Scattered Mind

Mike S.

Seems like I've already commented on this poem, but it's telling me I havent, so sad but excellent, JB

HOUDINI

Seems like variations on a particular theme, Nothing wrong with that. Good rhyming, which is rare sometimes. Well Done! Sometimes all your feelings won't fit in a single poem, or after you think it complete you have more thoughts to add..

Michael Chad Cleary

I am a huge fan of the rhyming pattern, it makes for a more pleasant read. I understand that trapped feeling you describe in your work. I write about that a lot myself. The emotional extremes seem to be where creativity is born--the super highs and the super lows. I wont pretend to have some profound insight into your struggle but I applaud you for being brave and channeling it through good writing.

Michael Chad Cleary

I am a huge fan of the rhyming pattern, it makes for a more pleasant read. I understand that trapped feeling you describe in your work. I write about that a lot myself. The emotional extremes seem to be where creativity is born--the super highs and the super lows. I wont pretend to have some profound insight into your struggle but I applaud you for being brave and channeling it through good writing.

TheUndyingDarkSoul

It's like you are deadlocked forever in the never ending maze of depression. It takes a brave person to express their thoughts, because the true realities of a person are always real life. What you are feeling is a battle that will never be lost or won, but writing about it shows that you are in that battle, and you are still fighting for those rare moments of hope. It's a vicious cycle, and it will feel like a recurring theme, but I do believe that you will break this cycle forever. Your rhyming shows how powerful your thoughts are, and I admire you for writing them. This is raw and powerful. Great writing. Always keep fighting Lisbeth.

Jeff Bezaire

A "Bohemian Voice" really struck me. It makes sense of many things, whether correctly or incorrectly, from many of your past and present pieces. It sounds like a restless soul wanting to be free, wanting to feel the wind running through her hair again, but traditional life, the duties of a mother and wife, have that restless soul imprisoned in a setting that saps the life from her.
Adventure is a strong mistress difficult to deny, her chant all the more difficult to ignore when stuck at home all day with an infant. I remember looking after my niece when she was an infant for only a couple of hours, but the time just dragged because there's not much you can do with them as they're still in that delicate phase of infancy. After the first year, when they're not always hungry or sleepy, then come the trips to the park and the longer outings, but that first year is tough.
It's something people don't often talk about, but having a newborn is more strenuous on a person's mind than retirement. I feel that in this piece.

Jeff Bezaire

I'm not big on housekeeping myself, but I do like to cook, even if I don't do it often.
Gender roles are overrated and pointless. If we were intended to carry out specific tasks according to our gender, we'd have come with instruction booklets. Our genitals are about the only tools men and women are given in order to complete specific tasks and even then, those tasks are optional, not mandatory.