Sid's Law

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


 

Have you ever wondered who makes up the latest jokes? Or have you ever asked yourself where the latest slogans come from, or who invents the next weird fashions? These strange phenomenon, which we all loyally follow and use without question, seem to come at us at regular intervals yet, the sources are always anonymous.

 

Consider other areas of life where mysterious things happen to us everyday. Take driving – most people who drive have had an accident at some time. But the strange thing is, whenever you talk to someone who has been in a car accident, they assure you that it wasn't their fault but, that it was the other driver. I have never met a driver who said that they were to blame. But how can that be? If none of us were responsible for those many accidents, who was? The other person? But that would be one of us, wouldn't it?

 

Consider fashion. Over the years hair has been long, short, shaved, bleached, dangling in our faces so that we couldn't see, or cut in half, making us look like we were run over by a lawnmower. Who decides how we wear our hair? In this world of inhibition and compliance who has the guts and cheek to start these crazes? And what of the absurd clothes we are compelled to wear, for fear of standing out as different? (even though we all claim to want to be different!) Who made them do these strange things, things that they will definitely look back on one day and cringe over?

 

All these things are a mystery to me, as I am sure they are to many of you.

 

I think I may have solved the mystery. It came to me that someone is responsible for all these strange happenings. There is someone who knows the answer to these puzzling questions. He is a shady character who spends all his time arranging events as I have described. This man, who I shall call “Sid” is a genius who manages to avoid detection.

 

It is Sid who causes all of the car accidents which are no-one else's fault. It is Sid who sits in his underground office doodling for hours to come up with the most bizarre outfits and hairstyles he can, and when he creates a new embarrassing look to inflict upon us, he chuckles to himself, knowing that he has another ridiculous look to compel the crowd to embrace, like sheep to the slaughter.

 

And what of little things, like the wires of gadgets that mysteriously tie themselves into bundles overnight, or the coat hangers that multiply in our wardrobes despite the fact that we never actually buy any. And it must be Sid who leaves a thumbs down review on all the websites where everyone else is so delighted with the food or the performance or the product.

 

And so many other things are explained by the presence of Sid, the silent farter in restaurants and pubs where everyone looks at each other in innocence and indignation. The undone lids when we shake the sauce or milk, or the clothing size that is never there in the shop because Sid's minions ran ahead of us and bought up all the size 14s.

 

It is Sid that breaks all the eggs and leaves them on the shelves in supermarkets, who telephones us in the middle of the night while keeping silent and withholding his number. And recall the times when we are always just short of enough cash to pay for something, guess who pick-pocketed us? Yep, it was Sid!

 

Sid has access to traffic light controls and he always makes them turn red just as we pull up to them, when we are in a hurry to get somewhere.

 

So, next time you are forced to wear something embarrassing, or you are involved in a car accident, or you smell that pungent odour in the pub or supermarket, have a quick look around because you may just catch a glance of the master of shadows, Sid.

 


Submitted: November 04, 2021

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