Worms In My...

When he finally came into the house, he knew he had to get some help. He was up to here (slices hand across his throat) trying to figure out what to do about it. He thought he had it all together. However, he did not.

Not only that, but he had made a mess of things. Furthermore, he did not see another way out.
So he made the call.

A lady with a soothing voice answered on the other end of the phone line. “ How can I be of help?” she asked.

He replied. “ Ma’am, you have to help me. Please, give me some advice I can hang my hat on! I need something that can give me some peace. How soon can you get here? I am not going to last much longer.” “ Sir.” she interrupted. “ Take a deep breath, breathe in and out slowly, and count to ten as you breathe. I need you to, calm down, so I can understand what is upsetting you. Calm down, and we can talk about it. Can, you do that for me, sir?” She asked. “ Yes, I can do that.” He replied.

He looked for a place to sit. Feeling weak in his knees was not something he was accustomed to. Not only that, but he would have to clean a place off to even sit down. It had become cluttered over these past few months. The house he had lived in for years no longer felt like home. It felt invaded by..., worms.

It just was not worth it anymore. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get ahead of this nightmare. It was time to throw in the towel, and he knew it. He had been fighting it for months.
Today, he decided he was done. Tom Turkey done.

He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table, but, the cat was in that seat. It shot him a look.

The cat's name is Molly, but you would never know it. Molly didn’t answer to Molly or any other name, either.

She slid off the seat and onto the floor like liquid glass. That provoked a smile. I wish I had your life, he thought. Molly jumped up and melted onto some magazines that were cluttering the table.

If he survived this, he swore never to do it again. How many times had he said that he wondered? Too many times was the answer.

He knew he would get into some kind of trouble, again, sooner or later. Did he look for it? Did it look for him?

He must have smiled because he felt the corners of his mouth go up.

“ Sir,” she started again.“ What seems to be the problem?” He lamented, “It is the worms! The worms! I do not care what I do or how hard I try, they always come back. I have been working every day trying to rid myself of these WORMS.” he shouted into the phone. He took a breath,” All I do is work and work on this same problem, day in and day out. I have tried everything I know to try. Furthermore, I have tried anything and everything anyone else has suggested, but nothing has worked. When I finally think that I have licked them suckers and I can get some sleep. I sleep. But when I wake up the next morning and go check, THEY ARE BACK. I have done all I know to do or can do. This problem is driving me crazy. That is why I have decided to call you. You are my last hope. I need you to send somebody out here to get rid of these worms because THEY ARE KILLING ME.”

There was something odd about what he said or how he said it.

Crisis Center 101, keep them talking. There is a better than a fair chance, if you can keep them talking, people solve their current problem themselves. Just by talking it out.

She needed more information. Scared of him hanging up, she asked lightly.“Okay, sir, I am sure we can get you some help. Are these worms with you right now?” “ Yes.” He replied.“Can you see the worms right now?” He said,” No,” When was the last time you saw them, sir?” she asked.” Right before I came inside and called you.”

He goes on to explain, “On the back of the fertilizer bag that I bought from your company, it clearly states that if I am not happy, I have rights that I can exercise. So come out here and exorcise these worms, I need them gone. They are eating all of my tomatoes. I have put blood, sweat, and tears into every plant, and for what I ask you? All that hard work to be beaten by an army of mutant worms.
I mean, have you ever seen one?" He asked." No, sir, I can not say that I have." She replied.

“These things are right out of a horror movie. They have these ghastly eyes that look at me like they... could... kill... me. They give me the willies so bad I jump back every time I find one. Not only that, but they scare me so bad I am almost too scared to kill them. That is why I have called you. Come out here and do that thing you do. How soon can you get here?" He asked.

She had to stifle her laugh. She did not know how he reached the Crisis Line, but he did, and she certainly did not want to offend him because he was as serious as they come.

As bad as she hated to, She said“Sir. I am so sorry to inform you that you have called the wrong number, we are a crisis center, and we are here to help people who are contemplating taking their lives. We can not help you with your garden.

A few minutes went by. She was thinking he had hung up the phone.

"Well," he said.” If I can not get rid of these @#$% mutant worms that are eating all of my tomatoes. I will probably be calling you back." and hung up the phone.

Submitted: September 24, 2022

© Copyright 2023 Leasa Moore. All rights reserved.

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Nice short humorous story, well done!

Sat, September 24th, 2022 10:51pm


Thank you, First for taking the time to read this short story and Mostly for your generous compliment!
From: Leasa with love!

Sat, September 24th, 2022 5:41pm

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