Trauma and Mental Illness

Reads: 36  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Free writing about my trauma growing up and not disclosing my abusers. By doing this i keep my identity protected.

Hello my name is upside down and i would like to write about trauma that has happened in my life. My first traumatic event was when i was ten years old and was molested by my

brother who was five years older than me. He would lure me into the bathroom and make it seem like we were playing games. Thirty five years later i still fear going into public

restrooms for fear of being attacked. I believe this is the core of how i got my bipolar disorder. 

One of the most difficult things to do especially for a male is to talk about sexual abuse. There is a stereotype that many people say that if you are sexually abused as a child then

you will be a abuser to children as well. I Could never seeing myself hurting a child in that way. I would not want to put a child through that pain and torture. One of my conflicts I fight

with is if I saw a child being harmed I would want to inflict violence on the person doing the harm. This is were the p.t.s.d. Sets in. 

Other ways the abuse impacted me was me having a low self esteem throughout school. When I was in the army I would go to a lot of red light districts in Europe. I am barely

starting to be able to feel any emotions. A person that goes through this like myself just has a numbness feeling that does not go away. I have become a prisoner of my mind and now I

am figuring ways to set my mind free. Talking to an audience that I cannot see is a huge first step.

 


Submitted: September 28, 2021

© Copyright 2021 upside down. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:


Facebook Comments

Other Content by upside down

Poem / Poetry

Miscellaneous / Non-Fiction