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I love your concept. (= One of my first novels was about Elementals, so I'm always happy to read stories about them. You could really benefit from adding more detail. You do a lot of telling, and almost no showing. But I'm curious to find out how his father knew he'd be dead if his son was reading the letter. Plan on writing more?

Submitted on Sun, December 4th, 2011 5:07am

This is soooooooo true. When I was thirteen, I spent a year writing my first "novel". THE. DAY. AFTER. I finished, the computer crashed. My poor little fourteen year-old self was devastated and discouraged beyond belief. Everything gets emailed to myself now. -.-

Submitted on Sat, October 22nd, 2011 6:21pm

I wasn't expecting to see a character with my name, spelled correctly even. Creepy. I think this has a lot of potential. As it is right now, I don't see it as much of a story. I think it would interesting to see what else you can do with it. (=

Submitted on Sat, October 22nd, 2011 5:59pm

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