I Shit On Saturdays

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Dysfunctional Poetry

This is 5 minute poetry at its very worst, pretending to be a Green Day song. The NERVE.

 

I shit on Saturdays

 

Cancer is infused with insanity

It wreaks havoc with both body and mind

Whether it’s weight loss, baldness or fatigue 

It’s inevitably a close encounter

Of the weirdest kind

 

Monday I do cardiac rehab

Tuesdays I’m shopping if the pains aren’t bad

Wednesday I go back to the hospital gym

Thursday I call Hawaii and talk story with friends 

Every other Friday I go gamble with my brother at “Three”

Saturday I try to shit with every ounce of energy

Sunday I pray, just like on every other day

For all the people who have it harder than me

 

With follicles falling all around me

Even strangers recognize something’s not right

I worry more about my lack of hair

Than the alien mass I have

Growing inside 

 

Monday I do cardiac rehab

Tuesdays I’m shopping if the pains aren’t bad

Wednesday I go back to the hospital gym

Thursday I call Hawaii and talk story with friends 

Every other Friday I go gamble with my brother at “Three”

Saturday I try to shit with every ounce of energy

Sunday I pray, just like on every other day

For all the people who have it harder than me

 

Yeah pain meds have got my guts all tied in knots

It’s still better than dealing with all the pain

I try fiber gummys, stool stimulants and a vanilla latte 

Anything to drop the brown bomb again

 

Monday I do cardiac rehab

Tuesdays I’m shopping if the pains aren’t bad

Wednesday I go back to the hospital gym

Thursday I call Hawaii and talk story with friends 

Every other Friday I go gamble with my brother at “Three”

Saturday I try to shit with every ounce of energy

Sunday I pray, just like on every other day

For all the people who have it harder than me

 

So yeah I’m almost done with the cardio plan

Three years of hormones and radiation 

About the only therapy or treatment that I haven’t tried

Is transcendental meditation 

 

Monday I do cardiac rehab

Tuesdays I’m shopping if the pains aren’t bad

Wednesday I go back to the hospital gym

Thursday I call Hawaii and talk story with friends 

Every other Friday I go gamble with my brother at “Three”

Saturday I try to shit with every ounce of energy

Sunday I pray, just like on every other day

For all the people who have it harder than me

 

I tell my closest friends I’m bulletproof

But really it’s an act to mask the fear

I’m thinking if I can cash in on the power ball at 400 mil

I’ll be living in Mexico this time next year

 

Monday I do cardiac rehab

Tuesdays I’m shopping if the pains aren’t bad

Wednesday I go back to the hospital gym

Thursday I call Hawaii and talk story with friends 

Every other Friday I go gamble with my brother at “Three”

Saturday I try to shit with every ounce of energy

Sunday I pray, just like on every other day

For all the people who have it harder than me

Yeah, all those poor fuckers worse off than me

 

Bcm

27 September 2021

 

 


Submitted: September 28, 2021

© Copyright 2021 ShadyBrady. All rights reserved.

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