I'm Just Tired Of Hearing It

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

taken from my book, "Beyond Free"

I'm Just Tired Of Hearing It

-

People would smother my hopes and dreams

If I ever had any

So I don't expect that much of myself

Faith?

I don't have any

Love?

I can't find any

Sex?

I can't go out and get it

I don't expect you to understand

You're not capable of comprehending

My reasons for being so hopeless

That it is helpless

But I understand

That I just can't be helped

Which takes away my hope forever

Maybe I just don't deserve any one

Even my Higher Power

If I had one

Doesn't even give a fuck

But I get it

I'm just "not that important"

That's what you all tell me

But all you people are

'Cause you all get when you want

Not a single disability

Preventing you from being with women

Preventing you from obtaining substantial employment

Preventing you from keeping friends

Preventing you from making new ones

Preventing you from going back to school

Preventing you from socializing

Preventing you from cleaning up your home

Preventing you from maintaining hygiene

Preventing you from stilling your minds

Preventing you from being supportive

Preventing you from sticking up for yourself

Preventing you from hearing voices

Preventing you from staying in reality

Preventing you from humbling yourselves

How can I not be so desperate?

How can I not be so faithless?

How can I take any risks

Without losing all that I have

And becoming homeless?

But I'm forcing myself to try

And at least find out

If I can work again

So people can stop calling me "worthless"

And "lazy"

And "good for nothing"

And stop telling me that I should be

Ashamed of myself

For not trying

And for giving yup on myself

For people to stop saying

That all I do is sit on my ass

I don't get credit for writing 72 books

And publishing them online

Nor do I get credit for all my

__online recorded music demos

Not even my graffiti

Not even pictures, nor videos of life

Thee only thing that's gonna give me

Any credit, at all

Is a job

And if I only make enough for spending money

Well, what more do you want

Out of a schizophrenic anyway?

-

10-27-'21

D. L. Cannon


Submitted: November 07, 2021

© Copyright 2021 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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Comments

olive tree

man if you haven't read Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky, I think you really should, you would love it, maybe even more so The Underground Man. Brothers is great too, but it's long as fuck.

All the best!

Sun, November 7th, 2021 4:20am

Author
Reply

Yeah, I'm not much of a reader. My attention span is shit, and and I have no patience. But I'll definitely check out that essay.

Fri, November 19th, 2021 2:28pm

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