Foston Slacks - Time’s Flies

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Science Fiction

[Wattys 2021 Winner - Sci-Fi Category]

Clara only wanted to reach her interview on time.

Now she finds herself lost in time, space and reality with only an impeccably dressed six-foot tall lemur for company.

Dragged through Breaches to alternative realities, timelines, alien worlds and a filthy diner off the I95, all she wants is to return home. Preferably before tea-time.

Trigger Warnings: Severe shoe damage, references to drug taking (Bloody Linda!), oh, and minor foul language. Unsuitable for hydroelectric citizens of Vardak V (Citizens of Vardak IV and VI have shown no signs of explosive side-effects. So far). Gluten free.

Table of Contents


1   Clara peeled her face from the dribble encrusted pillow and felt her stomach turn. During the night she had kicked the c... Read Chapter


2   Clara looked around her. No-one else seemed to give the lemur so much as a second glance, which, she thought, was quite ... Read Chapter


3   Clara looked around, becoming used to the crack and smash of the lightning, although, more than once, the strikes hit fa... Read Chapter


4   The punt almost overturned as they landed upon it and a splash caused Clara to look around, trying to steady herself. Al... Read Chapter


5   Familiar, at least, in that the lemur seemed to know where he was.   “Aha!” Trying to stay upright in t... Read Chapter


6   “Excuse me, my dear, you’re dripping water on my shoes.” The woman with taut skin, make-up applied by a trowel, ha... Read Chapter


7   The Observation Deck wasn’t as windy as she expected, although most of the wind would find itself directed away by the... Read Chapter


8   It looked like a house. Not like any house she had ever lived in, or visited, or seen on tv. Except maybe one of those w... Read Chapter


9   The Kapakapururu pulled out all the stops. Finding a table and two chairs that could be placed on the floor, not the wal... Read Chapter


10   He was kidding. Again. No eyes of little, blue furry creatures were desecrated while eating her strangely excellent ali... Read Chapter


11   Foston sat on the wall, pressing the handkerchief to his nose, ignoring the giant man in a dirty vest screaming at him ... Read Chapter


12   Foston, troubled, worried, furtive and yet still full of swagger and out-of-place ego, strode with purpose through the ... Read Chapter


13   After blowing out the candle and suffering a kiss on each cheek, Clara felt she could no longer muster even a strained ... Read Chapter


14   Clara screamed again, much to the consternation of Foston. The tongue of the creature, whose mouth they currently occup... Read Chapter


15   Thirty-five miles seemed a long distance to travel in one go and Foston made, perhaps, the first good decision since th... Read Chapter


16   Schadenfreude. That was the name of the hotel and Clara wondered if it was a joke of some kind. She didn’t get it, if... Read Chapter


17   After eating the compulsory breakfast, watched by a keen eyed hotel staff member ensuring they ate every last crumb of ... Read Chapter


18   “What. The hell. Just happened?” Clara turned around walking backwards away from the traffic cones and that evil, e... Read Chapter


19   They left the café with the cliché waiter grumbling about them as he cleared away their table. They made solid progre... Read Chapter


20   This Clara, however, was taller. With a big shock of hair, wild make-up that Clara, the real Clara would never, ever we... Read Chapter


21   The ‘theme’ of The Corridor changed several times as they walked back towards their destination. Sometimes the chan... Read Chapter


22   Foston was almost running, stopping every now and then to wait impatiently for Clara to catch up as she tried, in confu... Read Chapter


23   Foston was almost running, stopping every now and then to wait impatiently for Clara to catch up as she tried, in confu... Read Chapter


**Please Note: Chapters 24 to 27, while incredibly exciting, inspirational and hilariously amusing, have been removed for brevity, or to add suspense. Something. Don’t worry. You haven’t missed
anything important.

Well, not much. Some. Some important things will be missed, but, hey-ho, life goes on.

End of Author’s Note**
Read Chapter


29   It wasn’t until Foston’s hand stopped her from moving forward, that she realised he must be keeping his eyes open t... Read Chapter


30   Foston entered in haphazard fashion, banging his elbow upon the doorframe, bumping into the sink and almost walking int... Read Chapter


31   Clara stared at Clara. Clara, however, glared at Clara. Foston admired the sparsity and brutalist stylings of the brig... Read Chapter


32   The bunk was considerably uncomfortable. Even more so as the ship continued to receive a battering from some unknown ou... Read Chapter


33   The robot hand padded around on the dining table like a spider. Or a crab. Or a robot hand. Either way, it creeped Clar... Read Chapter


34   Captain Clara slipped the chromium stilettos back onto her feet in that slinky way that some women took them off. Clara... Read Chapter


35   Opening the curtains on the French windows, Clara gripped her wine glass, steadying herself for the latest blow to her ... Read Chapter


36   The monster baby blew air bubbles against the glass of reception area door, coating it with a glob of dribble that tric... Read Chapter


37   “Well, I expected that to be a little more eventful.” Foston stepped out of the lift and the lights in the area fli... Read Chapter


38   Foston returned to browsing the files upon the computer, trying desperately to find out just how, in the multi-verse, h... Read Chapter


39   With much hissing, clunking and noises that sounded an awful lot like several large, grown men shifting something parti... Read Chapter


40   It was humanoid. That Clara was certain of. Or, at least, humanoid shaped, if a little fuzzy around the edges. And glow... Read Chapter


41   Time glared across the pristine white table, his cartoon eyes thin and squinting, his mouth a thin line with, what look... Read Chapter


42   There she was, attempting to catch a taxi, running through her contact list, taking out a contact card for what she tho... Read Chapter

Recent Comments


An entertaining YA science fiction novel in the vein of Alan Dean Foster.

Mon, September 13th, 2021 8:28am


Thank you so much! ??

Mon, September 13th, 2021 1:49am

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