Defiance

Reads: 68  | Likes: 7  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 11

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

I thought it was high time I got back to the writers and poets I've befriended on Booksie.
For a bit of fun and to get a poem written, I've had a go at constructing a diamond poem.
The first line has one syllable, the second line two and then in sequence to a middle line of five syllables before pinching a syllable off each line back to a single one.

I

defy

those who pry

prise, despise my

yearning poet's sigh.

I question why

they belie

this dry

cry.


Submitted: October 15, 2021

© Copyright 2021 panteleon. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Alizzia Ward

Hee hee. Seems cryptic to me, but it suits you and makes it more interesting. Keep on writing!(forgive my id**cy)
~Alizzia

Fri, October 15th, 2021 2:12pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Alizzia you are fun and encouraging!

Fri, October 15th, 2021 7:16am

anand bose

Dear Sir,

You deserve plaudits for the amazing content of the poem.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 2:51pm

Author
Reply

Thank you anand for your kind comment.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 7:18am

xavier jarrell

I too feel it’s a cryptic, but leaves enough clues to get the message.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 4:16pm

Author
Reply

Thank you xavier for personally commenting on my poem.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 7:21am

datakon

very good your construct far surpasses my writing skills, as I most chastised for, format of which I have no learning. example Octoberween, but I wanted it written like a text for effect of the spirit. thank you for your input I am useless without it and hope maybe you can teach me "suin"

Oh the sigh...

Fri, October 15th, 2021 5:15pm

Author
Reply

Thank you datakon for all your thoughts surrounding my diamond poem and for becoming my fan. I'm not sure that I can teach you much about poetry as it is art that is so very different for each poet. Keep writing and don't be too hard on yourself - your work is not to impress us but to express your emotions. If your poem is real to you then it is a 'good' poem and you can be proud of making yourself a mirror to show you how you think and feel.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 7:26am

88 fingers

Very simple with deep feelings. I liked it.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 5:17pm

Author
Reply

Thank you 88 fingers for kindly commenting on my poem.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 7:26am

88 fingers

Very simple with deep feelings. I liked it.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 5:17pm

LE. Berry

I felt this as a piece of descriptive which is telling of the hidden thoughts held by many poets. Well done. And as a former visual artist, nice diamond shape as well!

Fri, October 15th, 2021 7:44pm

Author
Reply

Thank you LE for your kind and nicely thought out feedback.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 7:19am

ThatGreenWriter

Thank you for leaving a comment on my poem!

I've read through the poem, and I really like it. Though I've never attempted to write a poem with this structure before, it looks like a hard format to try and fit a poem into, but I think it runs really well.

Love it!

Sun, October 31st, 2021 9:24am

Author
Reply

Thank you ThatGreenWriter for reading my poem and for your kind comments.

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 10:30am

5ilv3r 5trand

Interesting and creative.

Mon, November 1st, 2021 2:13pm

Author
Reply

Thank you 5ilv3r 5trand for reading my poem and leaving you kind comment.

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 10:31am

datakon

very good thanks! I am sensing the "do what I feel like" from reading this. Very nice, love the format very
I like it very much

Sat, November 27th, 2021 5:09am

Author
Reply

Thank you datakon for reading and commenting on my diamond poem. I really enjoy exploring set forms for poems - I think my favourite form is a ballad. This is simple verse meant to be sung or recited to a group or crowd and they need to understand the story, mood and message after one hearing!

Mon, November 29th, 2021 8:05am

Prism Persona

I hadn’t heard of the Diamond structure before. I like your execution! To me, it seems like those who pry do so only to judge and ignore the true motive and emotions of your work which often happens to poets :(. Whatever it means, it’s a very good poem. I’ll try this style, it looks like a good challenge!

Wed, December 1st, 2021 12:50pm

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