Flower

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Writers' Tree House

Would you pick the Flower?

Pick the flower from a fancy field,

Fondle with its nurtured petals and fratern the fresh smell,

But be fairly gentle for it will to decay yield;

Whatever fortuned pattern it may hold is still finite and fell.

 

Sit your sorry, selfish self inside,

Sulk and scrutinize the sombre sanguination.

You saw the sovereign soul of it slip and slide,

Slowly, surely sapping without salvation.

 

Never let it get to you,

The sorrow and grief like an animal.

The Fates weaving a trapped net,

Leaving no tomorrow, room not for relief, belief fallible.


 

Let not the joyous nectar of the flower spoil for waste,

Savour the moment, enjoy it all.

But animals we are not: born not elected, in haste to foil.

Fate’s favour not in our atonement, like Troy in its fall.

 

The soul-sucking, frantic fantasies forming a shallow scene,

Dreams: foul, sick, and wretched as a viking veteran.

Instructing, gigantic and lording is the Ego at the gallow.

The black ambitions of Life itself Curs-ed. Senseless.


 

The flower sits still and silent in the smooth vase,

Fed on sweet sugar, succulent and savouring.

Forced not fruition, but mere existence, fine and fulfilling.

And in the final end it will be…



 

...Alright

 


Submitted: October 19, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Genzu4750. All rights reserved.

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Thoughts Before Rem

I'm feeling like this is supposed to be saying that no matter what happens to you or to anything there is always a chance to come back from the tragedy and be back on top. But the poem itself seems to go in so many directions it has a very...assertive tone that I actually enjoyed which surprised me since I usually like like softer pieces even though I don't really read poetry much. It was a good piece. Let me know what this was about if anything at all or if I was misrepresenting anything about it. Thanks for writing it I think I'm a fan.

Thu, October 21st, 2021 5:18am

Author
Reply

1) Thank you for reading and reviewing, and even requesting me to explain it further.
2) prepare for a long reply explaining to you what I intended of the poem.


The opening, where a flower gets picked, the flower is supposed to represent a person, or life or just people in general. 'fancy field' meaning the world we live in today, tech and all.
the second line about the petals and smell tries to show off a nice appearance of the flower, right before it tells you to be gentle as no matter how it looks, the flower is always susceptible to 'decay'.
'whatever fortuned pattern it may hold' is referring to DNA/a persons natural talent, and the fact that we are all still 'finite and fell'. finite because we are finite, and fell as in 'fallen' or 'foul', as we are not perfect, therefore flawed.

the next stanza is just about how (you??) saw the flower die, and are sad. very sad. 'sorry' because you're sorry that someone died, yet selfish because you are relieved on some level that it didn't happen to you.
'sovereign soul' is there to contrast the last stanza's 'finite and fell' as humans can rarely make their minds up about things. 'slip and slide' meaning death can happen very suddenly.
'slowly ,surely sapping without salvation.' is another case of humans not being able to make their minds up, is death fast or slow? is there a sovereign soul or no salvation? Also referring to how death is in fact slow as once youre born, then you are fated to die. (dreadful, I know.)

The third stanza is trying to reinforce some sort of hope(?)
'sorrow and grief like an animal' is what I put in because surely such a logical being as a human would be long past emotions and the like. but we aren't, this subtly calls us all animals.
'leaving no tomorrow, room not for relief; belief fallible' this (very vaguely) references how there is in fact no tomorrow for any of us, as we all live in the present. tomorrow may come, but it will at that point be 'today'. no relief as there will always be unnecessary stress in out lives, whatever the cause. and 'belief fallible' once again goes to the idea of human belief and reason being uncertain, unstable and just pure whack sometimes. also asserts a 'no god is coming to save you' kind of vibe.

fourth stanza, as you can see by now, my original alliteration(where I couldn't decide between f words and s words) has now highly died down, again proving human fallibility.
'let not the joyous nectar of the flower spoil for waste' nectar meaning time. don't waste your time playing too many games, watching too much youtube, or otherwise reading depressing poems.
'but animals we are not' is perhaps the only consistent statement in this poem, and it goes to show the go of humanity, always seeing themselves as better than they truly are. 'born not elected' as in we had no choice in our birth. no one really chose us specifically.
'Fate's favour not in out atonement' the universe is literally against us. entropy dictates that being dead is a preferable state to being alive as it spreads energy much more evenly. and whilst no sin is given to mankind, I'm sure that if i started then the list of sins wouldn't stop.

In this stanza the alliteration somewhat returns, a mix of the f and s words as well as a few more.
'the soul-sucking, frantic fantasies forming a shallow scene' is on about how our perception of the world is limited by the fact that we are mortal and delusional.
'dreams: foul, sick, and wretched as a viking veteran' the vikings invaded england, and whilst they had a slight physical advantage, they had primitive weapons, and yet they managed to wage a war without a problem. this is how dreams are. exactly lilke the tall, mean vikings thata burned a lot of english villages.
'instructing, gigantic and lording is the Ego at the gallow' This shows just how much humanity has let its ego lead it, but now it was at the gallow, about to be put down for good, and yet it is still so dominating of us. This admittance comes one stanza too late, which is a trend with humanity. "Woah, lets put crack cocaine in toothache medicine, FOR CHILDREN!"
"That sounds like such a good idea!"
Point proven.
'The black ambitions of Life itself Curs-ed. Senseless.' this differs from the meaning of Life, but the ambition is black yet, and Curs-ed furthermore. think capitalism, war, spite, giant animal slaughterhouses, and everything else bad about humans.

The last stanza is peace amongst the chaotic and looming rest of the poem, finally getting back to the flower, as well as having a nice mix of the f and s words for alliteration.
'The flower sits still and silent in the smooth vase,' perhaps afraid to move having seen all the mistakes it has made before. Afraid to even talk, lest the wrong words come out.
'Fed on sugar, succulent and savouring.' it is being preserved in the vase, the sugar now acting in place of the nectar.
"Forced not fruition, but mere existence, fine and fulfilling' The flower is not asked of much, certainly not to bear fruit. there are few expectations, and having made through the day, existing, is considered enough.
'And in the final end it will be...' this end is final, period.
there is a pause as the right word is to be found.

'...Alright'
Shows that nothing is ever as bad as you think it is, especially after that thing has happened to you.
The lack of a fullstop also maintains hope, as this is not the true end, but then again dips back into the part of us that is uncertain, as we did just say that this was the 'final end', and yet it is not.
and if you notice ,starting with the second stanza, begins the first stage of grief.
denial from the scrutinization.
the third stanza is a different type of anger, being more existential than personal.
the fourth stanza is bargain. 'Savour the moment, enjoy it all.'
the fifth is depression ,as everything becomes cursed and black and senseless.
The last stanza is acceptance, and finishes the poem on a peaceful, soft note.


Sorry for the long winded explanation, but you asked for it ;)

3) i expect people to see this poem as "woawh he referrenced Troy, thats like greek stuff, woawh..."

4) thx for reading tho, means a lot.

Thu, October 21st, 2021 3:14am

nikappuhamy

"woawh he referrenced Try, thats like greek stuff, woawh"

Beautiful poem, Gen.. This has plenty of rhymes, which my poems doesn't! (lol)
Sorry for taking this much time to read your work.. I'm looking forward to read the things I missed!
Keep writing.. Miss your creepy words on our house! ; )

Fri, November 12th, 2021 1:34am

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