Just my Thoughts

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

As what my title says, these are just the thoughts that bother me every time I did something unacceptable to others. I just want to relieve the stress and to clear my mind.

Hello everyone! I don't know if there'll be anyone to read this essay of mine. Please bear with me. English is not my first languange but I will try to be comprehensive as much as possible. So yeah, here I am. I am here in the stock room sitting on this plastic chair while I am doing this writing of mine. I really want to express myself that is why I decided to write. I am 23 yo and I just graduated last year. I am away from my family because I am working. I've been a working student since high school until college. It was hard but I was able to do it (Kinaya ko in my native language). All my life I have been passionate, hardworking and I believe I always do my best but it feels like it is not yet enough. There are always loopholes and when someone noticed it and pointed it out, I felt so small that I want to curse on myself. I know it is not a good thing to do and it is not healthy for my mind but I can't help it. I am not really satisfied of what I am at right now. I really want to help my family but how can I help them when I cant help myself either. I have a job that I really don't enjoy doing and whatever I do to make it myself better when it comes to my job; I always fail. I am a failure. I am thinking, maybe I was being punished by the High above because I just keep on whining? I am a jealous person and I know that it is bad. I am jealous that my friends and classmates are doing better than me. They seem to be enjoying the situation that they are in right now. I know that they surpassed obstacles to reach the position that they are in right now. But I just can't help to be jealous. I always have these thoughts that maybe if I don't have an obligation to fulfill to these people who helped me to finish my schooling, maybe I am happy right now doing some work that I am worthy too. Hayst, I don't know really. If only I can restart... Speaking of IF, I have many IFs. And maybe those Ifs  will be my next content. I will create a story about those IFs. Sana soon pag hindi tinamad...


Submitted: November 07, 2021

© Copyright 2021 itsjustme1998. All rights reserved.

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Comments

olive tree

Your writing is clear. It’s quite good, actually. My only suggestion would be to separate paragraphs to make it easier to read.

IFs are regrets, and regrets are not worth dwelling over. You’d best try to live in the moment. I say that but I struggle taking my own advice.

All the best

Sun, November 7th, 2021 9:24am

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