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I think this story could work as a novel. You could add so much to it. For example, the backstory of the main character. That is, unless your main focus is the present. I think if it was left as a short story, you’ll have to leave some things to the reader’s imagination, which isn’t bad ( if that’s your intention). To me this story s... Read More

Submitted on Sun, June 27th, 2021 11:51pm

Another good one here. A man willing to risk much for a moment’s pleasure. A necessity, in his mind. He’s even willing to lie to his ( plain) wife.....not knowing what’s in store for him. Perhaps thinking more about what’s to gain than what’s to be lost. Never thinking about the dangers that lurk out there. Nice work.

Submitted on Sat, June 26th, 2021 4:54am

I can feel the horror the character Murphy felt when he sees the Mechanites in this chapter. I can also see the similarities to those freakish Cenobites here, and I’m reminded of how they ( plus Pinhead of course) make their first appearance in Hellraiser. I also see how the spider-babydoll inspired you in how these beings ( or demon?) look. ... Read More

Submitted on Fri, June 25th, 2021 4:39pm

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