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As other reviewers said, your first chapter held my attention and it was fairly descriptive. I think you could have shorten and combine some of the description together to make it better. Like in the 1st paragraph, you could have wrote: A grand chair behind the desk carved by wood and glazed with crystal white had white cushions or something like t... Read More

Submitted on Sun, July 15th, 2012 2:31pm

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