Island v2

Reads: 383  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

Feofan has to protect Kazuki. Its her single task. But no matter how hard she tries, he keeps dying. Even with seemingly infinite chances, is it impossible to prevent Kazuki's death?

Table of Contents

The Last Hour

Feofan Wright wiped her brow. She was drenched in sweat. She was lying on a beach chair by a large pool. There wasn’t a single clou... Read Chapter

Beach

The Subway car rattled softly. Kazuki and Feofan sat silently. They were on opposite sides of the car. Kazuki was wearing a black... Read Chapter

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Recent Comments

Damon Nomad

It looks like you have the setup for an interesting story in this first chapter. I would suggest that, the dialog is a bit tedious in places, not really moving the story along. You give good descriptions of the characters, and the scenes, I think it would be better to move a little faster to your hook that something strange is going on, cut down on some of the background detail and get to where they are finding themselves, realizing you dont want to give away too much. Its a good start.

Sat, May 14th, 2022 6:50am

Author
Reply

Thanks so much for the review. I appreciate your thoughts! :)

Tue, May 17th, 2022 5:30pm

Facebook Comments

Boosted Content from Other Authors

Book / Memoir

Short Story / Romance

Writing Contest / Flash Fiction

Book / Action and Adventure

Other Content by Matthew Hair

Short Story / Thrillers

Short Story / Thrillers

Book / Young Adult