At Nights and All Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

A struggling young woman tries to find a way to be at peace with her dreams.

At Nights and All Alone

She was trying to sleep. The neon lights coming from the window fall on her face. A dozen of freckles are below both of her eyes. Inside the white sheets, you could see that she was breathing nervously. Her wavy scarlet hair falls down from the pillow to the cold marble. There was a couple of almost empty pill bottles on the bedside table.

Her phone started to ringing, she suddenly open her eyes like she was waiting for good news. Reached to the phone and answered the call. She smiled with amaze. Sat on the bed and turned on the reading light on the all-white bedside table. Now we could see her eyes’ colour, a mesmerizing blue with dozens of green dots, like a reef in the tropical island.

Her voice was like it was from an ancient tavern singer’s voice. Beautiful, but dreamy at the same time as she speaking on the phone.

She hopped down off the bed, and felt the pain of a broken wine bottle on her foot. She screamed, then fall to the floor. It was not a big piece that stuck inside of her foot, but still hurt. Carefully took off the glass, and put the white sheet on her foot. The sheet turned red immediately. She looked upset because she loved her white sheets, she was feeling like an angel while sleeping in them. Then, she looked around and slowly stood up. Jumped on her sound foot to the bathroom, and cleaned the blood stains on her foot, and applied a band aid to her foot. Then she looked at her reflection on the mirror. She realized her nose was a bit small. She looked exhausted. She washed her face a couple of times, still the exhausted face didn’t come off. She couldn’t sleep for weeks. She needed the pills. She was Sophie.

She wore her least favourite jeans and a jacket. She got of the loft. The rain just stopped and the streets were covered wet. The dark night was enlightened with the neon lights on the buildings. She put the jacket’s hood and started walking around the tall apartments. Then, she arrived in a subway. She looked at the destination, and found the station “Cave Burn”. That was the place where she and Ryan exchange the magical drugs. She hopped into the first train that came.

Cave Burn was a small neighbourhood in which uncanny people live. The houses were not tall at all, she felt like an alien every time she walked on these streets. She kept her head down and just walked.

Ryan was older than Sophie, and everybody in the town knew about him, or at least heard about his legacy. Sophie met him a couple of months ago. She was working in a pharmaceutical giant, and Ryan was there to sell his drug. Sophie couldn’t accept his offer, but he left a bottle of the magical drug anyway. She didn’t take it to the experts, but she used it because he told this was the best way to dream. Indeed, it was the best way, but she wanted to have more. In the last two months, this was the fourth time that she was in this neighbourhood to buy this magical drug.

She had numerous dreams, both beautiful and scary. She could control her dreams, and she could dream about whatever she wanted to dream. She just couldn’t have enough of it. She sometimes take a couple of pills, and this way she was in control of her dreams more time than usual. However, this honey moon only took a couple of weeks because after some time, when she decided to dream on her own, she could not. She couldn’t fall asleep, and waited all night. Counting the sheep, listening to relaxing music, chamomile tea…none of them helped. Sophie went to work with a pair of purple eyes, and an exhausted body. Her work performance decreased as she continued not to sleep. At some point, she couldn’t control herself, and had a panic attack at work which caused her a full week rest at home. She slept with extreme painkillers, but she wanted to have dreams. Those painkillers caused her to lose her appetite for everything. She had to find where Ryan was because she needed those magical drugs. After a couple of failed attempts, she found where he lived. She went there, and met with him, and asked for drugs. He didn’t wanted to give, but she wanted to buy them. He gave the drugs by stating they should be used wisely. She had the pills while she was going to sleep. She dreamed whatever she wanted, and however she wanted. She was a dragon which flied over the moon. She was a soldier who defused the bomb in the last second and saved millions of lives. She was a unicorn which wander on the rainbow. She used every detailed to make her dreams more exciting. After a while she was short of the drugs again, she went to Ryan. Ryan said this time these drug would cost more. She agreed. This went a couple of weeks, she bought the drugs, had dreams, then went to him, and he raised the prices, she bought. A full circle. Again and again. She was short of drugs for the three days, but Ryan said there were none left. She didn’t know what to do. She bought every red wine in the liquor store, and drank them to fall asleep. She couldn’t. Then she laid down on her back, closed her eyes to think about her dreams, until Ryan called her back.

She knocked the door twice, then thrice. Ryan opened the door, his eyes were too blue that they were glowing in the orange street lights like there was an explosion on the sea. He asked her if she had the money, she nodded affirmatively. Ryan gave the half empty bottle, she gave the money. Her eyes were smiling as he closed the door. She put the bottle in the jacket’s pocket. Then used the same route to get back home.

She came, and opened up another bottle of red wine while taking the four pills. She had never have this much before. She fell asleep. She was in control of her dream. She didn’t know what to do this time. She was a hero, she was a villain, she was a man, she was a dragon, she was a tree…She was everything once again. She exploded the buildings, she burned the people, and she did whatever a man could do in his life. She did everything ever existed. She felt disturbed. This should be the key to her happiness, not her boredom. She wanted to wake up, but the effect of the four pills were too strong. She was in green grass barefoot, but there were nothing around. An immense sea of grass. She began to lose control of her dream. The sun was covered with grey clouds, while the rain started to fall down. She wanted to stop the rain, but her powers went away. She was now a prisoner in her own dream.

She remembered everything that she have done in her dreams. She felt unhappy because she knew none of this would have happened in the real world. She could never be a dragon in the real life. She could never live in a house that it’s front garden looking at the mars. She could never be with the ones that she loved.

She was still getting wet under the rain. She felt cold. The thunderbolts started to hit the ground. A loud humming of the wind was almost deafening. She now couldn’t hear own thoughts.

At this very time, she remembered a song. She heard it long ago, when she was all alone in the house, watching the raising full moon. Dreaming about the dragons. She could finally understood the life she was having. She understood the values of things, she understand everything implies at each other. Black and white were there together, one couldn’t live without any of the two. The life and death were there to value each other, without death life would be meaningless, without life death would have meant an escape door. But everything was in the world, had its own value, and they were not unlimited. She could have continued to dream like she was having in the last two months. But she would forgot about herself in this way. She would have created a reflection of herself, and put her into her dreams having whatever she wanted, but in real life, her flesh would have rotten.

She laid down on the grass. The rain fall on her, while the thunderbolts hit nearby. She closed her eyes. Felt the rain water with her all body. She heard the loudest thunder with the fastest wind. She did not scared. Let her body feel the rain drops, and the electricity of the thunderbolts. Her hands started to tingle, as the strongest thunderbolt hit her in the heart.

She woke up, as she saw lighting hit the building with the neon lights. The power cut off. She was on tears and covered with sweat. She felt her existence into deep, deep down, far, far in.


Submitted: November 24, 2021

© Copyright 2021 onurrcsknn. All rights reserved.

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