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Lovely work as always. I like the first version best: the effect of the lines seems stronger when they are all put together. I also love the way the last two lines fit together. Excellent piece! ~Bitter Irony

Submitted on Thu, October 4th, 2007 1:34am

Excellent piece of flash: your description is wonderful, and the whole work flows perfectly from word to word and idea to idea. I enjoyed the twist at the end, as I imagine many others have. To make this piece easier to read (especially for on-line readers) I suggest dividing it up into paragraphs instead of using one large chunk of text. Ke... Read More

Submitted on Thu, July 19th, 2007 11:33pm

You're certainly an excellent story teller! You made it very easy to get into the story, and your characters are outstanding. By the way, is it any coincidence that your immortal character is named Dorien Gris? I'm thinking of another eternally young man with a similar name. ~Bitter Irony

Submitted on Sat, June 2nd, 2007 2:57am

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