Lea Reken

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Iced love

Chapter 1 - Iced love

Wow, I can almost feel how sad you were. Some words of constructive criticism though, try using rhyming more often. It will help the poem flow smoother. It's a bit long, but as long as you feel like it was enough. Good job!

Submitted on Wed, July 20th, 2011 11:19pm

Whispers in the Dark...

Chapter 1 - Whispers in the Dark...

It was good! But try using more rhyming at the end of the sentences. Rhyming helps the poem flow smoothly and it also catches the reader's attention! Also, at the end you used "..." Try not to use that, instead, end it confidently with a period. Hope this helps! Could you read some of my poems too? Thanks!

Submitted on Wed, July 20th, 2011 1:59am


Chapter 1 - Vampirella

It's good, but you seem to be using present tense for all the verbs in the first couple of sentences. It creates a confusion about when those events actually took place. And when you used "Perfect!", it makes the vampire seem more childish. Before that comment, you paint a very dark and ominous picture of the vampire, but by using "Perfect!" you un... Read More

Submitted on Wed, June 22nd, 2011 6:55am

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