Philosophical and mystical story connected with past desires which can lead to terrible present.

Have you ever heard dead silence? It presses on your ears so hard that you want to cover them with your fingers. But alas, I am here forever. What benefit can I get from this action?

I am walking in the old town, and there is absolutely no one here but me. In the distance, you can hear the explosions of shelling, but I know that I am out of time, and that the shelling is only a part of a small temporal layer that is not worth paying any attention to. Another war.

How many wars were,even  more there will be…

After a moment, everything went silent. What did I tell you? Eternal impersonality and grayness have reigned on this street since the day of the Big Bang, since the birth of existence and non-existence, and will be here forever...

This street remembers many things. The ups and downs of the city are reflected in it. There used to be a lot of people here, but now that eon is gone. Everything is gone. But not my life. Only now, as I look at the gray, eternal branches of November, the Cassiopeia and the Little Bear Constellation above me, I do realize that nature likes with passion coldness and destruction... Eternal, primal Chaos, devastation, frost, the realm of the Other Gods, for whom the Big Bang is just a minor mishap....

I look at the molded bas-reliefs of old buildings that remember exactly who laid them.Only lies and guile live behind every window here. I realize that they are with me forever, like the coldness of the soulless stars.

The old dead city.

In the distance, I heard footsteps echoing off the houses. I looked more closely, turning on the flashlight on my cell phone. In the distance, two feline eyes stared at me from the darkness outside. It was a very fierce look, full of hatred, anger, and contempt for me...

The cat disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Of course, it would die, as everything in the world would die, as my youth, the "Cotton" Rock Club that had once been here, all my friends and fellows, all my dreams and daring, beloved ones and cursed ones  and only the primal coldness and ashes of hope would remain...

Only I will walk here, ages will change around me, cities will rise up and disappear, civilizations will die and be born, stars will go out and flash, new Big Bangs will occur, and everything will return to primordial Chaos, but I will still walk here.

Forever.

What agony it is to see a Gothic building under a full moon with a colonnade and spires in the distance, knowing perfectly well that you will never be able to approach it, meet like-minded people, fall in love and break up, betray and forgive, cry and yell, rejoice and be sad, but live, live, live...

How lucky you all are to be alive... All is alive on earth. You have changes in your lives, but most importantly, you have life itself..

Sometimes people don't realize how happy they are....

How did it all begin? My earthly life is a  moment that I have long forgotten. I remember how I got to the Indian spirit after my death, how he asked me where I was happiest when I was alive, and, without thinking at all, I said that here, in the deserted old town, when I was twenty-five years old and when I wrote my long-forgotten novel "The Dark Cults", inspired by this deserted old town.

He sent me here, and here I am now...

Be careful in your choices. Never submit to a fleeting emotion, or you risk falling into an eternity of your joy that will bore you in five minutes. Do not repeat my fate.


Submitted: October 03, 2022

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