Three Weeks That Left Me Broken

Reads: 71  | Likes: 3  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 8

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Too much sickness and death.

Three Weeks That Left Me Broken

I’m not sure if I can string the words together to write this but I’m going to try, mainly because I hope it will be at least in some way cathartic.

To really understand you’ll need to take it from me that my cats were so much more than just pets. Not only did I view them as family, but they were my best and only real-life friends.

I have previously shared what happened with Jessie Boo. He went from seeming perfectly healthy on September 16 to being so ill on the following day that I rushed him to the vets. He stayed overnight for tests and scans which detected a tumor so big it was blocking his stomach. When I saw him he did not know me, did nothing but cry continuously with pain. There was nothing that could be done for him so I held him while the injection to put him to sleep was administered.

To say I was a mess afterwards was an understatement. Jessie Boo had been an unusual cat in that he showed from the time he was a tiny kitten an almost dog-like devotion. Going outside was painful, but I had to carry on caring for his two brothers, Ziggy Stardust and Pettie, aswell as their adoptive sister Kookie.

While I was still pretty much reeling from that I heard that my mother was admitted to hospital. A totally unexpected emergency had arisen. Now, my Dad is house-bound and has a lot of difficulty moving around, and I live in a different country and am a carer who has to be available 24/7. Luckily my brother had moved back with my parents a while back so he was not entirely alone, except during the 11 hours five days a week that my brother was at work.

No one expected the cancer diagnosis, especially the fact that it was a severe tumor. At this time we are still waiting to find out if there is any treatment at all on offer.

These two blows sent my world into a tail-spin. I held it together because I had to. Three or four phone calls to check up on my dad – he often falls and cannot get up by himself when he does – I was in the position of having to be emotionally supportive too. As much as I had been shocked, he had been more so than me.

Meanwhile, Ziggy went missing. For the first day I wasn’t too worried. Even though he has always been very much a home boy, there had been occasions when he’d gone off for a day before. When he did not return the following day I was worried. ‘Don’t worry. He’ll be back.’ That was what I was told, and on the third day he was back – at least in body.

I was returning home from grocery shopping when I saw him lying on the grass verge at the bottom of our driveway. I knew he was dead, but there was no way I’d leave him there.

It was obvious from his position that someone had placed him there for me to find. I don’t mean in a malicious way – no doubt they had heard me calling him. I carried him up the drive, cuddling and stroking him, and I’m not embarrassed to say I was literally in pieces when we buried him and have been ever since.

This last week has been like a living nightmare and the only way I’ve been able to get through it is to more or less shut down. I haven’t written a thing, have stayed away from the internet and have dragged my way through the days. Maybe writing this out will be some kind of turning point, but then again maybe not.

 

 


Submitted: October 15, 2021

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

AdamCarlton

I know words are useless at a time like this but I am thinking of you. All my sympathies.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 7:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Adam. so appreciated.

Sat, October 16th, 2021 5:19am

dewey green

I am so sorry to hear of you sad days, my heart is breaking for you mate. Loss is a terrible thing, and our furry family is no exception. To hear about your Mum is awful, I had hoped for a better result. The one sure thing in the universe is change, occasionally we may have some good times, but the misery that comes around is always guaranteed, you can count on that. We do grow from it, it makes us stronger. Know that you are in my thoughts, I wish I could contribute to help, but I am also going through rough times. I encourage any if your readers to donate and help out our fellow writer, mentor, and friend in this time of need. Bless you Hulls.

Fri, October 15th, 2021 7:38pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, dewey.

Sat, October 16th, 2021 5:18am

olive tree

Rip

Sat, October 16th, 2021 6:23am

Author
Reply

Thank you.

Sat, October 16th, 2021 5:17am

ratwood2

If I were not so far away, I would give you a hug and make you a cup of tea.

Sat, October 16th, 2021 2:25pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Robert. It's the thought that counts!

Sat, October 16th, 2021 10:02am

Mike S.

Sometimes, Hull, life just isn't fair--you've had several years worth of trauma in a week--all you can do soldier on and I know it doesn't feel like it, the pain will become, if not gone, at least bearable--and I'll take of my preacher garb and climb down from my soap box

Sat, October 16th, 2021 6:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike. Those words mean so much.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 5:44am

Mike S.

In three weeks, that is

Sat, October 16th, 2021 6:06pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Mike.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 5:45am

moa rider

Pole sana Mama Hullabaloo, you've had your share of tough times that are hard to bear. Here's hoping... Usaiangue

Sat, October 16th, 2021 8:05pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Moa.

Sun, October 17th, 2021 5:44am

L.E. Belle

So sorry for what you have been through and are going through, Hullabaloo. You will be in my thoughts and I do sympathize with the pain that comes with losing a pet, a loved one. I hope the days will get better for you soon! *HUG*

Sun, October 17th, 2021 9:04pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, L.E.

Mon, November 8th, 2021 9:17am

Facebook Comments