New Year. Old Hearts.

New Year. Old Hearts.

2022

A steamy short story and a complete work of fiction.

By Haley

I yank back one of the bars double doors and quickly move inside the warm, but crowded building. I shuffle over to a booth near the back with still a pretty clear shot of the bar and the front door. I want to see who is coming inside and where they would be sitting. It seems pretty stupid to even be here while being this worried about someone I know coming in. I just want a drink so bad. The drive here was brutal, I'm not used to long drives. I like my routine in my quiet two-states-over-from-here home. If you haven't gathered it yet, I don't care for my hometown. I lived here my whole life up until senior year. Every one here is just a little too close and on top of each other. It's one of those places where everyone knows your business. However, I am here for the holiday weekend to see my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents dearly. I just don't like to spend too much time here. In this town. I missed my boyfriend. I missed my apartment. I missed my weekly group gatherings featuring a lot of margaritas and hot tea with my girls. 

My server comes over and I order a vodka soda. I want to be drunk. Sufficiently drunk. I needed something to get me through this weekend. 

Then he walks in. 

I didn't believe it at first but it's Sam. Just my luck. I'm trying to avoid people from high school and in walks my ex boyfriend. 

He looks different. He was so boy next door and a little bit dorky in high school. He has a cute and casual button up shirt on, a little bit dressy, sleeves rolled up to the elbows showing tattoos poking out and going down both of his arms. Not full on sleeves but just some random artistic looking pieces. Some were smaller than others and didn't match up. He had a skull with dark gray shading for one, and a doodle style piece of toast with a smile for another. He has very stylish glasses on with black frames. Damn, he looks so cute - Oh my god. Stop it. 

The worst part is he has crazy black hair. It's my weakness. It always has been. I remembered ruffling it up playfully during our Junior prom dance. I didn't care for my dress or my makeup. But everything was always fun when he was around. We didn't even go to the after prom party, we just liked cuddling up and watching movies and joking around with each other all day. Sounds like a super clingy high school relationship, right? In hindsight I probably should have pursued more of a group of closer girlfriends or joined some clubs or something. Figured out how to beef up my college applications, maybe? I don't regret it, though. We had some really fun memories together. Seeing him now makes my chest hurt. It's not that I have pined for him, I feel very fondly of our memories together. We were just kids without a clue how life works, having fun together. We made out a lot. Sometimes we did hand stuff. We weren't very good at it but at the time I thought we were. I had my first orgasm when I was sixteen by myself, but after I accidentally did it to myself it started happening more with Sam. He made me come a few times with his fingers. 

I tried to look invisible while looking at my phone and sipping my drink, keeping my head tucked a little. 

I glanced up and he was looking directly at me and smiling. 

He starts walking over to me and plops himself right down in the seat across from me. 

Jesus.

"No way! Winter, how are you?"

He seems excited to see me.

"Hey, Sam! Oh my gosh. I'm doing great, how are you?"

I'm so nervous for some reason. It's just Sam.

"I'm good. Wow. I'm sorry you just look so great, I mean of course you do, but it's been so long since I've seen you."

I'm starting to sweat a little, I can feel it. Why do I feel so nervous right now? We've stayed friends on Facebook, so other than seeing a random life update from each other now and again we haven't spoken or seen each other in ten years. And his nerdy vibe is even cuter than it was in high school, he's gown into himself so well.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming? We could have made plans to catch up." He is still smiling but giving me a confused look. I wanted to tell him the truth, that I didn't ask to meet up because I typed out a hundred messages to him asking just that, I deleted every single one. I cannot tell you why I've been so anxious about seeing him. Our breakup wasn't bad, we never had a major fight or anything. We were both going to different colleges states away, we wanted each other to figure out life so breaking up seemed logical for our age and differing future plans. 

"Oh I'm sorry, Sam. I should have done that, I feel terrible. My schedule back home gets so crazy and I just got in here and got my drink. I needed a breather after the long car ride. It is great to see you, though." 

I smiled and looked him in his eyes. It is great to see him. So why do I feel sick? Also, why does he look so freaking good? 

"It's great to see you too, Winter." He smiles that adorable smile and I feel sixteen again. 

My plan to get drunk is going to have to be cut short, I don't know how long I can sit here making small talk with him before I lose my edge and say something stupid, or do something equally as stupid.

He's just looking at me, smiling. I smile back. This is so awkward, my hands are clammy as fuck. 

"So, are you staying with your parents or..?" He finally breaks the silence.

"Yes! They're old people now so they're already asleep, I figured I would stop for a drink before turning in myself." 

"I love your parents. I see them around sometimes and they always stop and ask how I'm doing." I had no idea my parents still talked to him. I feel a little sad hearing that for some reason. Probably my guilt for leaving them here since I'm their only child. I don't know what to say to him but luckily he keeps up the conversation without much effort on my end.

"So how is the big city life? Married with kids yet?" He chuckles a little bit. 

"No not even close, I mean I have a boyfriend and a great group of friends but I'm in no hurry to start that part yet. What about you? Kids and a wife? A white picket fence and a few dogs like you always wanted?" I keep my tone teasing and playful but I am genuinely curious.

"Nah. I've gotten close a few times. Nothing ever stuck though." He looks me in my eyes as he finishes his sentence. It feels like he's saying something without saying it. 

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." 

"You don't seem that sorry." He smirks at me and I realizes I'm still smiling even though what he told me isn't funny or smile worthy. 

"Um, I mean no, I am sorry. I just - okay I'm sorry, I'm so nervous for some reason." This is exactly why I need to cut my drinking short and get to my parents house.

"Nervous? Why in the world are you nervous? Because you ripped my fragile teenage heart out ten years ago?" He is still smiling and keeping his tone light when he says this to show me he's just joking. Or is he? 

"Trust me, I cried the whole drive and for several days after leaving." I laugh nervously. God. Why did I say that? I need to go now. In reality it was more like months of crying, but he doesn't need to know that. 

"Oh, really?" He seems surprised. 

"Is that so surprising?" I asked.

"Well yeah, a little bit. You seemed so eager to get out of here, I always knew the day was coming. You made sure I knew that, you talked about it quite a bit those last six months. You were out of here and nothing would stop you. Not that I blame you at all. You were always better than this place." His smiling and light tone turned a bit serious as his eyes looked down into his drink. 

"Sam I-" 

"Winter, it's okay. We were just kids. I never wanted to stop you from living your best life and achieving your dreams. I'm so happy for you." His smile was back. 

I stayed silent and sipped my drink some more. 

"Hey, this is random and I doubt you would be interested but Zane, you remember Zane, right? He's throwing a New Year's Eve party tomorrow with a few other friends and some people from our high school. Do you want to go and have a little blast from the past?" He looked hopeful I would say yes despite his effort to seem casual. I was trying to see as few people I knew this weekend as possible, so why did I want to go? I hesitated but then I heard myself say:

"Sure. That sounds like fun, actually." What was wrong with me? I had such a soft spot for this man.

"Awesome! Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow night from your parents?" I'm having some major flashbacks right now. I'm sixteen looking out my parents living room window waiting for Sam to pull up in his little Honda and take me out for the day. Or go back to his parents house and watch movies and play video games all day. 

"Yeah, that works." I'm still hesitant but I'm excited. 

"Great! I'll be there at eight o'clock." 

"This will be fun, I'm looking forward to it!" I'm not but I wouldn't mind spending more time with Sam. As nervous as I am around him it still feels a little bit like home when I look in his eyes. He's older but I can see that unsure kid, so innocent and too respectful to make a move without making sure I was okay with it. Honestly, the only reason we never had sex was because Sam couldn't go through it with it. He wasn't confident enough at the time. I couldn't help wondering what it would be like. I break out of my trance and notice Sam looking at me with that smirk again. Can he read my thoughts or something, what the hell?

"Well I should get going, but I will see you tomorrow at eight!" I gulp down the rest of my drink and start gathering my things. He watches me and chuckles a little bit. 

'What?" I ask.

"Oh nothing, you're just so -"

"So what?" I say sharper than I intended, defensive.

"You're adorable, Winter. That's what. You haven't changed at all, in the best way." 

I have no idea what to say to that. I open and close my mouth. This Sam is confident, he's blunt. He says I haven't changed but he has, in all the best ways as well. I can feel my face turning red as I stand up to leave the bar. I clear my throat to say goodbye.
"Yes well, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow, Sam." I walk out without turning around. I can feel him watch me leave, no doubt with that same smirk on his face. It was infuriating feeling like he could see right through me, like he knew the real me despite my efforts to blend into the "city life" as he put it. 

**********

Sam and I are standing in front of his parents house on their porch, the only light is the small outdoor light hanging by their front door. My back is facing the house and Sam is staring at me, standing too close to me. He takes another step, getting even closer. 

"Winter..." He isn't smiling this time. He isn't smirking. His eyes are intense, boring into me. 

I back up a little and bump my back against the house.

"What are you doing?" My voice is panicked. I am not prepared for this. He reaches out and tucks some hair behind my ear. I flinch a little, but it feels so right that I want to melt into him. 

"You're so beautiful." He says. Then he closes the gap between us and his lips are on mine. Hungry and wild. I kiss him back. I feel so good. I feel so guilty. 

He leads me to the small outdoor couch on his parents porch, I lay down on it and grab his shirt pulling him down on top of me. His body feels firm and familiar on mine. He is arousing and comforting at the same time.

His hand find the waist band of my sweat pants, he pulls the front away from my middle and slides his hand inside. I should stop him. I need to stop him. I can't stop, oh my god. It feels amazing. He is rubbing two fingers on my clit, making small circles, driving me insane. He slips one finger inside of me slowly, still teasing me. I feel like I could come already. 

"Oh my god, Sam. Please." I'm moaning shamelessly. 

"Please what, Winter? Say it." His voice is low in my ear. 

"Fuck me. Now." 

*********

I wake up with a start. I hear my parents in the kitchen banging around, probably making breakfast. I groan and roll over to try and continue my dream. When I wake up enough to realize what just happened I'm so ashamed. I have a boyfriend. I can't be feeling this way about my ex high school boyfriend. That's all he is. I've moved on. Haven't I? I can feel wetness between my legs soaking my pajama pants. I seriously need to get home as soon as I can. I committed to that stupid party tonight with him, too. I must be out of my mind. I should call him and tell him I'm sick or that a work thing came up and I need to leave early. 

I check my phone and see it's already ten in the morning. I'm surprised my parents haven't tried waking me up yet, they hate when I sleep in. We also have plans to spend the day together. 

I see that I have a message from Eric, my boyfriend. 

"Hey! How is the trip so far?" I type out a simple "It's good. I'm ready to be home."

I wait a few minutes for his response. He never responds. I roll my eyes. Eric is hard to read. Sometimes he's great and attentive and sometimes it feels like he has more important things going on than me. I throw my phone on the bed and get up to start getting ready for the day, I'm looking forward to spending time with my parents and catching up. 

I get another message. I grab my phone quickly hoping to see another message from Eric. It's a number I don't recognize.

"Hey there! I had fun talking to you last night. We still on for the party later?"

It's Sam. I have no idea how he got my number since I don't have his. Not like it's a big deal, I've had this same number since high school, he probably still had it saved. I lost some of my contacts a few years ago when I got a new phone. 

I should respond and cancel. Yes, cancel. Don't go to a party with a man you just had a sex dream about that's not your boyfriend. Make the smart choice, Winter.

Instead I type "Yes we are." 

What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously. 

He sends back a smiley face. I look up and see myself in the full length mirror in my parents guest room, my face looks like the emoji he just sent me. Oh god. This is so bad.

********

I'm getting ready for the party. It's seven fifteen. Forty five minutes until Sam is supposed to be here. I have butterflies mixed with a queasy feeling in my stomach. A drunk New Years Eve party with my ex boyfriend? This should be interesting. I can have a few drinks but not too many, I have to keep my wits about me around him. Especially after that dream. That very hot, amazing - No! Stop it! Ugh. 

I decide on a simple black dress with gold flats and gold hoop earrings. Very New Years Eve party worthy. Who am I trying to impress, anyway? Not Sam, that's for sure. 

I check myself out in the mirror. I have long dark brown hair and green eyes. I'm on the shorter side with some curves. I was never the "skinny" girl in high school but I'm happy with the way I look. Sure, I have flaws I would change if I could but this is me, and that's good enough. 

My parents are out on the couch watching TV. I doubt they will make it to midnight but they're fine with that. My dad looks at me and grins.

"Wow, Winnie! You look awesome." 

"Thanks, Dad!" My Dad is the best. Always has been. 

"You really do look beautiful, hon." My mom chimes in. 

"Thanks, guys. I'm nervous for some reason. I don't know why. It's just some people from high school." 

"You're going with Sam, though. Right?" My mom asks.

"Yeah, so?" I say. 

"Nothing, sweetie. Nothing." Her and my Dad share a look and giggle a little. What was that? I feel like everyone knows something I don't. It's so annoying. 

I hear a knock at the door. Oh my god. I really shouldn't be doing this. I can't stop myself at this point, hanging out with Sam is always a good time. I could use a good time. If I'm being honest with myself, I miss him. I didn't realize how much until I saw him last night. 

"Come in, Sam!" My mom yells from the couch. How familiar are they, anyway? She doesn't even feel the need to open the door for him? 

Sam walks in looking adorable, of course. He's so tall. He's in shape but not beefy. He looks awesome. He is wearing a black sweater and jeans. His dark hair is a little floppy and tousled, but in an on purpose kind of way. His eyes fall on me immediately and he smiles. That smile. I'm in trouble. I smile back involuntarily.

"Hey, guys." He looks at my parents. They just wave from the couch. 

"You kids have fun!" My Dad says. I roll my eyes to myself. Sam sees and laughs a little. His mood is contagious. I'm starting to feel giddy and excited about tonight. 

"You ready?" He asks me. I nod my head yes and say goodbye to my parents as I follow him out the door and to his car. He opens the passenger side door for me and motions for me to get in. 

"Just like old times, eh?" He laughs and raises his eyebrows at me. 
"You really don't have to do that." I say but I can't keep the heat off my face. 

"Come on, I asked you. It's only fair to give you the whole experience." 

"The whole experience, huh? What does that entail, if I may ask?" I'm teasing him again. I can't help it. He's so easy to mess with. 

"You will have to figure that out during the events of the evening." He says easily. 

I slide down into my seat and I watch Sam jog around to the drivers side and slide himself in quickly. 

"Zane's house is about twenty minutes outside of town, so make yourself comfortable. He bought a pretty big house out in the middle of no where." Sam tells me.

"Oh, good for him. I'm sure it's beautiful." This town, even though I didn't appreciate it at the time, really is gorgeous in its in own way. It's still home, even if I didn't feel like living here until I die. 

"You look amazing, by the way." Sam says. I can feel my face turn red again. The dream pops into my head. No. No. Stop! 

"Thanks. You don't look bad yourself." I look at him when I say this and our eyes meet. I quickly look back out my window to avoid the intensity of his stare. Right before I do I swear I see his eyes go to my legs, just for a second. No, that was a long time ago. He doesn't feel that way about me anymore. He just wants to catch up and have a fun night with an old friend. 

"So," he says. "This boyfriend. Tell me about him, how long have you guys been together?"

"Well, I think it's been about six months. We actually work together and we met in the break room. He's in a different department but we ran into each other one day and hit it off, I guess." I don't really want to talk about Eric.

"That's great. I'm really happy life is working out so well for you out there." He looks genuinely pleased for me. Like a normal friend would. Because that's what we are, just friends. 

"And you? Any ladies that will be there tonight you have an interest in? I can be your wingman." I nudge his arm playfully. 

"Nope. I'm taking a break from all of that. I just haven't had much luck lately." He sounds a bit defeated. 

"That's hard to believe." I say before I can stop myself.

"Why is that?" He asks grinning a little. Shit. I need to think more before I speak. Especially around him. 

"I just mean because, well, look at you. You're a catch. You've got the whole nerdy, cute thing going on." Someone stop me. Please. 

"Oh, yeah? Does that look work for girls?" He is smiling again, teasing me a little. 

"Big time." I say. I'm using less words from now on. 

"That's good to know. Thanks, Winnie." He looks at me again when he says this. He's calling me by my nickname now. It has an undesired effect on me. I feel a stir in my stomach. Undesired but not unpleasant.

I imagine his hand reaching out and gripping my thigh like he used to do. I Imagine him doing something else after. Winter. Stop. I let out a slow breath. I can do this. We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. 

We are on a gravel road heading up a small hill, I see a huge house come into view. It must be Zane's. 

"We're here." Sam says. 

"Whoa. Zane seems to be doing okay for himself." I say. 

"Yes, very much so. He's still single but his small business really took off." Sam seems proud of his friend. It's sweet.

Sam makes me wait while he comes around to open my door. I laugh waiting for him to jog around to the passenger side. When he opens my door he offers me his hand and helps me out. 

"You do know this is 2022, right? That could be considered offensive these days." I joke.

"You don't seem too offended." There's that little smirk again. 

We walk inside and his hand brushes my lower back but he pulls it back quickly. I pretend not to notice. As we approach the door Zane bursts out with a cup in his hand, already drunk, it appears. 

"Hey, man! Wait a second, Winter? Winnie Stephens? Holy shit, no way!"

Zane high fives Sam and then gives me a hug, careful not to spill his drink the in process.

"It's me." I say and try to look relaxed even though I'm anything but.

"She's in town visiting her parents for the weekend so I snagged her for tonight." Sam says proudly. 

"This is awesome! A ton of people are already here and I'm sure they would all love to catch up with you." I always liked Zane. He's already overly friendly but him being drunk just brings it out in him even more.

"Yeah, Winter go inside and get a drink and do a lap. See some of your old friends." Sam nudges me inside and he heads to the huge kitchen to get a drink. I follow him and make myself a vodka soda while he grabs a beer. I give him a little wave and start walking around. The whole house is huge and there are tons of people. I recognize most of them but not all of them. I start sipping my drink while I'm looking around awkwardly.

"Hey, everyone! Some of you must remember our little Winnie Stephens from the class of 2012!" Zane is much taller than me and he points down at me as he announces my arrival to the living room. Some people raise their cups and cheer and wave at me excitedly. Im starting to relax as the drink warms me and goes to my head. I was nervous so I didn't eat much today, I have to be careful tonight. 

I notice some girls I was friends with and head their way, they are very welcoming and friendly as we catch up and laugh at old memories. Even though they were my friends, it wasn't a tight bond like I have with my girls in my new city. Sam was my closest friend in high school. 

After an hour or so I'm starting to feel pretty buzzed. I scan the room and see Sam talking to a tall blonde girl, she's almost as tall as him and gorgeous, of course. I feel something come alive in me. I force it back down. He's single and you have a boyfriend, take it easy. I stumble to the bathroom for a breather. I look at myself in the mirror. In my drunken state it's harder to lie to myself, I'm not sure what these feelings are but I can't stop thinking about Sam. I want his arms around me. I want to be in his parents house, in his old room, breathing his scent in from his comforter. 

10 YEARS BEFORE:

"This sucks." Sam is trying to look strong but I can see the tears threatening to leave his eyes.

"I know." I say. "I'm really going to miss you, Sam." I reach up and stroke his face.

"Don't do that." He says and pulls away. I feel a pang in my heart.

"Sam, come on. We knew this was coming. You're going to college here and I'm leaving. We've been talking about this for months." 

"Yeah we have and I've been supportive. I still am. But Winnie, I love you. Can we try long distance? I can come every weekend or we can switch and you can come here." Sam looks hopeful and it breaks my heart. He always was more romantic and optimistic than me. 

"Sam-" I shake my head and look down. He grabs my hand and pulls me to him.

"I don't want other girls. I want a life with you. I want to marry you and buy a house with you. I want to come home to you after a long day and crawl under the blankets and play video games and watch stupid movies until we fall asleep next to each other. I want do that every day." A tear falls from Sam's eye. I am so tempted to stay here with him, I have to be strong though. For both of us. 

"I want you to go out there and get your degree and find yourself. I want that for you. I'm not asking you to stay. I just want to try.  Don't break up with me, please." I can almost hear my heart breaking. I love Sam so much but I can't do this to him, it's just going to cause more pain if I make that promise to him. A promise I can't keep. 

I reach up again and try to touch his face, he doesn't pull away this time. His eyes are hopeful.

"Sam. I love you. I'm not going to stop loving you. But we can't, it's not realistic. I don't want to make this harder than it needs to be." His face falls. If only he knew how much this was destroying me. If it was up to Sam we would live here forever, get married, have kids, never leave this town. It was a perfectly fine life, but it wasn't my life.

I kiss him on the lips. He grabs the back of my head and holds me firmly with his lips on mine for a few long moments. When we pull away he's let all the tears start falling without shame. I can feel my own threatening to spill out. Stay strong. You can do this. 

I pull away from him. 

"Goodbye, Sam." I say as I walk around to get in my car and drive away to my new life. 

"Wait." He says. I turn around. He walks up to me and hands me a folded up piece of paper. I open it and a picture falls out. It's us laughing into the camera trying to take a serious picture, we could never be serious for too long. The note says: "If you don't find what you're looking for, come home and I'll be waiting for you." This time I do cry. Tears spill down my face and we hug one more time. There is nothing left to say so we just hold each other for a few moments. When we pull apart I get in my car quickly, before I lose all my nerve. I look in my rear view mirror as I start driving away. Sam is standing behind me with his hands in his pockets, his floppy hair hanging over his eyes a little. I breathe out and let the tears come.

PRESENT DAY:

I leave the bathroom feeling a little bit better. Sam is still standing in the corner talking to that girl. He sees me watching and nods his head a little with a small smile. I don't smile back. I know it's immature and petty but I'm buzzed and pissed. I don't want him talking to her and flirting with her. He gives me a confused look and tilts his head a little as if to say "what's wrong?" I just shake my head and walk back into the kitchen. Zane and some guys are doing shots. 
"Winnie! Take this shot!" Zane hands it to me and with no hesitation I down it.

"Hell yeah!" He high-fives me and leans in. He is extremely drunk. 

"So what's the deal with you and Sam? You guys gonna have a backslide tonight or what?" I roll my eyes and start to leave. Zane grabs my arm.
"Hey, what's up? I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that, just a joke." He looks apologetic.

"No, it's not you. Sam is just flirting with this blonde girl over there and, well, nothing. He's single and I'm dating someone back home so it's a non issue." I speak too quickly. Zane stares at me like I'm growing another head.

"Dude. Sam loves you. He never stopped loving you." I balk at Zane.

"What? No. We're just friends now." I say. 

"Whatever you say Winnie." He winks at me and grabs another drink and goes to catch up with his friends. Is that true? Does he still love me? Do I still love him? Of course I don't, that was a lifetime ago, we were kids. I glance over and he's laughing at something the blonde is saying and she's touching his arm. Ugh. I'm disgusted. With myself or him, I can't be sure. 

I take another shot by myself. I'm making terrible choices right now. I was only supposed to have like two drinks. Yeah, right. Just as I'm thinking about finding a room to go lay down in so I don't have to see blondie and Sam hitting it off a guy walks up to me. I vaguely remember him from a few of our classes in high school. I think his name is Peter. 

"Hey, Winter? I think we had like science together or something Senior year. Right?" I had no idea but I pretended like I did. 

"Yeahhhh I think so. Peter, right?" I ask. I'm feeling pretty tipsy by this point. 

"Preston." He laughs. 

"That's okay, that was a long time ago." He doesn't seem fazed by me not remembering his name. He leans in closer to put his hand on my back. I'm a little uncomfortable but I hide it.

"You wanna go somewhere and catch up?" The intention is clear. I definitely don't want to do that but in my drunken brain I see an opportunity. 

"Sure!" I say more loudly than I needed to. I put my hand on his upper arm and lean in closer. I subtly glance at Sam and he is looking around the blonde to look at me. He gives me a questioning look. I ignore it and grab Preston's hand and start walking like I know where the hell I'm going. We pass Sam and he grabs my arm. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He looks concerned. 

"Nothing, me and Peter are going to go find somewhere to talk."

"It's Preston." Preston corrects me for a second time.

"Right, Preston. We had science together." I say sweetly. 

"Um, okay cool. Winnie? You have a boyfriend, right?" Sam leans in close so Preston won't hear. 

"He's not even technically my boyfriend, dude. So, I'm single and you're single. You don't see me getting all up in your face about talking to Blondie here, so just back off. Okay?" I immediately lose my edge and wish I had kept my stupid mouth shut. Sam's eyes turn hard and dark and he grabs my arm and drags me away. The blonde throws her hands up and gives me the stink eye. 
"Come with me." He sounds pissed. 

"What the hell? Let go of me." I rip my arm away as he shoves me into a room. It's a small bathroom. 

"What's your problem, dude?" I say, irritated.

"First of all, stop calling me "dude". You're drunk." He crosses his arms and stares at me.

"Second of all, what's the deal with you saying you have a boyfriend and now you don't?" He waits patiently for me to answer but his eyes never leave mine. 

I sigh dramatically. "Okay, okay. We hookup sometimes, I want to make it official but he hasn't asked me yet. So basically we are dating but we're not exclusive. He wants to see other people for now." It sounds so dumb when I say it out loud. I hate myself. Sam just stares at me but his eyes soften a little bit. 

"Are you kidding me? What a douche." He keeps staring at me. I'm not sure what to make of it.

"So were you like jealous or something? When I was talking to that girl tonight?" He looks pleased with himself as he says this. I make a face like he said the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

"Of course not! I couldn't care less who you talk to." He eyes me suspiciously. 

"Really? Because I was actually thinking about asking her to come home with me."

"Great! Do it!" I'm acting overly okay with it but inside I'm screaming. He steps closer to me and I back up into the sink. This is feeling a little too familiar to a certain dream I may have had last night. He's looking at me like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying. 

"Oh, really? Because you did offer to be my wingman and help me tonight. So can I run my thoughts by you? I want a woman's perspective." He asks.

"Yeah, go for it." I say with as much confidence as I can muster. 

"When we get back to my place I would take her into my bedroom, push her down on the bed and pull up her dress." He is so close to me. Watching my face for a reaction. I don't give him one. 

"Sounds like a nice time." I say.

"Yeah?" He puts his hands on the sink on either side of me, trapping me in.

"When I had her dress up I would kiss and lick my way down to her underwear. Then I would pull them aside and and lick her clit slowly. So slowly. Until she was begging me for it." My face was burning hot. I swallowed audibly. 

"Sounds fun." My voice is barley a whisper. Sam's lips turn up into a lazy smile. He is still reading my expression. I don't know how to handle confident Sam. Unsure and quiet Sam was my expertise. I am way out of my league here. 
"Well. You better get back to your date. It sounds like she's in for a fun evening." I try to sound sarcastic but my heart's not in it. He doesn't budge. I make like I'm going to squeeze by him and he presses his body into mine. 

"Sam-" his fingers start fiddling with the hem of my dress. My voice catches in my throat as his fingers brush softly against my upper thighs. I sigh and close my eyes. His dick is pushing into the front of me and I can feel myself growing wet and needy. Don't. Lose. Control. 

"Once she starts begging for it I would keep making her wait. I would take my time licking every inch of her pussy until she couldn't take it anymore. I would move my tongue back up her body and kiss her. Making her taste herself on my lips and my tongue. I would reach down and rip her underwear off." My god. He is so incredibly hot. I am breathing heavy and trying to keep my cool. I still have the upper hand. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it, though. 

"Then what?" I meet his eyes in a challenge. Even though I am trying to act tough I know he can see through it. He can see how aroused I am. We're in a stare off. Will he make a move? He never used to. Maybe he's all talk. He leans in and whispers in my ear. 

"Then." He says. "I would push my dick into her sweet little pussy and fuck her brains out until she screamed her voice raw." Holy. Shit. I can't do this. I want him. I want him so bad. Like he's reading my thoughts he starts pushing my dress up, slowly hiking it around my thighs. He brings his hands up to my hips and pulls my underwear down, watching me the whole time. I stand still but let him do it. I don't want to fight anymore. Without warning his lips crash into mine and he kisses me rough and desperate for a few seconds. He stops abruptly and looks at me. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. When I think he's going to say something he grabs me and lifts me up onto the sink. I yelp in surprise but instinctively wrap my legs around him. He groans and starts kissing me more. His hands are everywhere. In my hair, on my tits, on my ass. We can't get enough of each other. His pants are still on but his hard dick keeps pushing against my bare pussy while we make out. I reach out to undo his jeans but he stops me. 

"Not yet. I want to taste you first." I don't argue with him. He gets down on his knees and puts my legs over his shoulders. I'm so fucking turned on I can't take it. Without hesitation he starts licking my clit. Circling it with his tongue and sucking until I'm moaning and writhing against his face. He puts two fingers inside of me and slowly finger fucks me while he sucks on my clit. I'm panting and gripping his hair. He picks up the pace and moves his fingers quicker and sucks my clit harder until I'm about to unravel on his mouth. 

"Fuck, Sam. I'm going to come. Don't stop." He stops anyway despite my protests. I try to push his head back down but he moves my hand away and stands back up. I'm flushed and panting with my naked pussy between us while he is still fully clothed. He looks so confident, it's hot as hell. 

"Why did you stop?" I whine. He gives me that damn smirk. 

"Because I want to drive you crazy." Ugh. He's evil. I reach out to undo his pants but he stops me again. 

"Stop, Winnie." He whispers. "I'm in charge this time. I'm not the same kid you left behind ten years ago." His words sting a little but I know he doesn't mean it that way. At least I hope he doesn't. 

"No. You're definitely not." I'm still breathless and exposed with my dress hiked up around my waist. He starts undoing his pants, taking his time, of course. He finally frees his cock. It's bigger than I remember. I want him to fuck me right here. Right now. He brings it to my entrance and stays there for a few seconds. 

"God. I wanted to do this so bad all those years ago. Every time we fooled around after school at my parents house, I wanted to fuck the shit out of you. I was too scared then. I didn't want to take advantage of you or hurt you. This is okay, right?" Hell yeah it was. I more or less have been begging for it for the past ten minutes. So the old Sam was still in there somewhere. I smiled to myself.

"Sam." I said. "Fuck me. Now." His face lights up and then goes dark again. He looked so much like his younger self. Without any more games he pushes himself inside of me. I gasp and my head rolls back. 

"Shit, Winnie." He groans and we thrust rhythmically together. It feels so fucking good. I never want to stop. I don't think I've had sex like this with any of the guys I've been with after I left this place. It feels so right. So familiar. My orgasm is building again already. 

"I'm going to come." I moan. 

"Not yet, Winnie. Keep it together." He's so hot when he's demanding. 

"I don't know how long I can, I'm so close. You feel so good."

"Not. Yet." He growls, thrusting harder and faster. He brings his hands around to my ass and squeezes tight. I'm going to come apart any second. I try to hold it back. His lips find mine and we're kissing again, his tongue swirling around in my mouth. He bites my bottom lip hard enough that I taste metallic blood squirt in my mouth. I cry out but it just eggs him on. He pulls away and puts his thumb in my mouth, pushing my head back into the mirror. I wrap my lips around it and suck hard while making eye contact with him. 

"Fuck me, babe. I can't believe I missed out on this. I would have fucked you like this everyday in my car before we even left the school." He slows his pace a little bit and moves his hand to my throat and grips it tightly, making me light headed. My orgasm is building with a vengeance and there's no way I can keep it at bay this time. I'm moaning loudly. 

"You earned it, baby. Come for me. Come all over my cock and say my name while you do it. I want everyone at this party to hear you." With his permission I let myself go. I yell his name over and over again while I come harder than I ever have in my life. He groans loudly as he reaches his end at the same time, his cock empties and it drips down me onto the floor between us. Our eyes meet. We're just staring at each other trying to catch our breath. He puts his forehead against mine. 

"Jesus Christ." He mumbles. "That was amazing. I missed you so damn much." My eyes fill with tears but I don't let him see. I'm not sure how I feel right now but he's right. It was amazing. 

"That asshole you're seeing is an idiot." It surprises me that he's bringing up Eric right now. He grabs my face between his hands and looks at me.

"I would have given you everything. Everything I could." He means it, too. I know he does. 

"I know, Sam. I know that. I missed you too. So much." There is nothing left to do now except leave this bathroom and re-join the party. It has to be getting close midnight by now. I find my underwear and get it back up, fixing my dress in the process. Sam gets his pants back on and checks himself out in the mirror. 

"There's no way they didn't hear us." I say horrified and dreading walking out that door.

"That was the point right?" He playfully slaps my ass. 

"No it's not the point!" I laugh. Whatever, I don't even live here anymore. That thought brings up other feelings, feelings I'm not ready to explore yet. I'm supposed to go home tomorrow. I'm supposed to go home like this night didn't happen. I don't know if I can do that. It feels like Senior year all over again. 

We walk out together and try to keep our heads held high. A few people standing near the bathroom give us looks but other than that it's not terrible. I mean it is a party after all. I'm sure we're not the only people hooking up in random rooms in this huge house. We look at each other and smile as we re-join some of his friends.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Zane looks at us. Recognition crosses his face and he grins at me. 

"Okay, Winnie. I see you." He winks and goes on talking to Sam like nothing happened. That wasn't so bad. Sam stays by my side the rest of the party. We drink a little more and joke around. It feels like old times. I try to savor it, I know by tomorrow it will be a distant memory. When we left the bathroom there was about an hour and a half left until New Years. We watched the ball drop on Zane's giant TV and counted down together. When it hit midnight everyone cheered and confetti was going everywhere. Sam and I kissed. Some people saw and made "awww" faces. Sam was beaming but I knew better. Always the realist that I am. It wasn't going to last and I didn't want to see him hurt in that rearview mirror again.

The party died down after midnight and some people were going home or giving people rides home. Sam asked if I was ready and I said I was. We got back into his car to make the twenty minute drive home. I was so happy to be with him, but the depression was creeping up. This would be over soon. 

"So, I know you have to leave tomorrow. What time?" He asks.

"Not until the afternoon. I was going to spend some more time with my parents before I head back." 

"Can you sneak me in?" He asks. I can't stop my laugh. Just like old times.

"You bet." I respond. We look at each other for a few more seconds. He gripped my thigh the rest of the way. We didn't talk again until we got to my parents house. I was still a little wobbly but sobered up for the most part. Sam didn't seem drunk at all, which is good considering he just drove us home. We crept to my parents guest room. As I suspected they were sound asleep, the house quiet around us. I shut the door and Sam plopped himself on the bed. 

"This was your old room, right?" He asked. I nodded and started changing into something suitable for sleeping. Sam is watching me, appreciating the view with a lopsided grin. When I was done he got down into his boxers.

"Is it okay to sleep in this?" He asks.

"Yeah, of course. Just put your clothes back on before we go out there in the morning. I'm sure my parents will have plenty of comments when they see us come out together." I say. Sam laughs loudly. When I'm done changing I lay down next to him on the bed.

"I never told you, obviously, but I see your parents a lot." Sam seems embarrassed by this, or ashamed. 

"Like, how much?" I ask, a little afraid.

"Well I ran into them a few years ago and we talked for a while. Your dad can't do the things he used to be able to do so they started asking me to help out around the house. Yard work and stuff. Nothing huge. So I drop by like once a week to see how they're doing and sometimes I have dinner here." My heart softened. I felt guilty again. I shouldn't have left them here alone. 

"Wow, Sam. You really don't have to do that." I say.

"I know I don't. But they were always so nice to me and I don't know, it made me feel close to you. Like I was a part of your family, even if you weren't here." He looks sad. "Plus I care about them, they're good people." I ached inside hearing him talk like this about my parents. 

"Also, the reason I have your phone number is because about two years ago I asked your mom for it. I wanted to catch up with you and see how you were doing. I never got up the nerve to do it." I am surprised to hear that. 

"I started a bunch of Facebook messages to you but deleted all of them, so I guess we were in the same boat." I say with a little laugh. He seems happy to know I was still thinking of him.

"The truth is, Winnie, after you left I was angry. I know I played the supportive boyfriend and I was never going to ask you stay here just for me, but I was young and I felt abandoned by you. I mean you didn't text, or call, or come back to visit. It was like one minute you were here and you were mine, then the next you vanished." He was re-living the memory of me leaving.

"I really am sorry. I did love you. So much more than you know." I say. I think part of me still does. I don't say that, though.

"You don't have to apologize, Winnie. You really don't. I was young and my heart was broken, but when some time passed and I grew up a little I realized it was for the best. I never wanted to hold you back." He strokes my cheek and looks at me. 

"The reason I never called or came back to see you was because I knew if I heard your voice or saw your face I would stay here and never leave again. I needed to be on my own. Away from my parents for once, and this town, I wanted to experience life and make a career I loved. I wanted something that was just mine." I'm watching him, hoping he understands. I never wanted to break his heart. What he doesn't realize is that I broke his heart by leaving him, but even though it was my choice my heart was equally as broken. He was my best friend. 

"I get it. I promise I do. In this moment I'm happy. I know it's not going to last but I just want to be here with you. Right now." He says.

"We should talk about tomorrow." I say watching his face intently. 

"No. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just pretend there is no tomorrow." I can see that look in his eyes. It's going to break me all over again when I drive away tomorrow. 

"But Sam-" he puts his lips on mine before I can finish. 

"Don't talk. I don't think I can handle it right now." He keeps kissing me and I can feel his dick getting hard again. He gets on top of me and kisses my neck, his hand slips under my shirt and finds my breast. He grabs my nipple and rolls it between his thumb and index finger softly. I moan and arch my back up. I'm getting breathless. 
"You're so needy, aren't you? Even after what I did to you in the bathroom, you still need more. So dirty." His words are gasoline lighting me on fire like we didn't just fuck like crazy a few hours ago. 

"Yes. I want you again. I want you so bad." I'm wet already, it may be left from a few hours ago. I still want to fuck him again, regardless. He kisses my neck some more and moves down to my tits. He sucks on each nipple expertly, licking and biting as he goes. I'm squirming underneath him.

"So so dirty." He murmurs against my nipple and licks it softly. My body responds to everything he does like he was made for me. I moan loudly. He puts his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. 

"If you can't keep it down I'll have to stop. I'm the one who has to look your parents in the eye on a regular basis." He warns with a little humor in his voice. 

"No. Don't stop. I'll be quiet, I promise." There's no way in hell I want this to stop. He grabs my wrists and pins my arms above my head as he kisses my neck and tweaks my nipples with his fingers until I'm crazy with need. 

"I wish I had something to tie you to this headboard with." He says, his eyes dark and intense. 

"I want you begging for me. I want you tied up tight while I do whatever I want with you, get you close to coming and then take it away. All night long. Over and over." He whispers against the sensitive skin by my ear. Fuck. He really is obsessed with driving me crazy, and I would be lying if I said I didn't love it. The wetness between my legs is definitely new now, if it wasn't before. 

"Oh my god, Sam. Just touch me now, please." I'm doing what he wants, I'm begging. But he still doesn't give in yet. I arch my back up while his hand is still holding my wrists above my head so tight I can't move. He lets go for a second and reaches over to grab his jeans from the floor. He pulls his belt through the loops quickly and lays back down next to me. Oh, fuck. 

"This should work, right?" He smiles wickedly as he grabs my wrists again and puts them against one of the rails on the metal headboard. He wraps the belt around them both and then secures it to the headboard, tight. So tight. There is no way I can get out of this without his help. 

"Does it feel okay?" He asks. I just nod and squeak out a little moan, my mouth is dry and all I want is him to fuck me and let me come. He chuckles.

"Seems like it's more than okay, huh?" He moves his hand down to my pajama pants and pushes them down. He starts circling my clit and fingering me, it's almost painful, I want his dick to fill me up. 

"Sam," I moan. "I can't take it. I need you. Let me come." He groans at my words but doesn't change his pace on my pussy. It's driving me mad. Without warning he puts two fingers inside of me and pushes them in deep. I gasp loudly and my eyes close. 

"Yeah? Like that?" He asks. "You want more, Winnie?" 

"Yes, yes more. I'm going to come. Please let me come." He adds another finger and goes a little faster, rubbing my clit at the same time. 

"Come on, Winnie. You said you wanted to come so come for me. Be a good girl and soak my fingers with your sweet juices." His words break me apart and I come hard for the second time tonight. I can't control the scream that comes out of my mouth. He uses his other hand to cover up the sound I'm making as I buck against his hand. 

"Shhhh." He says in my ear as my orgasm dies down and I lay my head back, spent. He pulls his fingers out of me and reaches up to undo the belt that's holding my wrists in place. I rub the numbness out of them and see the red marks they left as I pulled against them. 

"Damn, Winnie. I'm sorry. Was it too tight? You could have said something." He looks alarmed, like he may have hurt me. 

"No, no. it was amazing. It was so amazing." I smile and kiss him. I start kissing him harder and using my body to push his back down onto the bed. I climb on top of him and straddle his waist while we make out. I'm grinding into him. I feel his cock growing stiff underneath me. He's moaning and running his hands all over my body.
"You are so incredibly hot." He says affectionately. "Your body feels so good." I stop kissing him and start using my mouth on his neck and chest as I work my way down his torso. He knows what's coming. 

"I want your pretty lips around my cock." He says as I'm still kissing his stomach, making sure I hit all of the sensitive spots that make him suck in a sharp breath. 

"You do?" I ask sweetly. "How much?" 

"So so much, baby. Please." He's desperate. 

"Now look who's begging." I tease. His hands are in my hair but he's not pushing me down, he's waiting patiently for me to suck him. His breathing is growing heavy and needy as I get close to his rock hard dick. I wrap my lips around it and start sucking and licking expertly. 

"Jesus, Winnie. I'm going to blow my load down your throat if you don't slow down." His words just make me suck harder. I want him begging for me, like I begged for him. He starts panting faster and harder. I know he's close. I take my mouth away and he groans in protest. 

"Fuck, baby. You're amazing." He sighs. I don't wait long, I climb back on top of him and slowly lower myself onto his cock. He inhales sharply and hisses between his teeth as I take his full length inside of me. 

"Holy shit." He says. "I just can't get enough of you."

"It's my turn to drive you crazy." I say while looking down at him. His eyes are glassy and heavy. In this moment, he's mine. "You feel so fucking good, Sam." 

"I'm going to come inside you any second." He moans. I slow my pace and pull myself off of him for a few seconds and lower back down. I do this a few times until he's panting and flushed with need.

"Winnie, please. I can't take it." God, he's so hot when he begs. 

"Come for me now, Sam." I say as I rock back and forth on his dick, stroking him with my pussy. He grips my hips so hard I can tell it's going to leave bruises as he empties himself inside of me. 

"Fuuuuuuuck me." He says as the last few drops spill out of him. When he's finished I climb off and lay down next to him. We're both panting and trying to catch our breath. 

"That was fucking incredible." He says happily. He's looking at me and stroking my hair lazily. 

"Indeed it was." I say with a huge smile on my face. He can tell I want to say more but he stops me.

"Let's just go to sleep. I want to hold you until morning." He says. He still wants to pretend tomorrow isn't coming. I'm asleep within minutes. 

***********

THE NEXT DAY

I open my eyes to sunlight streaming into the room and Sam running his fingers lazily up and down the tops of my thighs. I'm facing the wall and he's behind me with his body pressed into mine. It feels so right to lay like this with him. I stretch a little and sigh. What he's doing with his fingers feels so nice. Do we really have more in us after last night? The effect he has on me is crazy. I'm getting that need growing deep in my belly again. Do we even have time for this? 

"One more time, Winnie?" He whispers in my ear as his fingers find my waistband again. He's teasing it and running his fingers along it but not doing anything yet. 

"Yes." That's all I need to say before he's shoving his hand down my pants and playing with my pussy again. Oh god. So so good. He does that for a few minutes with me grinding my ass into his growing dick. I can feel him start to pull his boxers down, he helps me with my pants as well. Soon we're both naked again with the comforter pulled up over us. He guides his cock into my pussy and starts fucking me from the side. It's slow and easier this time. He's cupping my breast and teasing my nipple the same way he's fucking me, slow and gently. I am moaning softly and pushing back into him each time he thrusts into me. We're both getting close. 

"Winnie-" he pants in my ear. He's about to say something but stops. 

"What is it?" I ask. Still moaning and writhing against him. 

"Don't go." He whispers. It breaks me. "Please don't go. Stay here with me." He sounds so sad.

"Sam..." I start but he covers my mouth and pounds into me hard. We both come at the same time as quietly as we can. I turn over to look at him. He won't meet my eye. Shit. This is exactly what I was afraid. I don't want to do this to him again. I can't handle it. 

We get up and take a shower together. We wash each other up and clean the room from the last night. We're looking at each other a lot, but not saying anything. What is there to say? I'm leaving and he knows it. Neither one of us know when I will be back again. 

We leave the room together and my parents are sitting in the living room, they see us and then look at each other surprised. Sam and I make awkward chit chat while we all have breakfast together. Everyone knows what went down last night in that room. I clean up the kitchen and dining room while Sam and my parents chat for a while. Eventually, he says he should get going so I can pack and get back on the road. He says this casually like it's no big deal. But I know it is. He gives me a look and we walk outside together. We make our way to his car and just stand there for a few seconds. I'm wringing my hands nervously. I hate this. 

"I had so much fun this weekend." He says, breaking the silence. I smile at him. 

"I did too, thank you so much for everything." We keep staring at each other until he reaches for me and we embrace. I don't hide it this time. I let the tears fall and I cry quietly into his chest as he rests his chin on my head and strokes my hair. 

"Shhhh. Winnie, it's okay. Please don't cry." He says. "I hate it when you cry." He's holding it together this time, much better than I am. 

"I never wanted to leave you. You have to know that. This is so hard for me." I want him to understand. 

"I just need my own life. I can't explain it, I'm glad you're still happy here. It's just not what I want forever. I wish I could move you to the city with me." I say hopefully. Maybe he will come with me? We can have a life there. Together. 

"I can't, Winnie. I'm sorry... I have to stay here for my parents and my job. My friends are here. It's my home. The only thing it's missing is you." He pulls back and cups my chin and smiles at me. I see the shine of tears in his eyes. He wants to say something else. His voice is cracking a little as he speaks. 

"I love you so fucking much, Winter Stephens. I always have and I always will. If you ever decide to come home, I'll be here waiting for you. I don't care if I have a wife or a girlfriend. I'll kick her to the curb for you in a heartbeat." We both laugh and the tears are held at bay for now. He sighs and begins walking to his car to get in. 

"Sam. I love you, too." It's all I can manage, if I say any more I'll break down in front of him in my parents drive way. He winks at me and gets in. I watch his car pull away slowly as he drives down the road back to his own home. I can see him watching me in the rearview mirror as he goes. 
 

THE END.

Note from writer: 
If you made it to the end of my story thank you so much! This was my first ever piece and I know it's not perfect but I'm glad I gave it a try! Please leave me your thoughts, negative or positive so I can improve and hopefully write something better and more in depth next time!