Bliss

Bliss

by erikka hamilton

Inspired by the song “Bliss” by Muse

Porcelain skin made silky silver in the lamplight you struggle against my knots.  I circle the bed, hidden in the shadowy edges of the room watching you.  Duct tape across your mouth limits breathing and reduces communication to vague syllables and grunts.  I’m surprised how much I miss the liquid of your voice.  I kneel on the foot of the bed and the weight shift on the mattress swings your sea storm eyes on me like twin wrecking balls.  Recognition explodes into hope and for that moment when you’re sure I’m your salvation I know you love me as much as I love you.  I raise 6 inches of steel sharpness to my lips… shhhh. The confusion on your face is the funniest thing I’ve seen in days.  I guess it’s true, We always want the one that makes us laugh.  I crawl slowly up the bed, trailing the tip of the knife in abstract swirls from your ankle to your thigh, watching goose flesh betray your best efforts to disappear into the mattress.  I swing a knee over your chest and sit up straddling your stomach.  Meadow grass eyes flecked in gold stare up at me accusingly and I’m tempted to tell you what this is all about.  Everything about you is so easy to love.  I lean forward, right hand on the pillow above your shoulder, left hand slipping the knife into that cozy space behind your neck.  My lips brush that panting hollow where your throat meets your body.  You taste salty and smell like cinnamon.  I run my tongue in a lazy curve up the side of your neck, grinding my body against yours as eager as a whore.  Everything about you resonates happiness and even though your response is involuntary I can’t help but grin into your ear.  Everything about you is how I’d wanna be.  I want to tell you this, but instead of a whisper, I sink my teeth into your earlobe.  Blood fills my mouth and I use the point of the knife to push myself up.  You stare at me, tiny hazel mirrors holding the reflection of the horror you’ve made me.  Narrow eyes under a wild halo of dark hair, a thin line of crimson dripping from the tip of your ear poking between my lips like a pale cat's tongue.  All I’ve ever wanted was the peace and joy in your mind and as I slide silver in red stripes across your skin you give it to me.  I feel it exploding inside me and I feel alive.  But it only feels that way for so long and before your body is even cold I‘m blood-stained and alone again.  I know you never really loved me, but you were bliss baby, bliss and now I can’t settle for less.