A Libro Consiliorum Tale: The Foreigner of Fawn # 2 - The Encounter

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Writers' Tree House

Featured Review on this writing by Genzu4750

Libro Consiliorum #10

With his now clothes covered in dirt, hair brown, now blackened by the smog, and his mind torn apart, Emmanuel Antonio tries to find his chest to calm his soul. A familiar voice bellows in his mind.

Track names: Emanuel, Elis, Bellalina

Created: December 02,2021

Now, the town of Fawn is on the west coast of Spain. Recently, there have been many reports of creatures not from this world "lurking and stealing.” Don’t go causing more trouble for yourself uhm ...what was your name again?" the barkeeper asked as he cleaned out a used glass. With his clothes covered in dirt, hair brown, now blackened by the smog, and his mind torn apart, Emanuel Antonio tries to find his chest to calm his soul. "It's Emanuel…" he says by trying to recover from what had just happened. "You should stay away from the sheriff; it has been his mission to capture this. whatever it is." "He will find nothing - nor the help in tracking such things if he accuses every new face he sees,” Emanuel replies. The bar was filled with men lost in ale and thought while women with no dignity fonder their veil to persuade them.

"Why don't I help you instead, gallant," one of the women from before. "You can call me, Salina." Salina was a Roma woman. Emanuel had heard of them during his sail to Fawn. Romas travel to places where men lust. With their slutty ways, they fool men into bed to take their deeds and notes. Our boy Emanuel, troubled, must have the scent of attention as Salina dances with her hands, rubbing his legs and groin while he sits on the barstool.” I’m sure there's a beast inside of you that I could ...anger," she says, pulling vigorously on Emanuel's trousers. "I won't tell the sheriff-" whispering in his ears, "if you let … me …  bite-". Emanuel leaps from the stool only to lose his balance, now kneeling! With his body tired and weak, stomach warmed with rum, Emanuel falls onto the bar ground.

'Emano!' a voice call to someone. Emanuel wakes up to the smell of majadito, a dish of rice and meat. As he rises out of bed, he is trapped beneath yellow sheets and pillows covered in white linen. The sound of music crowds his mind. Crawling towards the edge of the bed, he smells a familiar thing. It was Arepa de huevos! Our boy Emanuel Antonio is a man with great taste in food! They were fried dough filled with eggs. As a hungry Emanuel near the end of the sheets, a tall shadowy figure leaned over him.

"Papa!" a young girl leaps onto Emanuel. With a laugh, Emanuel replied, "Elis! What are you doing sneaking up on me?” Elis had brownish red hair with hazel eyes. She was beautiful and joyful in every way. They say a daughter makes a man into a father, one who sees the world through her eyes rather than his own. A daughter teaches a father about love. Elis always woke Emanuel up like this by climbing on him. "Papa! My birthday!", she was nine and would turn ten this Sunday. "Patience Elis…you have a couple more days before your day, do not rush to be older.

 "Emano!", there it was again, the voice that had called onto Emanuel from before. His heart ached whenever he heard it, but his eyes could not seek out the source of the sound. Emanuel picks up Elis resting her on his left forearm. They toured around the room finding the door. In the hall, pictures of people were hung and framed across the wall and side table. Turning a corner, Emanuel and Elis saw the front door, it was open. They could feel the sun, but a cool breeze hit them like the time Emanuel gave Elis a horse ride. They both head towards the front door then suddenly, "Emano?" The voice, now direct, traveled from his right ear through his left. With Elis still in his arms, Emanuel became weak. A prolonged feeling ran down his spine. He could feel her fingers run down his back every time she called to him. His stomach begged while his eyes melted. To us, he had turned his body so quickly to see, but to him, the time had stopped to its lowest point so that he could see to every perfection of her face. "Mami", Elis running towards her, ready to eat. Her name was Bellalina and for our troubled-minded, love-stoned friend Emanuel Antonio, he could not articulate the love he had for her. I will try it for him. She was gorgeous.

She had the darkest shade of brown hair that when the morning sun shines on it, was as brown as trees towering the sky.  Her skin was smooth like an earthy stone that had been chipped and stripped in its past life. It made her tough and strong inside. Her long neck was like a dune that sloped to perfection between the desert sky above and the calm ground below. When Emanuel was a lad, he dived into rocky waters to save her fishing net and lure. The pain inflicted on him to that day being cut and scraped was never more painful than love stabbed in his chest for her. But she was no damsel (and Emanuel was no great savior being in agony all day trying to pretend he was gallant).

"Emanuel, are you alright?" Bellalina wondered. "You look lost, my love…". Emanuel did seem lost in his own home, one that he built himself. It was a single floor, log cabin made in a method call chink where moss and fur are push between stacks of logs. Emanuel had once worked for the Euros on their "discovered" land, clearing earth and wood. The three of them all sat around the table. They prayed and ate; they drank and sang. Elis always ate her dessert on Emanuel's lap. Bellalina was a woman of wonder, she had the voice of choir birds. Every night after dinner she would sing Elis to sleep. Once Elis fell asleep, Emanuel and Bellalina would sit together outside reminiscing about their youth. Bellalina had a good memory about the past, a gift she got from her father. She was the only girl of eight. Emanuel was always in awe of her upbringing. When she was younger, people called her BeBe, she hated that name. To get on her nerves, he would call her by that name, a big mistake as Emanuel would find himself sleeping on hay and moss.

 'Emano...", she said worried "Why did you look so lost today?" Bellalina could always tell when our boy Emanuel was pondering and wondering, a gift of his own mind. "No... but this morning I had an awful dream", he replied. "I was in a dark town of gloom and no tranquility. Everyone was a bother as I was accused of -". Before he could finish, Emanuel Antonio realized something. Bellalina was asleep. He combs her hair with his fingers and smiles. "Nightmares…", he whispered. "Nightmares may come for me but they will never... for you.", He says as he kisses her and falls asleep. The next morning Emanuel woke up, but no Elis to greet him. She was playing outside and Bellalina was chopping wood. Emanuel turned towards Elis when suddenly he hears a cry, “Emano-” “There it is!”, a man screams. “I gotcha...Oh it's only you... foreigner”, It was The Sheriff. 

Submitted: October 20, 2021

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Add Your Comments:



'Emano' seems quite troubled.
Whilst this type of book doesn't seem like my bag of sticks(bag of sticks??? Sorry, I can't remember the actual saying) , but i still enjoyed the casual exposition on Emano and his family. It did give me LoveCraftian vibes, I will say. Gloomy town, mystery, accusations of murder... hahaha....

One of my criticisms is that some dialogue is unclear as to who is talking, maybe revisit this and clarify such as having 'person1 said' everyother line of dialogue or so. #just my thought as I was a bit confused who was talking at the end, but i figured it out after#

also loving the witty narrator.
'he could not articulate the love he had for her. I will try for him. She was gorgeous.'
he really did try haha.

And whilst I do understand that this is part 2, I believe that good writing doesn't need context to be good. (when it comes to description anyways)
I think you did a decent job.

"Why did you look so lost today?"

"Nightmares may come for me, but they will never... for you."

Mon, October 25th, 2021 6:15pm


AS i mention in your comment in #1. thanks again.

i must confess, this writing really had me researching dialogue as it wasn't my forte and really the DNA of writing I'm not used to.

i will improve it!

Mon, October 25th, 2021 5:26pm

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