Centre Of the City Pt. II

Reads: 81  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 3

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Writers' Tree House

Continuation...


 

My backbone shivered as the sound became weirder, my body was freezing, I tried to run, but out of nowhere, my body started to feel strengthless and fatigued.

I woke up in a room full of bloodstains, cobwebs, and bones everywhere. A creepy sound was emerging from the corner. I noticed my left arm was cut and a tube was attached, still, the blood was leaking.

I heard many footsteps approaching, I stepped backward until I banged myself on the wall. I opened my eyes to see men, women & children staring at me... they were BLOOD HOWLS! The most irritating,  human deadly ones. Some were transforming into Vampires, Clowns, werewolves & even Humans! I started to scream as loud as I can, but they didn’t do anything to me, they stared & then, they walked out with a deadly grin.

I started looking for a light, I thought to my self “if there were light there’s a hole that I could escape.” I started to look for evidence until I realized a pile of stones lying in the corner. I gently picked up a stone and kept it on the other side. I made sure that it was pin-drop silence and I read once in a Novel that Blood howls don’t hear much far, so it was easy.

When all the stones were piled up on the other side of me, I found a metal gound door. Tada! I screamed joyfully inside my heart. The door opened. I was finally safe & sound I thought, but I was so wrong. I started creeping and always looking front, back & down. Front, back & down… I then came across a solid metal gate. It took a few hours to unlock the door using my crushed hair pin. Then there was a ladder to the top I climbed and I spotted a street light. 

I ran fast to hug the street light, but something went piercing through my leg. I fell down, everywhere felt so light  & unclear, I started to close my eyes…

“Dennie!”

I opened my eyes to see my elder brother & my younger sister running towards me. I smiled at them and closed my eyes leaving my last tear…
 

“She’s awake!” I began to see my surrounding. I was at the hospital. “Are you alright do you remember anything?” a nurse asked “Yes, I remember everything, where are my parents?” I replied, “Oh, don’t worry I’ll call them.” I saw my thigh and my left arm bandaged. After a few minutes, my siblings came to see me.
 

“ How are you feeling now?” My brother asked

“I’m fine, what happened after I passed out?” I asked

“Well, Brother fought and I called the ambulance. Long story, short” my sister replied


“You are not supposed to know that, Well you should be happy for being saved” lectured my brother (._.)



Well, that was my story. Sometimes I question myself about what happened, but I have more fun to do with my parents and siblings. However, this was a Good Ending. :)
 


“And, Cut!”

“Wow, we did a great story didn’t we?”


Happy Halloween!

;)


Submitted: October 31, 2021

© Copyright 2022 Onethmee. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Onethmee

Here's the link to the 1st part :
https://www.booksie.com/661505-centre-of-the-city
You can check it out!
=)

Sun, October 31st, 2021 2:42am

DiyaSL

Woah, the beginning was so creepy =0
Anyhow, good job Onethmee :)

Sun, October 31st, 2021 3:25am

Author
Reply

Thank You, Diya!
=)

Sun, October 31st, 2021 12:22am

Genzu4750

Halloween indeed, but whether it is happy... That is up for debate.
Thankfully this one was logger than the first one.
At times it was a little unclear what was happening. And as well as being pretty boring. I understand that there isn't an easy way to say that you spent an hour lock picking, but I'm just making you aware of how boring it can be so next time you want fall into that hole of 'I did meticulous action for x amount of time and now I am finished' next time it you use this, it would be nice to add in some tension, maybe the character hears a sound or two during that time, or maybe there is a sudden change of plans.

Anyways, so the entire story was a movie?! Didn't see that coming.
Or was it her telling her real story and making it into a movie??

##Also, the (._.) really caught me off guard. I'm crying with laughter##

Sun, October 31st, 2021 9:17am

Author
Reply

Thank You for your compliments & tips, Genzu! :)
Next time I'll do my best to make it more interesting & clear!
Well, it was all made up (a movie)
Thanks again!
=)

Sun, October 31st, 2021 9:06am

Ann Sepino

Ah! So it was actually a film set, lol. I'm very happy that Dennie comes out of this experience alive. I like the original idea of the Blood Howl creatures. It feels like you could do all kinds of stories about what they are and what they can do.

As for writing techniques, you can try using more direct sentences or active-voice sentences. They help make action-oriented sequences more engaging, as well as give readers a clear picture of what's going on. (ex. 'But out of nowhere, my body started to feel strengthless and fatigued' into 'Out of nowhere, my body lost it strength. I collapsed from fatigue.' / 'I screamed joyfully inside my heart' into 'I yelled inside.')

Great story! And belated Happy Halloween!

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 1:04pm

Author
Reply

Thank You, Ann, for the tips & Compliments!
:D

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 7:26am

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