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Reads: 170  | Likes: 4  | Shelves: 2  | Comments: 3

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Writers' Tree House

Life is beautiful!

From the unlocked window,

 

A thin drop of water falls on me.

 

With a gentle breeze blowing,

 

The trees come closer.

 

Even though the past is cold and tingling,

 

The burning sensation in the heart,

 

Is immediately rising.


Submitted: November 08, 2021

© Copyright 2022 nikappuhamy. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

DiyaSL

Nice one. Your perspectives of life is always well described. A little rhymies would make it more better. Keep it up =)

Mon, November 8th, 2021 7:39am

Author
Reply

Rhymies! = ) Thanks buddy..

Sun, November 7th, 2021 11:45pm

Genzu4750

Ahh! I do love your work, as it gives me something to twist with my perception of the world.
What really put me off here was the absolute lack of rhyming, but it isn't a requirement. #the only rhyme I could find was 'breeze' and 'trees'#
I do like that you mentioned trees, as they're traditionally a symbol of life and growth.
And I would suggest sticking to poems with a few stanzas, just so that you can clearly get your premise across ,as it is incredibly hard to find the right words to simplify down everything into but a few lines. Poems that are brief yet communicate the message tend to hit harder and are easier to remember.
So try writing some longer poems, unless of course you can make the brevity work.

I also really liked the line 'the past is cold and tingling', but because it made me think of my view, probably not your intent.

How you say

'...'

Mon, November 8th, 2021 5:45pm

Author
Reply

Thank you for you (long) lovely comment.. =)

Mon, November 8th, 2021 4:55pm

Thoughts Before Rem

This was beautiful. I would love to give a more in depth comment but there is no need. It is beautiful. Thanks for writing.

Wed, November 24th, 2021 8:35pm

Author
Reply

Ooh! I'm so glad that liked this..

Wed, November 24th, 2021 4:06pm

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