Personal Narrative 2: Anger is Blinding

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic

Personal narrative about why anger is blinding.

Anger is Blinding

 

If you’ve ever been angry, congratulations - you’re just like everyone else. Anger is a basic emotion that you can’t avoid. If you’ve NEVER experienced anger, then you’re not human. Anger is inevitable, yet also blinding. You have to learn to control it or it will control you. If you have enough control over your anger, you may even be able to use it as a great motivator. What makes different people angry is different. It could be a pet peeve, like getting annoyed at people who correct your spelling, or it could be a serious issue, like global warming. Whatever makes you angry, you have to be resilient after it happens, just like I was.

The quiz was on a Monday, in my 6th-period math class. I joined confidently. This was an easy unit and I’d learned this before, in my extracurricular math class that I took. I would quickly finish the test, then my homework. I was feeling a little jittery when I joined the zoom, but that was normal. I started up the quiz and thought to myself, “This is easy! I’ll get 100% on this quiz!” Little did I know, I was wrong. I finished the test early, so I went back and reviewed it. I double, and even triple-checked all my answers, but I didn’t catch my one mistake. After class, I was feeling amazing. I “knew” that I’d aced the test and I was confident. Now, I had to wait for the test to be graded to know my score.

The following Friday, we got our quizzes back. I opened up the portal, ready to see “A+, 100%”. What I saw surprised me. I had gotten a “B+, 88%”. Now, I know that score is pretty good, but to me, it’s pretty bad. That was my first B of the year and my goal was to get all A’s. I had higher standards for myself. I looked through my test and saw my mistake. I had made a typo on one of the questions. I wrote it perfectly on paper, but my hand must have slipped while entering my answer into the system. 

This wasn’t fair! I was scared that my overall grade would drop, but I was also angry. I was angry at myself for not studying enough, and also for just doing poorly. I was angry at my teacher for giving me that score. I was so angry that I closed my computer and overlooked one VERY important detail - test corrections. The rule for test corrections was that we could correct our test and receive up to two questions worth of points back. That would have gotten me the 100% I wanted, but I hadn’t noticed because of my anger. I realized this later after the corrections were due. This, in turn, made me more angry and upset for missing out on that opportunity. 

Anger is a never-ending loop that you have to break out of. The way I left my anger loop was by talking to my parents or friends and studying. Talking helped me realize that making mistakes is okay, and studying helped remove the guilt of doing bad. I kept studying every day and I even helped my friends study. I asked my parents and teachers for help when I needed it. I used the anger that I had as motivation to try and do better in the next quiz. When it came, I was ready.

I joined the zoom confidently, just a little nervous. Again, on a Monday, in my 6th-period math class. This time, I took my time with each question and typed them up very carefully. I checked my answers a few times, and then I checked for typos. I still kept my standards high, but I didn’t tell myself that I had a guaranteed 100%.

When my grade came, I was ready for anything. If I got a B or lower, I would keep practicing and get better. If I got an A, then I would still keep practicing. I carefully opened up the portal and saw “A+, 100%”. I was overjoyed. Although I got a good grade, I didn’t stop practicing. I had to keep getting better so that this never happened again.

My anger blinded me. If I’d stayed calm, I would have gotten the test corrections in on time and gotten a good grade. Anger doesn’t just blind you from tests and the less important things in life, but also relationships. One example of this is Billy Beezer and John from the book You Don’t Know Me, by David Klass. 

On page 34, paragraph 1, this happened: “ We are both cowards, when it comes to that. So leave him alone. ‘I am not a coward,’ Billy Beezer responds… ‘I’m going to ask Gloria,’ Billy Beezer announces.” Then on page 35, paragraph 3, this happens: “ ‘I liked Gloria first,’ I say. ‘I talked about her to you first.’ ‘Tough eggs,’ Billy Beezer says as we step off the escalator.” When John called Billy a coward, he was fuming. Billy didn’t like being called names, so he became very angry. His anger blinded him from their friendship and he ended up trying to get revenge on John. In the end, he didn’t care about John and betrayed their friendship.

Another great example of this is from the same book. On page 7, paragraph 7, John says (thinks), “The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future. You don’t know me at all.” We later find out that he was talking to his mother at the time and he was angry at her for not knowing what her boyfriend was doing to him. Normally, he probably wouldn’t have said that. No one would, but he was so blinded with rage that he took it out on his family. Anger makes you do things that you wouldn’t think of doing with a clear mind.

Now, anger isn’t all bad. If you can learn how to control it, you can use it as a great motivator to be productive. That’s what I did after my first quiz. I used my anger as energy to take the time to study and read to get better. Speaking of reading, let’s get back to that bigger question. Why do we read? As I said in my previous essay, we read to learn and reflect. This is true, but we also read to feel emotion. A good writer can make a reader feel whatever they want. This includes anger. Reading about something and getting angry can help you to better understand the emotion, and when you get angry about something real, you can deal with it better.


Submitted: July 21, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Atiksh Paul. All rights reserved.

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