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by edna

This was a lovely well crafted chapter. I love the different points of views. The old lady gossiping about her crazy story, the boy with a mound of homework to do and being jealous of his friends outside. I got a very good sense of a close nit town. And the metal tentacles is a very interesting teaser. I'm looking forward for more.

Submitted on Mon, January 13th, 2014 3:52pm

Woops. Wrong story. Sorry. I really enjoyed Coming to Terms. It had a really good point to make. The action for the one character seemed genuine in the fact that she wanted her to realize what the relationship was. I think she makes her argument very convincingly. I like both characters. I do want to see more of how he hurt her. Or how the other... Read More

Submitted on Sun, January 12th, 2014 2:39am

I wanted the characters to be more fleshed out. I wanted a stronger reason as to why she ends up with her ex. I think there can be a setup or a previous scene to really glue all the elements together.

Submitted on Sun, January 12th, 2014 2:36am

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