I'm cursed by the old feelings that kept hunting me since the day that you left me 
You told me the words that I hate the most 
These 3 words that won't make me feel any different 
I want to tell you that I moved on since the day that everything happened 
But now and then your words will come back 
I want to tell you that I fell in love
He makes me feel like I care but I know we're not meant to be
Things trigger me 
I'm trying to be the girlfriend 
The girl that makes him feel something 
I'm putting all my effort in this 
But I know the hole that you left in my heart won't be filled
You damaged every cell in my brain and I don't know how love tastes now 
I'm not trying to change my behaviour around him I'm just trying to be me again
I want to be happy one more time 
Summer is over and I'm afraid that winter won't be easy on me 
Once again I feel trapped by the words 
Will I be cursed for the rest of my life? or Will I get out of these circles that you put me through? 
I feel like every person that I will meet won't be good or I won't be good enough for them 
I will still carry your mark on my heart 
You killed me while I was still awake 
If you asked me how I survived your bullets I wouldn't know
I'm still figuring out what I am and where this new love will leave me

Submitted: October 28, 2021

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