My Web of Births - 1972 Journalism Evidence

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Journalism - Freelance Writing SHARON M. IVANOV

Governors State University

Professor Rick Issiacson ext. 2384 1972-1973

 

I'll never forget that look in her eyes as tears ran down her face, sobbing hysterically as she told me that on her way to school, the neighbors laughed at her and called her names.

 

 “Sticks and stones will break bones, but names will never hurt you,” So I said but I knew it wasn't going to be easy for her to understand, much less know how to cope with people like that, she was only eight. There was always competition for her, being the oldest, she was responsible for her sister and two brothers, so she had to be tough.

 

Society  provides a complete and in essence custodial culture for each group it is forced to keep out of the way. It is a culture of busy work and make believe and distractions.   Society is very clever and always has been. Each has its own set of opinions, prejudices, tastes and values. You and I are here concerned only with the cultures of women. society remember, is above men and women: it acts in men and women.  The culture of women consists in many things - products as well as attitudes, but attitudes mostly. The attitudes generate the products and the products utilize the attitudes. The most overriding attitude is summed up in a cult word: "home." 1

 

We are concerned with adults,  (like my neighbors)  and much of their frame of reference will have been determined by the type of world they grew up in. Women received the vote of 1920, and persons born at this time were only 25 yrs. old at the end of World War II. 2  Furthermore the major impact of industrialization did not really start until around World War I. Persons much older than 25 years were raised in a situation, where rules and expectations were quite different than they are now. 1

 

Once upon a time before machines women and adolescents were needed and used to the last degree in the economy. Women were not educated because an unautomated house requires a workhorse to maintain it. 1 Self-oriented women, was conceptualized as embrossing the achievement orientation of our culture seeking fulfillment through the maximization of her own potential, rights, needs, obligations. Finding a husband a supporter for your family was the most important goal. motivating the individual to do well in any achievement oriented situation involved the intelligence and leadership ability. 4  At the same time double-bind behavior developed by men and women in these characteristics:

 

Women

Contradictory, confusing higher anxiety test scores.The girl motivated to achieve is defying conventions of what girls “should do”. Result: the intellectual woman pays a price in anxiety.4

 

Men

Lower test scores in anxiety. Boys do not experience this ambivalence because they are encouraged to do well at all times. 4

 

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much. And the times were those when the environment provided enough struggles for the family to support the home. The attitudes and behaviors of each member became the only solidarity of that home. But a nation's humanity must be measured by how it treats its women and its aged as well as by how it treats its racial and religious minorities. This is not a good society in which to grow old or to be a woman and the combination of the two makes for a poignant situation women today live longer and the child bearing sooner than they did in the last century.6  “And why not,” I said thinking that I was speaking directly to my neighbors,”the social norms control factors for the legitimate expectations and nevertheless ultimate consequences of the only two role theories for us women.

 

Those being:

 

Role consequences being:

WIFE

a. Separation

b.. Divorce

c, Widowhood

 

MOTHER

A. Should be very flexible & change

her expectations of her children as

they mature- (or else a rigid

personality results robot adult

children, being dependent on her. )

 

B. To the extent that they no longer

act this way she is likely to feel

resentfful since women are not

allowed to be hostile towards

her children so she may turn

the resentment inward and

become depressed.

 

 

Role and self-concept are intimately

interconnected…., the loss of either

one of these roles

(makes the experience indivisible)

might result in a loss of self-esteem.

So women like men create

“defense mechanisms” with

individual character to cope with

the various challenges to the

“home” structured values.

However, if one defends by

doing, one can manage very

society, barring

physical illness, until

retirement for men or the

departure of children for women.

6

 

There   they   are,   Mr.  Mrs. Right,   (  my  Neighbors  )   on   “T.V.”

 

Mr. Right satisfactorily meets his demand

consistently involved in his environment,

too busy to worry in nothing less then

fulfilling economic support for the family, the home.

 

Mrs. Right gets over as an actor, let alone a

housewife always brooding over troubles,

typical distress feeds itself, putting

things off, letting things slide by.

 

 

Ironically light sequence of events are dramatized through

imagery deprivation or imagery of enhancement or the reality of both.7

 

Mr. Right Realizes what find she is in proposes marriage then

supports the marriage and his family's thereafter.7

 

As soon as Mr. Right comes along, she handed in her

resignationl, put the finishing touches on her hope chest,

and made plans for the wedding. After honeymoon,

she devoted her life, to physical, intellectual, spiritual

needs of her family. 7

 

 

So the burden of happiness in the home is relative to the future channels of personal gratification of both wife and husband, based on circumstances and situation of the society in which they exist. Our soaper could detail the pitfalls of society's alcoholics. The scene would be perfect as I recall...., temptation and its greatest, were those days of Prohibition, after World War I.  This soaper could also show the realities and myths of employment. The changes in the labor force between 1920 and 1970 demonstrated by numbers the significance in the struggles for survival, increase cost of living and slowly changing values for the industrial family.

 

The change was here but you couldn't prove it by the young women who entered the workforce, yet didn't have intentions of remaining long. Life's tragedies the hard times then, couldn't avoid the consequences of penniless, widowhood, or a broken marriage that forced her back into the labor market, " whether or not " society prepared her through education or through the industrialization of having an opportunity for her when she gets there. In either case, she was pitied and we can draw our soaper into the Vietnam War, or the times of the “marriage squeeze”. Economically speaking the working wives brought their families income levels just above poverty level.The American payroll for the women was 58% of a man. Our soapers cover up well in this area, just as the most of the changing times of society when statistical evidence stated that there weren't any victims of discrimination.11

 

Mr. Right achieved more, thus was paid more for his success.

 

Mrs. Right was more likely to be sick, because she lacked the approprate qualifications.

 

 

Ironically, the cause relates again just as Society did to the needs ideology where rewards are allocated on the basis of needs, not on the basis of performance.The gaps between objective discrimination and awareness of discrimination was bound to close, but slowly as the time changed with society. 

 

Mr. Right’s income had to provide for the basics, housing, transportation, clothing, food. Less concerned with the hygienic aspects, more being self-actualizing. 12

 

Mrs. Right worked for pin money. She socialized and made friends on the job. Soon became more tolerant of shift work, less concerned with getiing ahead.12

 

They were identically uneducated and the minds of the uneducated young were alike in illiteracy, ignorance and prejudice.Witnessing a soaper like this it is common to ask yourself, “Why should this be-only the experience of society can explain.” In this sense, neither “home”, nor “children”, nor “homemaker” has any reality at all. A person is justified by the quality of his life- but a daydream is not a life no matter how many proposed to declare it so.1 This is our problem, but no one asked the question.The problem of a majority giving its credence and it's loyalty to a daydream, or a “soaper”.1

 

But the burden of the act is obvious:  here's the world, here are the human beings, here is childhood, here is struggle, here is hate, here is old age, here is death. None of these things are fantasy, a  romance, or a sentiment, none is an imagining;  all are obvious. Unlike Blacks, who can indeed develop a separate mode of life, woman as a group cannot. In the core of their lives, they are deeply involved with men ( whereas blacks are not inevitably tied to whites )

And that the nature of their bond is such that, for many women, and overt attacked upon the male establishment is not possible.13

 

Mr. Right expressed his style in a more easy going direct, uncomplicated way, as society gradually improved his status.14.

 

Mrs. Right wa encouraged from others, relationships between expectations and performance, individualistic interest help not to view herself as submissive and suggestible.14

 

 

Female leaders tend to express the forceful, effective and socially ascendant style in an earnest, sober-sided and ambivalent manner; thus some jobs for women had high social status.Between 1917 - 1964, 70 women had served in congress, half had relatives there - or appointed or elected to fill a vacancy. During the 1950s and ever to assimilate the idea that married women could work - if her family came first, but in research she would describe as rare and maladjusted. Mrs.Right being a " blue collar girl " as myself, choose from these female-oriented positions, as secretary, teacher, beautician, and housewife.The recognition of obstacles to prevent the achievement of her desired role is quite realistic, with marriage and lack of education as the chief deterrents to the desired goal.Woman were created to be dependent on man;  their education and training must prepare them to find and keep husbands. So it's no wonder when statistics bore out that there were no creative women.

It is sad, but not surprising that the 19th century women writer dared to describe childbirth, much less sexual passion. The fact of the matter is that there are no great women artists, as far as we know, although there have been many interesting and good ones who have not been sufficiently investigated or appreciated - or any great Lithuanian Jazz pianists or Eskimo tennis players, no matter how much we might wish there had been.19

 

That this should be the case is regrettable, but no amount of manipulation the historical or critical evidence will alter the situation: neither will accusations of male- chauvinist, distortions of history and obfuscation of actual achievements of women artists( or black physicists or Lithuanian Jazz musicians).Where there is a need there is a way institutionally speaking: once the public and the authors themselves demand more realism and range, then boys in drag or piping castrati could offer, a way was found to include women in the institutional structure of the Performing Arts even if in some cases they might have to do a little whoring on the side to keep their careers in order. Disadvantaged may indeed be the excuse for Mrs. Right, it is not, however, an intellectual position. 

 

Thinking women have come to believe that the major reason for social, economics, and political muddle in the world, is precisely men's one-sided assumption of decision making and responsibility.20

 

Mr. Right Job turnover was ignored very comfortably.

 

Mrs. Right's status around the question of what she might do if she got married or pregnant. 20 

 

 

 

As far as law was concerned woman were beneficiaries rather than the victims of discrimination or of protection. 21Voting rights, jury service, right to separate domicile, citizenship, change of name upon marriage, all the way up to the right to vote- were perfect plots for a work-a-day soap operas.22

 

Especially accented were the views of health and sex. If she does not take the advantage of the mystery and confusion surrounding the term to believe that perhaps she has indeed a vaginal organism, she may feel compelled at least to pretend she has.  If not, she must submit to being called frigid or infantile by professional name calling psychologists, doctors, and all who will listen to them, and she must risk the displeasure and reprisal of her mate.23  Society and religion pitch in the taboos to make her feel restive, cramped, embarrassed and unclean. 24

 

Soon, Mrs. Right, becomes emotionally unstable and intellectually unreliable.

 

At this point in time,  society's marital roles were indeed questionable. The amusements of the girl cannot become recreations of the wife.  They will settle for “a good provider”, only when attractive alternatives become available do many find that they want more.Ads created to create unconscious associations between merchandise-deep seated fears, sexual desires, needs for identity, self-esteem, induce people to buy products and search for gratification no product can provide, but promises to fulfill. 26

 

Exploitation as the process is called, children, older people, women, all suckers, that have no experience individual or historical to guide them when the consumer cornucopia suddenly developed after World War II. 26

“Mrs. Right,“ they would say, “Brand X  makes you sexy.”

If you don't use this, "he won't want you." 26

 

Many women, men, experience society in the same ways. Those that feel family commitment, those that feel career involvement, if marriage share the rights and duties of both - Is a struggle of compromise, - towards ( 1 ) their ages of children ( assuming choice available to only those lucky enough in the society of birth control).  (2) wife’s demands and/or by the husband, society, friends, family, and business associates, if any. When one or more of these factors - is out of kilter - the wife makes the necessary adjustment, to manage roll strain. 27

 

Mrs. Right would say, “His career is the primary one.” - like a good actor or neighbor would say. It should be noted that in no instance did any of the wives desire to be more successful than their husbands.” 28

All the “Right” families, just like my neighbors, the actors, the writer, artists, were in society.... motivated to achieve and perform in some spears with the same skills as men. Aspects of ideology, conflict and change. 29 

 

The values of the complex American culture include equality, as well as discrimination, justice as well as entrenched privilege, cooperation as well as competition, a sense of mission, as well as the quest for material wealth, and above all, a belief in change, as well as in tradition. At present our faith depends upon which values and institutions we choose to “honor’ most.  Institutions are the various forms in which the social life of a people find expression. Some it will take for granted as a matter of custom; others it will adopt of its own choice;  and yet others will be imposed upon it by authority. 30

 

Individuals are subject to the Nations institutions, but the institutions themselves exist ultimately - for the sake of society whose welfare they promote,....

“their Distinguishing characteristic is that they all proceed, in the end, from the human will.” 30

 

And Just like Mr. Mrs. Right, my neighbors living - through the image of the soapers, living all under the cloak of the honorable, excluding of course, the dishonorable.

 

“A man's honor finally and irrevocably lies in the hands of his woman,”  since men are considered to be masculine and honorable only when they can control their wives and all female relatives in such a strict manner that the women behave appropriately and never acquire a dishonorable reputation in the community. 31

 

 A woman becomes dishonorable when she behaves like a man, enjoys freedom, especially sexual freedom. 31

 

The soaper never has an ending, at least not here in America, home of the free..., turning the channel of society into the sub and cross-cultural variations, where predominantly sexual puritanism prevails, here civilizations were dominated by men. The women were treated as property, valued for their child bearing functions which at the same time they regarded as a handicapping weakness. 30

 

As, Mr. Mrs. Right would say, “Life in America Is a change for the best!”

 

That is to say, best as the expression describes their standards of their society, in their soap opera at their time and life, channeled on, of course, “ the truth”, with honor among all of the best “people”.

 

But at the cost of being rude, I repeat their distinguishing characteristic is that they all proceed, in the end, from the human will. So I need not illustrate by example the human will emphasized in my advice, the human will experienced by the person who I've asked the same protecting look I seen in her eyes: 

 

(deprivation-enhancement7  attitudes supporting the pain and sacrifices of achieving a honorable behavior of which only experience can alter.

 (females Mrs. Right)

 

Or his eyes, 

(enhancement-deprivation) attitudes in which initial success, pleasure, excitement is followed by failure, loss, or “settling down". 

(males- Mr. Right)

 

Reality suffered by those who know nothing about human will, it's course of truths, and the price of honor among the “best” people. The crying look in her eyes as they face their struggle, with a disadvantage from the get, if you're looking into the eyes of the poor, the outcasts, dishonorable, aged men or women. and as Mr. Mrs. Right would say, " They live on the other side of the tracks... I know exactly how it is. Their girl walks by here to school each day. "

 

Certainly a morality which considers the worth in life of others grows out of the ability of individuals to feel empathy and act altruistically.Through the soapers we.. “ fail to see that enmity has its roots deep in the social process, that it is frequently the result of economic exploitation, and that the stereotypes which foster intergroup differences referred back to the situation which man exploit other men, often with hatred or aggressive feelings, but rather with little awareness or feelings for the exploited. 33

 

It's a part of a backlash we are still undergoing in reaction to the first feminist movement. 34

The few strong models allowed girls growing up in the 50-year silence, have been carefully chosen ones, like Eleanor Roosevelt, of the altruistic feminine tradition, as opposed to the healthy selfish Giants of the radical feminist rebellion. How did the Myth of Emancipation operate culturally over a 50-year period to a anesthetize women political and consciousness? 34

 

In the 20s eroticism came in big. In the 30s after the Depression, women sobered. Flapperism was obviously not the answer; They felt more hung up and neurotic than ever before. But our soaper, “ with the myth of emancipation going full blast, women dared not complain.”   “If”, said, Mr. Mrs. Right, “They had gotten what they wanted, and were still not satisfied then something must be wrong with them.” Secretly they suspected that maybe they really were inferior after all. 34

 

Or maybe it was the social order: they joined the Communist party, where once again they empathized mighty with the underdog, unable to acknowledge that the strong identification they felt with the exploited working class came directly from their own experience of oppression. In the 40s there was another world war to think about. the 50s was the bleakest decade of all, perhaps in some centuries for women. All authentic knowledge of the old feminist movement by the time had buried, and with it the knowledge that womens present misery was the product of a still-virtuous backlash. But the boys couldn't take it! In the 60s they split. By 1970 the rebellious daughters of this wasted generation no longer, for all practical purposes, even knew there had been a feminist movement.

 

And neither do 8-year-olds, " say I in any society have much to say about prejudice they face as they mature in today's reality. From my research one could plainly see this consequence is only an emotional one for the real harshness awaits in the social obstacles of the realities and the social order.

 

Through the list of the TV Soapers reality like experience of these consequences can be only a reflection of how one copes with these consequences.

 

 

Sharon M. Ivanov

1972-1973 

Governors State University

 

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