Life Goes On

Reads: 291  | Likes: 14  | Shelves: 3  | Comments: 13

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Review Chain

The Life Goes On .....................

Our lives are like,

this hot-air balloon

The only task it has,

is to carry on

 

When all the supplies,

are given with love

Life leads happily,

with no huffs and puffs

 

The rain comes and ruin,

all day long

So it cannot fly,

no matter; it holds

 

Through the hard times,

life goes on

Whenever it's sunny,

best to carry on

 

The giant hand shows,

our loved ones

Wait till our victory,

to giveaway their love

 

For the life's success,

key point is knowledge

The faraway castle,

geniuses they make

 

 

Fly through the darkness,

Fly through the life

Up there you'll find,

The desired light and shine


Submitted: August 31, 2021

© Copyright 2022 DiyaSL. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Ann Sepino

I love how you drew inspiration from the picture and created a poem with a meaningful message. Your imagination is amazing. Great job! :)

Tue, August 31st, 2021 12:10pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot Ann =D

Tue, August 31st, 2021 5:37am

Lucas Barstow

The metaphor of this piece is a good one, I can see how the inspiration came about with a hot air balloon that could rise or fall. The imagery of it is nice.
The last stanza is particularly impressive, you don’t just float through life like a balloon, you fly high with drive and achieve your dreams, finding the light. This fits in well with the far away castle which could symbolise a distant goal.
I like what you’ve done here and I’m not sure exactly how but I think the giant hand could be worked in better as a metaphor, maybe that the loved ones lend a hand or something.
Good work. Good luck. Keep going.

Tue, August 31st, 2021 12:49pm

Author
Reply

I was wondering about the giant hand too. Thank you for the idea. Should think about it :)

Anyhow, thank you for your compliment. I like to write inspirational poems a lot. It kind of inspire me too. Thanks a lot for taking time to read my poem.

-Good luck yourself !

Tue, August 31st, 2021 5:56am

Bert Broomberg

This is a wonderful poem again.

Tue, August 31st, 2021 1:56pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot for taking your time to read this Bert =)

Tue, August 31st, 2021 7:12am

Poetshri

Lovely poem. This poem is full of optimism. Actually, that is how a life should be lived even when the adversities pounce upon us. Nicely done. :)

Tue, August 31st, 2021 5:00pm

Author
Reply

Thank you poetshri =)

Tue, August 31st, 2021 11:17am

nikappuhamy

Another, wonderful poem D.. I really love this one..
Good luck with the contest!!

Wed, September 1st, 2021 2:17am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot Nishi =D

Tue, August 31st, 2021 7:54pm

G.P.Sharp

Another fun free-style poem, very well done! You definitely thrive on inspirational and uplifting poetry, so this prompt image was perfect for you! I loved your thematic word choice and imagery that encapsulated both your theme and setting, especially using repetition on "carrying on" and "fly through".
It's a bit difficult for me to find anything to criticize with this poem of yours, but I must concur with Lucas about the hand metaphor, it felt slightly out of place compared to the rest of your prose (though I understand its necessity, due to the prompt. A little change to the imagery of the hand and how it relates to the overall theme I think would greatly improve that stanza).
Other than that though, you worked in the balloon perfectly and you worked in the castle in a very interesting way I did not anticipate. Good luck with the contest!

Wed, September 1st, 2021 3:43am

Author
Reply

Thank you for the compliment. It really made me happy a lot. Even I, felt a little hard to imagine about the giant hand too. Anyways, I'm glad you liked it. I think my effort is not in vain.
-Thanks a lot for reading Sharp. Good luck yourself too =D

Tue, August 31st, 2021 9:49pm

Greythereadaholic

I love the theme of this poem, and how well you write the hot air balloon as a metaphor for life. It feels very hopeful, and all the imagery makes it beautiful. I noticed a couple grammatical errors where there was a plural noun rather than singular in lines 1 and 9, but that's nitpicky and really the only criticism I can find.

Good luck in the contest!

Mon, September 6th, 2021 8:42pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot for the criticism mixed compliment Grey :)
-Good luck yourself !

Mon, September 6th, 2021 6:45pm

nikappuhamy

This poem is wonderfully written.. Though each and every line doesn't rhyme, it has a nice flow.. I like the metaphor which you've used for the gigantic hand.. I saw you have repeated some word phrases, to give an impact on reader.. (I wanna tell you that I'm not very good at criticizing poems)
The way how you have used the castle as the main goal(In life) is beautiful.. I love the way how you have used just seven verses ti describe the picture given..
The message given by the poem is very meaningful.. Keep on writing stuff like this.. Everybody will love to read(specially me)..
Good luck with the contest!! (again) = )

Sun, September 12th, 2021 4:50pm

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot for the review Nishi :)

Sun, September 12th, 2021 7:14pm

Archia

Lovely poem about staying strong and to keep going on. I loved the imagery of the hot air balloon and it flying through the sky with the supplies full of love. I was a little confused by the line of the hand, but I do understand why you put it in. Still a lovely poem, and it had a very good message. The hot air balloon will hold up even when there are rain and challenges, and so can we.

Mon, September 13th, 2021 10:51am

Author
Reply

Yes of course. Thank you for organizing such fun contests and taking time to read my content =)

Mon, September 13th, 2021 9:56am

CM.N

I like it when you refer to life as a hot air ballon. Just like hot air ballon, life also have ups and downs, but we still need to carry on. I noticed you are very good at using metaphor. It is present in your other works and poems for exemple in Feel free (the birds) and Lovely flowers (flower have dresses). Great writing Diya.

Thu, September 16th, 2021 9:39am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot N. This comment means a lot to me :)

Thu, September 16th, 2021 5:17am

Reyanne Elisha

AMAZING!!!!!! I love how you used one single picture to explain your poem. Hats off......great work!

Mon, October 11th, 2021 7:56am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot =)

Mon, October 11th, 2021 3:49am

Mireena Cooray

Well done... a wonderful poem.keep writing

Fri, October 15th, 2021 11:36am

Author
Reply

Thank you Mireena :)

Fri, October 15th, 2021 8:45am

katy carol

Heyy!Loved your poem:))Its so great.Up top?

Sat, April 9th, 2022 7:18am

Author
Reply

Thanks a lot Katy

Sun, April 17th, 2022 3:13am

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