Unredeemable

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

taken from my book, "Beyond Free"

Unredeemable

-

It's most important that I get myself over you

Because I know with all my heart and soul

__that I just can't have you

Even if all 4 parts of my brain don't

I'll wake up

__with a smile on my face

Just knowing

__that it's my choice

____not to pursue you

On my own accord

'Cause I had my one shot

And blew it

Like a part of me

Just wanted to test you

And you failed

Maybe I gave him too much control

__over how we treat you

So my window closed

And I missed my shot

Whatever

I don't give a fuck

Now I have the freedom

__to not have to try anymore

With you

But is that really

__the freedom I wanted?

Maybe I was just scared

Maybe I was fiending for caffeine

__at the time

And it took too long

And it's just my fault

__that I put the coffee before you

I'll never get my change again

And I replay the mistake in my head

And all I can do

__is complain

When I know that it's all my fault

I will drag myself down the drain

And run myself into the ground

And run over myself

__with regret

____and self-resentment

Where ever this aftermath

__of my own stupid mistake takes me

I know my own self-hatred

__will always be present

"In the background"

Eating myself up inside me

With no way to make it up to you

And I have to eat the burn

And swallow my wrongs

And hold myself back from you

Like I am completely screwed

Nothing left to do

But give you your space

And let you rebuild

__your wall between us

____all over again

-

08-25-'21 #3

D. L. Cannon


Submitted: September 01, 2021

© Copyright 2021 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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