Clutter Matters; Is hoarding a greed demon?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Slow Down!

Once in a while, it happens that your bedroom looks like an overused storage area. You jump over boxes and trip over everything.

I would never have characterized myself as a hoarder if I had not had trouble cleaning out my house. I mean, the living room was in order and clean (because of the African ‘visitor syndrome’ I guess where you put everything in order and keep the best glasses for visitors who will probably only visit you once a year) but the bedroom was a different story.

Moving time was guaranteed to be hard. Parting with anything was death sentence. Boxes and boxes of books and papers, a tall, large bag of shoes, some of which I had worn only once in five years, piles and piles of clothes, old containers and Jerry cans, the list was endless.

A good African woman keeps old jars of jam, margarine, detergent, etc, in order to keep the sugar, salt, tealeaves e.t.c. Too many youghut, honey and powder milk containers (at least they were clean though) and I could not bring myself to throw them away.

Since childhood, cleaning my room had always been a real challenge. Every time I visited the trash area, there was a nice hand fan or a nice looking perfume bottle, in fact, there was always a heap under my bed and it took real hard work to clean. If you pushed a hand broom down there and pulled, a load came with it, then you had to do it again and again: cleaning my room only happened when there was an ‘order from above.’ Anyways, it was tough after that, throwing out something really hurt. It felt like something was being ripped out of my heart.

On one sunny day, in adulthood, I could not get myself to throw out the plastic paper packages and I wondered why my room was still full after rounds of ‘arranging’ “Why is my life not normal and why can’t I have a normal bedroom?” The Lord’s voice was very near, deeply concerned: “Do you realize how deep it goes? It invades every area of your life.”

Huh?

“Relationships you should have left by now, several years’ worth of dead cousinships, friendships, boyfriendships, bestfriendships. You hug teadybears and wait for calls and get togethers that may never come. Unnecessary, unhealthy relationships, sinful relationships, unhealthy food thrown down your throat because ‘you cannot bring yourself to let go of your emotions or to WASTE food…or to face your emotions. Every part of you is made up of hoarding…”

Yes, that was why I could never stick to a diet, I realized.

But why? Anxiety was the mother of all problems.

Some major loss in life?

I never did grow up with my real father and I did not get much affirmation growing up anyway. Blah blah blah I used to eat my feelings at a certain point, and then force myself to hurl it in the toilet. I hated health food compared to ‘fancy food’ All that anxiety and the nightmares of sleep had found a good hiding place. It was in my emotions and the way I dealt with people and relationships. I hated being left out, alone and being dumped, so frightened was I. Yet, I was always alone and dumped anyway.

Well, Since ‘things’ were the only things that could not dump me, I clang onto them for dear life, unconsciously. This prison was real, no matter how hard I tried to escape. I was in a bag endlessly looking for the zip to let myself out. Let me clarify something; if you are a Christian and you cannot handle your emotions, you are DEFEATED.

Always sit back and ask yourself why you do certain unwelcome things. Think back to your history and see if there are some emotions you did not deal with then. Maybe the reason you cannot fully open up to your wife or husband is because your first boyfriend hurt you. Have you repented of the first sin? Have you dealt with your own painful emotions? People are angry and they are abusers and they have addictive tendencies because there is something in the subconscious that they have not dealt with. Tell you what; it is time to LET GO!

‘Women who love too much’ are probably dealing with father wounds just like I was. They are addicted to bad relationships and to men who reject them because that is all they know and it is all they have learnt.

Anyway, after that, I realized that sometimes, if you want to deal with a major problem, you must deal with the demon behind it. A demon of greed, selfishness and gluttony; always wanting to have more, always coveting and wanting, always shopping endlessly for fast food and useless items, always.

‘My house, my things, wrath struck if u borrowed and did not return, materialism, vanity, where love was about how much money and possessions I was getting and showing off, finding comfort in possessions. But long story short, the Lord intervened before I could destroy myself, and He saved me from being a major laughing stock. And in that, it actually took prayer to get deliverance, to deal with spirits of confusion and failure. And so It was prayer and revelation that helped me to conquer that hideous Monster called hoarding.


Submitted: October 08, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Kristan Kurora. All rights reserved.

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Archia

I used to be very attached to items, especially things that came from relationships and friendships. I justified it by telling myself that if I didn't have something to look at and keep hold of I would forget. It was very fulfilling to actually throw some things away and move past that. I really enjoyed reading your piece. Hoarding is a problem for a lot of people and it does often come from problems in the past but since people don't see the direct link between them they don't recognise what needs to be addressed. I think you really showed the importance of looking at our past to help our current position.

Sat, October 9th, 2021 7:20am

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Thank You

Sat, October 9th, 2021 12:31am

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