Swing Goodbye, Friend

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Review Chain

This is a poem I wrote about recently about deciding to cut someone from my life. Well, not really cut ties, but letting go since we've both went our separate ways now. It's a poem if anyone can relate by being close to someone, but learning to accept you've grown apart. It's also a good lesson to learn to value yourself and know when to stop reaching out for this person.

I remember when I was done with you, 

but I still considered you my friend. 

We knew each other as children,

something we reminisced together.

 

We got a glimpse of teenhood with each other, 

but I moved away not soon after.

 

However, 

I haunted our old school halls, 

since I didn’t want to be remembered

I wanted to be a ghost of a past, 

but I still felt a bit sorry 

I never told you, 

I planned to leave. 

 

I ran away from someone,

 but more like people

I didn't feel safe,

even the few true friends I had 

I couldn’t risk them 

being caught up

 

I’ll never tell you this,

but I am glad this person

never found out about you. 

 

I made no contact with you, 

since you were in my past

As I found it painful to ponder

about my middle school experience

 

We let time pass, 

we’re in our crazy twenties

and living in a pandemic now

 

I found you on social media,

so I thought, what the hey?

I messaged you, 

even though it’s been a few years now

 

I didn’t expect you to respond, 

since I did it for the hell of it

 by being quarantined

You messaged me back, 

so we talked throughout the weeks

I sort of did liked you back then, 

but as one of my friends.

 

Now in the present,

I started to see you

 in a different light

 

However, 

excuse me for being corny,

but I saw you as a silver lining.

 

You helped give me a closure, 

since you could tell me 

what happened after I left.

 

Still glad you didn’t bump into them

our other friend wasn’t as lucky

but I’m glad the both of you

 didn’t suffer what happened to me


 

It’s been months as we started talking, 

but you always had self-doubts

You asked me why I hit you up and why now?

I simply replied I remember you being kind,

and it’s a bonus you grew up a cutie.

 

You knew I always spoke my mind,

even as kids I could be quite a performer

 

I will admit when we started to meet in person,

I had a great time hanging out with you.

We could talk about everything, 

but we both overthinked and we weren’t in a good place.

 

When you kissed me, 

I enjoyed it a lot 

and I found it problem

 

I started to care if you texted me,

I started to care how I dressed,

I started to care when I invited you to my home,

and I was honestly terrified.

 

I never knew what we were 

since we only saw each other

 twice or thrice a month in person. 

 

I still say we dated a few months, 

but adding the pandemic 

made it harder too.

 

We called and texted each other, 

you asked me again what are we?

 

I remember how you said,

you felt like I was using you,

but you could be further from the truth.

 

I almost felt used by you too, 

but I stopped it from happening.

 

I honestly wanted a relationship, 

but didn’t at the same time.

I was not ready for a romantic relationship,

even though I just kept dating along.

 

You surprised me when you touched me,

since my body is particular about who could touch me.

You actually made me cry, 

because you made sure I had control.

 

I knew you tried, 

so I appreciated your honesty.

However, 

you thought with your dick, 

giving me the friends of benefit route.

 

At first, 

I wanted to laugh 

cause the way you described 

the friends with benefits 

was like a weird relationship.



 

We were both upfront with each other, 

but I always appreciated 

your no bullshit mouth.

 

I gave myself time to think about it, 

without my hormones involved

even though I found myself tempted.

 

However,

 I started to think of you as an object, 

and not a person with feelings. 

 

My one friend said I had the balls

 to straight up tell you no, 

since a lot of people would cave 

like herself for something lower.

My body and mind came first,

so I deserved better.

 

Of course, 

you and I remained friends

yet I wasn’t stupid 

with an awkward tension 

between us.

 

How did you feel about me at the time?

I knew I hurt your feelings, 

but I understood why you asked for this route.

 

Calls between us became less, 

we hung out in person even less,

but we both confided with each other.

 

I still considered you a good friend,

we both supported each other,

and we called each other if we felt down.

 

I knew once you went away to campus,

things would change tremendously.

 

Your campus might have not been far, 

but another reason

 I didn’t get too close to you.

 

You had an expiration date, 

but you helped me grow as a person.

 

People grow and change

yet I still checked up on you occasionally.


 

However, 

I always initiated, 

but you never did.

 

I’m finally done with you, 

no longer trying anymore.

You knew how to hit me up,

but you’re somebody I used to know.

 

I wish you the best in the life, 

since I actually do care for you

and you're doing well for yourself.

 

I did get the last laugh though,

I did plan to sleep with you.

But you literally blew it,

and only got a small taste. 






















 


Submitted: November 01, 2021

© Copyright 2021 FromBlackToViloet. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Poetshri

Wow! I've never come across such a long poem. It's very sad that happened between you two, but I think you really had the last laugh. When a man begins to think with his dick, then love in a relationship departs. That's also a hint that his intention is something else but love. It's a good thing that you let him go soon. Your poem tells what not to do if a man wants to be a friend with a girl, or in a relationship. I liked the way you presented it here. :)

Mon, November 1st, 2021 12:07pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! I feel like this is the longest poem I’ve written in awhile. I just think I was really in my feelings when I wrote it. Yes, I really did, I am glad I trusted my gut in the end. I remember when I told my one friend, she and I started cracking up cause I really did have the last laugh. It’s a shame though, cause he became a good friend, but I started seeing the grey area now. Sometimes I feel like you can be better off as friends, but friendships and relationships people grow apart. Lol, like you said when a man thinks with their dick, that’s when things get complicated. Once you hit the physical line, that’s a grey area you cant get out of. Thanks, I really just wanted to show in this poem is to not settle with less and don’t feel like yourself is being lowered. It’s so easy when you like someone, you give that person this power and you think if you bend backwards they will start to like you back more. But that’s usually not the case. It’s really important to know what you want and communicate with your partner. Anyways, thanks so much for your review:)

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 6:50am

Ann Sepino

What a very raw and honest poem! It takes guts to write something like this and lay out all the cards online. This piece is a good example of how confusing relationships can be, especially in tough times when the whole world seems barely able to survive. Imo, it's definitely better to find peace and clarity, then move forward, instead of letting things fester.

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 12:23pm

Author
Reply

Thanks so much!!! Yes, I won’t lie, I stared at my screen and really thought should I post this. Of course, I know this person will never see this, but I felt like I wanted to share my experience and see if people might have felt like this. Dating in general is hard, but adding a pandemic yeah it’s pretty confusing. I think any relationship in general: may it be romantic or friendship are the most core ones in your life besides family relationships. You don’t get to choose family, but friends and partners you can, and you have to decide who you want to put in your life. Once I finished writing this, I was like I feel better now, and stopped these questions of did I do something wrong. I pushed these irrelevant questions from my brain and just thought people grow apart . I’m barley in my twenties and I know I have a lot to learn. But I learned from this experience and I keep on going:)

Tue, November 2nd, 2021 6:57am

olive tree

yeah with depression, letting people into your life is very difficult

well written melancholy.

Fri, November 12th, 2021 1:07am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much! Yes, it is depressing when you have to let someone go and move on. But you learn from that experience and gain from it:} Letting people in I do find hard, I'm very cautious, so it's actually like a huge accomplishment of someone to get into my inner circle. Thank you!

Sun, November 14th, 2021 2:40pm

olive tree

Yeah, you’re right, it truly is a huge accomplishment. I severed ties with perhaps the best friends I’ll ever have, and I don’t see myself ever going down that road again. I don’t trust anyone anymore.

Mon, November 15th, 2021 6:52am

Author
Reply

I actually had to cut ties with a lot of people throughout my teenage years. Even though I'm in my early twenties. I've learned and grow from the people I thought I could trust. Don't get me wrong, I'm still cautious and a bit apprehensive to let people in. Funny enough, as I got older, I got to see and learn who my true friends really are. It dosen't really matter how many friends you have, but the friends you can call and talk to and know you can trust them. I've been in your situation where I didn't want to trust anybody. It wasn't letting them fully in, but now I'm starting to trust and really let people in again. We all go through different parts in our life where we close ourselves off. But sometime soon, we slowly but surely open our doors again. I just have more awareness than I did have.

Mon, November 15th, 2021 6:36pm

Genzu4750

This hit hard. especially after having read your Treasure Island and Expiration Date(which have little to no relation to this, but you used the words 'ghost' and 'expiration' so it made me think of them)
Really, I just want to now clarify that the following critique is not me shitting on your poem or feelings, I have actually acutely developed a sense of respect for you.

Nearly no rhyming, there is little to no flow whilst reading, but the depth of your poem helps, engaging the reader with a problem.
Also lack of alliteration, which you could have definitely squeezed in in such a long poem.
I felt this slight, slow and sombre tone right from the start of the story, and from then on it only gets worse and worse, with no clear answer to what the actual problem is, at least until the end( at which point, the violin in my head reached a crescendo and then hummed out...)
Halfway through there is the line 'I wanted to laugh' and at the end you did 'get the last laugh'
Also, you refer to them as having an 'expiration date'. Perhaps still seeing him as an object as previously described, showing the impact he had on you, both negative and positive as they still 'helped me grow as a person'.
And in a poem this long, you could have easily slipped in some italicised(tilted) words to draw emphasis on those words.

now I must depart, but before I do....
Hahaha.
See what I did there?
You know, I got the last laugh- *gets clobbered due to sh*t jokes*

Mon, November 15th, 2021 7:24pm

Author
Reply

I was actually very curious what you thought of this poem. I am glad this poem hit hard for ya, I was sort of in an angry and sort resignation emotions when I wrote this poem. I do like your honesty what I wrote about this poem, I'm always curious how other readers interpret and if I gave my message across. I do get what you mean there's no clear message, until the end, but it should have been clearer in the beginning. I am glad though, despite this, my poem being long it still caught your attention the very end with the emotions feeling out.

Believe me, I was feeling a lot when I wrote this. Your notes, I actually found the wit you put funny, and got me thinking when I write poems like this again in the future. Cause believe me, it's been some hectic crazy months, so I'll be writing stuff like this again. Sometimes, I write poems like this late at night, I sometimes find poetry like a diary sometimes. When things bother me, I tend to bottle it up, and I have trouble figuring out what really the problem is. So when I start writing the poem out, I'm like oh, now I get what I'm feeling. So your comments and critique I'll take into consideration. Cause sometimes I'm not mindful when I write my poem I sort of just blurt it out. When you said that you gained a respect for me, I sort of mentally bended my head for acknowledgement. Not sure if I gained your respect for my writing or my character as person. But it made me laugh a bit, cause it actually made me a bit happy. Thank you again for your feedback and letting me have the last laugh cause of your puns:}

Mon, November 15th, 2021 7:01pm

Thoughts Before Rem

I feel like this is less of a poem and more of a first-person story if that makes sense. This is quite the relationship story though, its sadly normal. You meet someone you like you have fun then it just kind of fizzles out and you all move one. Thank you for writing.

Sat, November 20th, 2021 4:22pm

Author
Reply

Yeah, I see what you mean:) I might try to write like a diary entry first person. Like still kind of a poetic but make it more clearer in a short story. Thanks, yeah, it happens a lot. I think the most hardest part is putting in effort to keep someone in your life, but also when you know it’s time to let go. Thanks:)

Wed, December 1st, 2021 11:00am

Jonathan E. Lee

I concur with Thoughts Before Rem. Were it not for the peculiar indentation, this reads like prose. But then that's kind of all "free verse" poetry to me. It's like applying a canvas filter to a photograph and calling it a painting.

Anyhow, as far as the narrative itself, it's relatable enough for many folks. The inexperience and insecurity that comes with youth and all that. In that, it's authentic enough, and writing what you find to be true is an important part of any effective composition.

Mon, November 22nd, 2021 10:06pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, yeah I thought what thoughts before rem said. I even consider writing like a diary entry next time. But like you said, free verse poem has no bounds, and when your deeply in your emotions you tend to be more poetic. I know I felt like a hurricane when i wrote this.

I am glad you found this poem relatable. I almost felt like Taylor Swift for a moment lol. This thing happens a lot, I noticed these type of situations can happen anytime and anywhere despite any age. Myself in my twenties at my college, my friends tell me similar things that this happened to them too. I am glad you enjoyed this, I felt a lot better after I wrote this: )

Wed, December 1st, 2021 11:21am

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