Papa

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

It was just an ordinary Monday.
An ordinary awkward car ride with my father.
An ordinary go back to university kind of day.

To prevent the awkward atmosphere, I tried starting a conversation my father but it turned into a 2-hour conversation. Maybe it was the fact that my father drove 6 hours straight from Seremban to Ipoh the day before but he was fragile at that moment. He talked about everything from his childhood to adulthood and I was fascinated by it. I've never put myself in his shoes before but the conversation had put things into new perspective. He was a walking kdrama mixed with bollywood and I've never realised it.

In this collection of short stories, I will talk about how his mother cried after he got locked up. How his brothers were adopted. How he bullied people in the past. How he became friends with a gangster. How he married my mom and lastly, how he became a father.

My father’s life.

Growing up, I’ve never really put myself in my father’s shoes, until I was 22 years old. On the way to my university, my father drove the car. I tried having a conversation with my father because that’s the only time it wasn’t awkward, sort of. It was also a good excuse to not fall asleep in the middle of a highway. After we stopped at a nearby rest stop where I’ve cleared every food in my stomach due to the spicy belacan I had the night before-it was worth the three diarrhea I had the next morning-I asked my father about his orchard.

The first few minutes went by with the basics- the durian, trees, babi hutan and so on-but after that it got interesting, too interesting to not continue. My father talked about the ghosts he met in his orchard. I was rather amused than scared because the way he talks makes it interesting. If only I could play the conversation we had, you would be laughing. He said, “kalau papa tak masuk kebun tu, kawan yang lain semua tak masuk. Deme takut antu, papa tak.” He continued with, “papa main tibai je masuk, tak kisah ada hantu ke babi hutan ke, papa redah je”. After that, he talked about how he could feel the presence of ghosts in the orchard and how he just ignored them and get to his business instead. He said there were once, he accidently killed a snake. For most of us, we would run or feel glad it died but not my father. He cried. He fucking cried.

That made me feel so bad because I never knew he was soft. He had always been tough with us while we were growing up, to the point we hate him because he was so insensitive. I've said a few bad words to him in the past, not knowing how it broke him inside but he kept on a façade and pretended to be strong, when he was not. I remembered how awful I was to him because I was a raging hormonal teenager and he was just trying to become a father for the first time and there I was, being an emotional teenager.

That ghosts conversation diverted into another one which was about how his auntie was once exorcised infront of him and a few other ghosts stories that I can’t begin to type. Maybe another time but that day is not today. He talked about his childhood. How his mother cried after he got locked up. How his brothers were adopted. How he bullied people in the past. How he became friends with a gangster. How he changed to become a better person. How he became a father. In the next chapters, I’ll get more in detail about it.


Submitted: October 19, 2021

© Copyright 2021 meenie. All rights reserved.

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