Hamlet Gets Arrested

Reads: 327  | Likes: 4  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 2

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

when the police throw a party you do not know what to expect.

It all started, as it usually did with Hamlet being asked to appear at a function of some sort.  This was to be the retirement party for a police officer.  Still, this was special.
The entry to the party was that you had to kiss a pig.  It was all in good humor and the policemen involved all knew Hamlet was an entertainer and worked usually with nursing homes.
The officer who was retiring was also the proud owner of his own pot-bellied pig, named Daisy May.  Right.  We did not mention any of this to Idabell.  I just know she would have called off the wedding if she thought Hamlet was going to spend an afternoon with Daisy May.  On, second thought... she would have still done it for the wedding cake alone.  She was a very modern female.  Besides after the cake... who cares. 
Idabell was too lazy for Hamlet.  Once we were trying to train her to work with Hamlet on a "Pigs Fly" commercial.  She was supposed to be putting things into a suitcase and Hamlet was to sit on it and latch at the end of the commercial.  Instead, she got into the suitcase... Hamlet walked up, shut the lid and sat on the case, and squealed with sheer delight as she kept bumping him up and down trying to get back out.  She did not get the part.  All she had to do is see food and she just shut down until it was gone.
Back to Hamlet's party.  The place was some meeting hall the men had rented for the occasion.  The landlord wanted to meet Hamlet beforehand to make sure his building would not be damaged from any mishaps.  Hamlet was the little gentleman.  We also had to practice to see if Hamlet would let all those people kiss him.That was really an easy trick.  I put a little honey out so the officers could dip their fingers in it to put on their lips.  Hamlet kissed it right off again.  It was for a fun day without bringing any shape or disrespect to the officers themselves.
Daisy May had other plans.  Rehearsals went great.  We were ready for the party.  The idea was that Hamlet would greet each guest who would, "kiss the pig" to gain entrance.
We were doing pretty well.  We started with the children which were always fun.  Then we progressed to the adult guests.  Then suddenly, Daisy May heard her master's voice and bounded through the door.
She got to kiss her favorite person in the world on his special day.  Hamlet was the gentleman.  He stepped back, bowed, and headed for cake.
The party was successful, but I do not advise ever trying it again.  Hamlet and Daisy May spent the afternoon trying to out kiss each other.  Every time someone would kiss Hamlet, she would grunt until her master lowered his head for another kiss.  He did not even need the honey.  I am not sure what the guy's wife thought about all this... That is right, she was an officer too.  I guess she will get her share of the kisses too.
No one refused to kiss the pig or the officer the party was to honor.

Submitted: September 19, 2021

© Copyright 2022 Texasjane. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


D. Thurmond aka JEF

A fun little story with an "out in the country" feel to it, and those are always welcome to the soul. --- Thanks Jane.

Sun, September 19th, 2021 7:26pm


So glad to hear from you. I will need to get caught up with reading your stuff. If you like the country stories, you will enjoy the Funny Farm stuff. It all starts with a llama named Loverboy. The Retirement at the Funny Farm, Wishes and Dreams, Go Climb a Tree.... there are a few. I still think you might find them amusing.

Sun, September 19th, 2021 1:30pm


I read this just now and chuckled
It was so good to have seen the photos. But your word pictures convey the most adorable pics. Thank you xo

Sun, September 19th, 2021 8:01pm


Thank you so much. I wrote this story a long time ago, two years at least. I forgot about it until I ran across the pictures that went with it. I thought.. why not. The pics are good and it was such fun watching the whole thing. They kiss a pig goodbye that night in the most honorable style possible. The office was a real favorite of all on the force.

Sun, September 19th, 2021 1:25pm

Facebook Comments

More Humor Short Stories

Other Content by Texasjane

Book / Mystery and Crime

Book / Children Stories

Book / Action and Adventure