (hopefully clarifying) thoughts on Genzu's comments from someone with an amateur interest in linguistics...

It should be either "You've yet to pay" or "You have to pay." In the former case the implied "have" in the contraction "You've" is a simple helping verb. In the latter case it is a demand changing the entire semantic of the sentence to that of an imperative statement rather than a declarative one (i.e. the latter is equivalent to "You must pay" whereas the former is simply an observation that "You haven't paid yet.")

"You've to pay" is ultimately the same kind of problem as "who I'm." The problem is that contractions are strictly only used when the verb being contracted is either a helping verb or a simple copula.

Fun random aside: Sometimes people unfamiliar with the conventions of AAVE assume that "be" is used as a catch-all state-of-being verb replacing "is," "are," and the like. In reality it is used in the habitual present in tandem with a participle. So "He be walking every day" would be expressed in Standard American English as "He walks every day" rather than "He is walking every day." By contrast, simple copulas are simply omitted so that "He is the mayor" would be simplified to "He the mayor." (Omitting copulas where the context is obvious is a convention in a number of non-English languages.)

I point out the above because a simple statement like "It is" would be expressed precisely the same in AAVE as in Standard American English. If you asked an AAVE speaker "Is this it?" they wouldn't simply answer "It" nor would they say "It be." Only "It is" would be appropriate amongst these choices. And this is the same reason why "who I'm" is so jarring. That reason is that "is"--like the "am" in "I'm"--is not a simple copula but is standing on its own as a state-of-being verb at the end of the clause.

In your specific sentence "I'll show you who I'm" the "am" is its own intrinsic semantic point--an emphatic one at that in this particular case. The "am" is not merely linking the "I" to some other clause. You can see this if you try to change the syntax. "I'll show you I'm who" might be one technically correct in terms of common convention--if a little awkward and would probably still need 'who' in quotes--but it would change the entire meaning of the statement to one of mere identity rather than qualitative nature. What is intended to be shown is not "who" amongst others is the one in question, but rather what is the quality of the one in question that makes up that one's existence--the kind of person said person *is*.

Just in case I've muddied the waters too much at this point, just keep this rule of thumb in mind: If a verb that could be potentially contracted comes at the end of a clause or sentence then it shouldn't be contracted. Contractions should always have a word following them in the same clause. "I am who I am" can be expressed "I'm who I am" but not "I am who I'm."

Fri, November 19th, 2021 4:30pm

Author
Reply

Wow! Thank you very much for your tips. Now I understood. This is for the first time I heard, "He be walking every day." Have you done English Major in graduation course? You have a thorough knowledge in English Language. The words you use are also of different level. I'm glad you're reviewing my works. Thank you again. :)

Fri, November 19th, 2021 9:28am

Jonathan E. Lee

I left some inline citations with some proofreading remarks. You might benefit from running your manuscript through LanguageTool here --> https://languagetool.org/

On the whole, I like the fact that this tale is another kind of karmic justice sort of tale where the ghost is basically using his power to turn the tables on rude and inconsiderate people. A more compelling ending might tighten up this tale, rather than the ghost simply "disappearing."

Why isn't this ghost around all the time? Perhaps these pranks were its way of finding peace and "moving on" or something? As it is, as amusing as the story is at times it all seems kind of random. To illustrate by contrast, the other ghost story about the minister whose family dies after he fails to help a family out on the road had a real point and some ironic symmetry to the tale as a whole. With something added to the end--and perhaps beginning as well--this could be tweaked into something as effective.

Mon, November 22nd, 2021 9:51pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for your valuable comment, Lee. :) I went through the citations. They were very helpful. Thank you for the link too. I will fix the beginning and the end part. Have a great day ahead. :)

Wed, November 24th, 2021 9:44am

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