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Interesting story! I would suggest, however, thinking more about the girls royal lifestyle. Are there servants? Maids? Members of court? Do castles have living rooms or throne rooms? I know this is set in a fantasy world, but from the way the girls talk, I imagine them to be modern girls in our world. These are just thoughts, take them as you wi... Read More

Submitted on Fri, May 28th, 2010 1:02am


Well put together. It was hard to read at first, but then I got the hang of it. It's almost like reading a journal or listening to a story being told. I look forward to seeing more!

Submitted on Fri, May 28th, 2010 12:57am


I'd suggest using paragraph breaks, it would make your writing easier to read.

Submitted on Mon, October 5th, 2009 6:21am

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