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I didnt finish it because I have to go somewhere. But I would've if I had. According to what Ive read so far, you're very good. :)

Submitted on Mon, May 16th, 2016 6:27pm

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I can say that I read the first paragraph and was pretty impressed. Your descriptions have potential, but you need to sharpen them. I had to reread a few of those sentences to really see an image, but nonetheless the image I wanted to see, and that you inspired this in me through your writing is no ordinary feat! :)

Submitted on Mon, May 16th, 2016 6:09pm

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I wish you had more descriptions of places, the church, the world around her, and the world inside her, I want to see that.

Submitted on Mon, May 16th, 2016 5:16pm

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