Where am I...

Where am I? Where is this? I am surrounded by cloud like fog.... or is it mist...upwards I see just density...no color... just dullness and space...I feel my body ...all seems ok...or is it?

What is happening to me?

Sometimes in our lives it can be difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy....so....



Am I at the end of my life, or is this just a dream?


Then from the bleakness I hear a sound ...coming from nearby:


'Meow. Meow'... hey.....

... I am not alone!


I look around.... in front of me on the ground there suddenly appears green eyes and the sleekness of a feline... black and beautiful......adorable tiny paws with perky ears. A sleek feminine body with soft, smooth fur.

A stray from nowhere...


'Meow...meow'...once again...


My eyes lock in with the green eyes... the big mouth and tiny nose are irresistible.

 Looking at this whiskers I plead in my thoughts:

can you help me? help me!


There is an understanding between us, unspoken but known. I feel an emotion of tenderness and adulation.


 The feline turns around and starts moving forward.

 This mystical creature will surely show me the way....




Green eyes leads me across the earth.

 I am moving effortlessly with a lightness in my being.

The air is fresh and clean, despite the haze....

As I follow, I try to recall:

who I am?

why can I not remember?

Do I have a name? If so, what is it?

And what is my furry leaders name?

Or is this just a mirage?



I am experiencing my ultimate demise or is this just imagination; which is it?


Faces from my life seem to past by me: smiles and greetings....so...yes...yes...this must be an illusion or a mind fantasy or is this simply final closure for me?


I feel a spiritual connection in myself and with the mysterious creature leading me.

Maybe we have somehow known each other for generations.... or is it only just for a few moments...who knows?


My whole body feels contentment and warmth as if this independent animal has touched my life and my soul...and maybe we are irretrievably connected?

All living things are bound by the same organisms.


We strolled together for hours upon hours... pausing for us to communicate silently but lovingly.


Gradually there is a brightness surrounding me and the wispiness of the atmosphere is receding.

Now a cloudless sapphire sky.

Then the mist is gone, and feline has reached a sloping strip of land with golden sands on the edge of an ocean, with waves rippling gently.

The cat turns around away from the sea and our eyes meet again. This bossy yet feisty aficionado.... surely, we met already?

Yes, or no?


This moment was like no other. In the stillness and quiet of the seashore. I feel peaceful and tranquil. This wondrous animal gracing the earth by the goodness of nature sharing with me some moments of paradise and respectful love.


I slowly knell down, though never for a moment do I lose contact with this mystical wonder who had led me in such fleeting moments of nirvana.

Must be that we have known each other for ever?


Pausing before I speak, I draw in a deep breath and whisper:


"This is a lovely dream or is this really my now my end.... whatever.... thank you for the beauty of it all..."

Yet no sooner had I uttered these words and before my very eyes the cat evaporated and disappeared.

I got to my feet quickly in despair.....




I am desperate. The creature with such grace and beauty who had led me to a utopia was nowhere to be seen.

Even though it seemed we had just met it was:

Love at first sight.

I looked as far as I could to my left. No sign at all. I looked to my right:

No sign at all.

The tears roll down my cheeks.

Why? Oh why?


Such a lovely end or a lovely dream; but then to lose the most stunning living thing I had ever met....it was no more like heaven without green eyes here with me...

I sat down on the beach my head in my hands and:

I cried...... again,.....and again....


Being in this Eden, whether real or imagined, is pointless with no love to share:

would my loneliness destroy me?






It must be most of the rest of the day that I sat in front of the sea.

Isolated and bereft.

My body and my soul full of unhappiness....

The sky has darkened.

And the waters swirled and stirred as if angered by my solitude.

I feel sick and sad.



I consider the importance of health and wealth in my life. Yes these are vital. But having love is also so crucial whatever form it takes, be it marriage, family, same sex, platonic or with another living creature.

At the end of the day:

 Love is all there is.


As I am contemplating my life whoever I am and wherever I am may be; perhaps by walking into the sea I will finish it...

Even though from my memory we had only just met, yet without my gorgeous four-legged beauty I was desolate, forlorn and solitary.


I got to my feet and reached the water's edge awaiting to go into the deep....

And I took one more look around before oblivion.....

then suddenly in the distance.... as if my thoughts of death had telepathically become known...

 way along the beach I saw something moving....

Moving purposefully towards me .

It speeded up... graceful and majestic....

It came quicker its eyes on mine....

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

It reached my feet:

'Meow, meow'!

So loud and it pleaded:

"Dinner time! Feeding time!"

-what a cat that speaks?




Suddenly i awoke from the sofa, me mouthing my words again as my eyes opened:

Dinner time, feeding time?

Of course!

Bella my cat had her face pushing at mine and glaring at me as only a cat can.

It was past her dinner time.

She who must be obeyed.

Submitted: June 06, 2023

© Copyright 2023 robert radcliff. All rights reserved.

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