Singlehood

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

The loops of dating at 40

“Singlehood”

I never imagined I’d be single for nearly the length of a two-term presidency.

In my 40s, this sort of scenario seems crazy.  I sound like those toys where you push a button and predictably repeats something like:
· Maybe you’re way too picky?
· Should I try online dating again?
· Friends want to set met up with this guy despite the fact that he lives in Canada?.Funny because the only Canadian I’m attracted to is taken (and running the country).

In an effort to answer this question for my own sanity and to satisfy my curiosity, I’ve plugged a few lines of why I’ve been primarily solo since 50 Shades of Gray and Mad Max premiered in 2015.

First, the pitfalls of binge matching…Tinder and its competitors have made dating harder.  We’ve traded in quality for quantity, and convenience of hiding behind our thumbs. To weed-out through the ‘hot, not, maybe’ photos for the validation of our own looks by a stranger’s swipe.

When finally somehow graduate from the idle chit-chat phase to meet-up, the logistics become comical. “Sorry, I don’t get it? You get a nosebleed if you go below the Westside?”, “Wait, you live in Australia?”, “Your teeth are missing”, “You are in an Open relationship?”, “You did jail time?This’ll never work.”

Human evolution hasn’t prepared us for the massive, social, and technological shifts of the last few decades. In writing, doing the dating homework and seeing who else is out there sounds smart. But, in practice it’s exhausting.

Even if I genuinely enjoy going on alcohol-infused interviews, or contribute to my coffee addiction,  I can only do it for so long before it feels like Groundhog Day. “So, cats or dogs?” “The beach or the mountains?” “Favorite hobby?” Oy.

Compounding this perfect shitstorm of left - right swipes, man-shortage, and burnout…

Some people would rather pass the time with a partner they don’t see a future with. Personally, I prefer to be single, than in a half-assed relationship.

Over the years I’ve parted ways with some truly wonderful guys because I knew I couldn’t match their level of interest in me. Call me "a runaway" from settling or being ‘picky’.

Of course, these six years have taught me a lot about myself and what kind of person I should be on the lookout for. I just know I needed to be single for an absurdly long time to learn hard lessons about life that could not be learned any other way.

I also know that it feels lonelier to be with someone you don’t truly connect with.

So what I’m left with is hope in the universe; even if it, like me, can be annoyingly unfashionably late.


Submitted: November 07, 2021

© Copyright 2021 Rosy Rogers. All rights reserved.

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