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Sounds really interesting. I'm excited for the next chapter. It seems a little wordy though, like too many details. Almost like her journal. I hope that changes in the next chapter. This has potential to be really good:) nice job and keep it up.

Submitted on Sun, May 13th, 2012 5:35pm

Not too shabby, I like it so far:) the only critique I have is you should try and break up your sentences a little. Otherwise, doing good:)

Submitted on Sun, May 13th, 2012 5:29pm

I read this and couldn't help but picture my heart in a glass box. You have told such a great story in so little writing. You have a gift, this is beautiful.

Submitted on Wed, April 25th, 2012 10:54pm

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