Dinowar

Reads: 6035 | Likes: 8 | Shelves: 5 | Comments: 18

School's over for the year. Melody, Erin, and Jasmin are excited for summer vacation. But, how exciting can their vacation get when prehistoric aliens invade Earth?

Science Fiction dinosaurs

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1 I hopped into Erin’s car and buckled my seatbelt. “‘Sup, Melody. How was your day?” �... Read Chapter

Chapter 2

chapter 2

“YOU HUMANS, GET OUTSIDE NOW!” a deep voice echoed throughout the mall. “T’hell?” I said and looked around at the confused ... Read Chapter

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 “What’d you think ‘bout the triceratops?” Erin asked and took a bite of her toast. “I dunno. I guess he’s t... Read Chapter

Chapter 4

chapter 4

“Oh my God!” Uncle ]Matt exclaimed after Erin, Jasmin, and I told him about the velociraptors and the pterodact... Read Chapter

Chapter 5

“I’M FREAKIN’ SICK OF THINGS CHASING US, AND IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU, IDIOT!” I shrieked. “Chill,” Uncle Matt sn... Read Chapter

Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6 That night, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. Uncle and Jasmin were sleeping on mattresses from their beds l... Read Chapter

Chapter 7

“And now for the weather, Terry,” the newsman said. “Dork,” I said as a man with geeky glasses and black, combed hair appeare... Read Chapter

Chapter 8

Later that day, Erin and I were playing Sonic Riders in my room. “Dija watch the asinine newsmen today?” I asked as Erin b... Read Chapter

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9 “T’hell?” I said, and Jasmin ran in. The liquid from my lava lamp jerked from another thump.... Read Chapter

Chapter 10

chapter 10

A raptor made for Jasmin and me, but Erin bashed its head with the bat, causing it to collapse on the concrete. Another tremor almost mad... Read Chapter

Chapter 11

Erin slammed on the brakes right in front of the emergency entrance. No velociraptors, just Chriv. No problem, right? “Just make a run ... Read Chapter

Chapter 12

“YOU WILL NOT HARM MY FRIEND!” Valdar screamed and looked at me. “Run away. I won’t let him harm you.” “But my uncle is u... Read Chapter

Chapter 13

Melody, wake up. We’re at the hospital.” I heard Jasmin say. I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me. I guess my f... Read Chapter

Chapter 14

We had to talk our way through an Army blockade surrounding our neighborhood to get home, but Uncle Matt showed them his ID with his addr... Read Chapter

Chapter 15

On the way back home, we didn’t run into Chriv and Valdar. Maybe the Army had finally got them under control. When we arrived home, the... Read Chapter

Chapter 16

A tank turned the corner. “GET OUT OF THE WAY, EVERYONE!” a voice boomed from a speaker inside the tank. I started to move, but Chriv... Read Chapter

Chapter 17

I saw Erin’s car in front of us. “Good, my family and Erin escaped,” I said and hopped off Valdar when he laid down. I hugged Valda... Read Chapter

Chapter 18

I woke up the next afternoon hungry. I slowly got up and got dressed and dragged my feet to the kitchen. I poured out a bowl of cereal an... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

Richard C. Parr

There is a lovely introduction to the character and the atmosphere. There is darkness and a retreat to the past, and you bring in many elements of the past all at once. It is a fast paced read. I can feel the darkness in the story and you have set up a promising mini-cliffhanger into the second chapter.

I am sorry to hear you have cerebral palsy. My heart goes out to you. Does it give you a greater ability to focus in your mind?
I suffered from a lack of focus during childhood because of escaping into the imagination to avoid trauma. This seems to have benefited me in ways of creating worlds in the mind, but I have had to balance this with meditation and finding a way to reconnect with my body.

Sun, June 12th, 2022 3:59am

Author
Reply

Thank you for commenting. When I focus on other things like writing, my body relaxes.
Will you read more of Dinowar, soon?

Sun, June 12th, 2022 9:23am

Ann Sepino

I'm here, finally! ^u^ Thanks for inviting me to read your story. My thoughts so far:

I like the chapter's consistency. It's fast-paced throughout, which means that we get an idea of how the rest of the story will probably be told. The dialogues are cohesive, and they also reflect the ages and personalities of the characters quite well.

And I like that you're getting to the meat of the story as soon as possible, but I also think that you can add to its atmosphere. It's best to follow the rule of "show, don't tell" for the majority of the book, because it will grab the readers' attention.

For instance, you can incorporate the characters' physical features into the scene: "Erin's long, wavy, red hair glistened in the sunlight as she nodded." (Or something to that effect.)

Overall, great job on the first chapter. I'm gonna check out the second one as soon as I'm free. Keep it up!

Sun, July 24th, 2022 2:17pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading and reading chapter 1!. So, add action to the descriptions?
Also, will you read more soon?

Sun, July 24th, 2022 10:21am

Diamonheart

Great introduction. the chapter was short and to the point, and the dialogues are coherent. certainly worth continuing

Sun, October 16th, 2022 5:47pm

Author
Reply

Thank you.

Sun, October 16th, 2022 10:50am

Raven Akuma

Love the introduction! Some great insight into the characters, a hint of backstory, and an eerie endnote. A perfect recipe for an opening chapter, lol.

Thu, October 20th, 2022 3:00pm

Vagabond77

I like it! You do a great job with detail, and the characters are relatable. As a student myself I can imagine the struggle. I wonder what the noise was. Nice shout out to an retro cartoon network cartoon! Or is it nick, I forget lol

Sat, September 16th, 2023 2:53pm